Category: Performance Critiques

The Sunday writer’s mic

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaCnDL2el9E

0m23s I tried changing what part comes first, I don’t think it works

0m38s I like changing the voice from man to woman in the middle of the sentence

1m33s I can say this in less words

2m10s I need to make this into an actual story, not a one liner

2m35s I like the affirmative action joke, I need to reword it though

3m23s Instead of “special” say “important”

3m54s Put a joke there

4m32s The concept is funny but I need to remember the actual lines

5m04s The word “morgue” should be last

Overall: I did a lot of new jokes, and they all need a lot of work. Changing the voice of the person mid sentence during the shoes commercial seems funny. I just need to make the differences in the two characters bigger, add some physicality to it.

The Saturday Night show, small crowd and in a torrential downpour

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srXftEh6vHQ

2m24s When material isn’t hitting, my go to is calling the crowd out on what they’re thinking

3m35s There was a foreign looking couple with their high school daughter

4m14s I need to word “too” before “excited”

4m29s I’m not getting laughs but now I’m just enjoying subliminally telling this young girl to do what she wants to do and not listen to her parents

5m18s Throw out my hand again on “tap dancing”

Overall: Very blah set. I was low energy and when the first couple of jokes didn’t hit, I started to mail it in a little. The positive is that I was able to start having fun in the middle of my set by calling out the immigrant parents and expectations for their daughter.

A Saturday afternoon open mic

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QN8OwRQCvQc

0m30s I’m playing with trying to start dark

1m39s Have the fingers on my hand more relaxed if they’re gonna be resting on my pants

3m18s Stop after “dry freeze bag”

4m24s This first one was supposed to be aol email versus gmail, then a music reference

5m22s That’s funny

5m50s Reword to “a photo at the morgue”

6m22s Have a bigger, more excited smile and act it out as an actual character

6m59s Don’t adjust my shirt right after a punch line, that’s distracting

Overall: The only big laugh was when I confused Sarah McLouclin with The Rolling Stones, so it was a rough set, even for an open mic. Also, looking at my notes ruins my flow and increases the odds that other comics will tune out. I have to try out brand new material somewhere but I should try to know what jokes I’ll be doing before hand so I don’t take such long pauses when looking at my notes.

The Friday Night Show

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-jnTII00ZQ

2m18s That’s great

2m22s I should get his name then tell them to clap for him

2m40s I need a better way to get the “so my parents keep talking to me” line across

3m34s Not sure why that line didn’t hit, I delivered it well and paused long enough

4m48s Good call back on him being slow and making it part of another joke I do

5m18s Cut the word “for” out between “given you” and “adoption”

6m10s Good job doing three little jokes about my looks to three different groups of females

7m42s Try changing “three tonight?” to “this week?”

8m12s Smile more when doing this act out

8m33s Stay in the female voice for this last part

9m18s I love how admitting I’m about to cross the line gets a big laugh

Overall: Decent set but it’s weird the whole first part of my mom joke didn’t hit, as that tends to be one of the most consistent jokes. The yelp joke and shoes jokes are working pretty well, and will be even better once I make some more minor teaks.

An open mic with six or eight comics there

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpNmL0cM2WE

0m15s Ad libbing from what the MC said

1m05s I’m purposefully trying to start with my dark stuff and see what happens

2m16s Don’t say the word “jokes”

4m26s Just say “tap dancing” no need to add “at NYU” cause “tap dancing” is the punch word

5m10s Move my eyes around, not my whole head for this character, that will communicate paranoia better

6m47s No need for the “oh my god” before “she is such a feminist,” maye a “wow”

7m24s Logically it should be “exactly one couple” instead of “one person”

8m07s Don’t put the emphasis on “unlike”

8m40s Maybe have my mom ask about the Aids at the start… this joke needs tightening and rewriting

Part 2

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiT1Xm9vsE0

1m08s Try changing it to “Hey Bill, yeah it’s really been two weeks, I know, I’m just here to pick up my check…”

Overall: It was a small crowd of comics and I got a laugh or three on most jokes, which is pretty good. The mesotheelioma joke needs to be rewritten and the tap dancing joke needs some minor tweaks.