An open mic with six or eight comics there
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpNmL0cM2WE
0m15s Ad libbing from what the MC said
1m05s I’m purposefully trying to start with my dark stuff and see what happens
2m16s Don’t say the word “jokes”
4m26s Just say “tap dancing” no need to add “at NYU” cause “tap dancing” is the punch word
5m10s Move my eyes around, not my whole head for this character, that will communicate paranoia better
6m47s No need for the “oh my god” before “she is such a feminist,” maye a “wow”
7m24s Logically it should be “exactly one couple” instead of “one person”
8m07s Don’t put the emphasis on “unlike”
8m40s Maybe have my mom ask about the Aids at the start… this joke needs tightening and rewriting
Part 2
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiT1Xm9vsE0
1m08s Try changing it to “Hey Bill, yeah it’s really been two weeks, I know, I’m just here to pick up my check…”
Overall: It was a small crowd of comics and I got a laugh or three on most jokes, which is pretty good. The mesotheelioma joke needs to be rewritten and the tap dancing joke needs some minor tweaks.
