Category: Performance Critiques

This is me MCing an open mic

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKi-zzp1BgM

0m24s I’m not being conversational right now

0m38s No need for the “heaven” tag

0m50s But I’m still gonna do it

1m20s The efficiency joke needs to be tried on a real audience

1m45s I think the “we fight injured children” might work better as a sketch for a bad grammar advertising agency

2m04s That’s just a premise about mutual enemies, I need an actual joke there

2m52s It’s less wordy to say “When drinking gets in the way of your job, so you quit work”

3m09s I need a long pause between “neuroeconomics” and “I don’t know what the hell that means either”

3m32s Going too fast for this whole skit

4m08s This joke needs work, I haven’t been able to practice my material out loud because I’m couch surfing

4m45s There’s a funnier way to get that same house dad point across

5m02s I decided to do one joke I know works to see the maximum laughs I could get, this isn’t really a useful strategy for the end of a set

6m04s I could’ve done this slower, paused and gotten a laugh

Overall: I could’ve probably addressed the comics hating me and waiting for me to get off stage less often. The threesome efficiency joke is ready to be tried on a real audience and the fighting injured children bit needs to become a sketch instead of stand up.

A Tuesday show for a crowd of 11

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghgtVpDVDEU

1m01s One of these days I’m gonna get random audience members to make out during my set

1m06s I couldn’t do my regular “don’t try (insert dating service)” cause it would’ve been mean given how she looked, so I tried to save it by adding more words

1m14s I setup my suicide joke here, but it was too early to go to it, so the transition was a little weird

2m25s Do the mouse click slower and more dramatically

3m00s I held back here. My first instinct was to ask “have you done it yet” and then enquire about her fake rack. It would’ve also made sense to ask how they met here, suggesting a site like “sugar daddies and big boobs dot com” because of how they looked and then going into my online dating joke.

3m30s I tried changing the order of the Russian family stuff here and it led to me stumbling over the premises

4m28s I love the single applause clap

5m44s Admitting it’s messed up lets me get away with going further, I learned that in improv

7m08s I still don’t have a good response for when someone hasn’t spayed their dog

7m43s My hand should be out in a “presenting” way, not in a double pump motion

Overall: This was the first time in a while where my material did well but my improvised crowd work didn’t. I think this was because I didn’t go with my first instinct in a couple of moments as I decided my instincts were too mean. Also, changing the order of the Russian Family joke makes sense but I need to make it smoother.

This is the Sunday Writer’s Mic

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvbGqeogZhQ

0m11s I thought that line would hit a lot harder as it was a reference to the previous comic

0m33s Photos and video of me being a trannie coming shortly

0m53s I should smile after that

0m57s Someone said “that’s pretty good”

1m06s He said something about “validation”

1m09s That was mean, but not “ooooo” mean, I was just ready to move on

1m37s I might need to tighten that to “Take out the for and you get “we fight injured children””

2m05s I need to say “If I impregnate someone” not “if I do that”

2m23s I thought house daddy was good, the delivery wasn’t right though

2m45s I need to think of better act outs and follow ups but I like the concept of “mutual enemies”

3m23s I didn’t deliver “I don’t know what the hell that means either” right as I’m trying to rush the first two parts that everyone knows to get to the last part

4m05s It’s really hard to say “tetrahedral carbon crystal”

4m18s It should be “commencing” not “consuming”

4m28s I need to change the explanation and add that I had to google “tetrahedral carbon crystal”

4m52s I think that’s funny

Overall: Not a great set. This was mostly brand new material that I didn’t even get a chance to practice out loud before getting on stage. These jokes all need to be worked and reworked but none of them missed completely enough for me to remove it right away.

This is me in DC for the second night in a row opening the show for a crowd of around 30

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0ZWfknFTtM

0m06s I really prefer not to have someone say “he’s just starting out” as I think the audience starts thinking “great he sucks”, that might be my imagination though

0m18s The MC said he’d be babysitting the crowd, so I called back to that

0m30s What were the odds that two nights in a row a woman would have similar hair to me

0m53s That’s slightly mean of me but hysterical

2m26s I need to do another “what the hell” look after “Igor loves this”

2m41s That was an instant improvisation

2m57s Comedians laugh at this setup, but actual audience doesn’t

4m11s Should’ve waited another half second as the second round of laughs were about to start

5m48s A little too mean just because I said it so fast, it wouldn’t have come off as mean if I said it slower and more low key

7m05s I could’ve added a tag of “didn’t they teach “not interrupting” in 1795?”

8m01s I’ve watched this three times, and I laugh every time at my fake singing

8m22s I should’ve responded “too bad you’re not driving”

9m25s The hand motion worked better this time

9m57s Not getting a single laugh on my first punch line here was a bad sign

Part 2

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZ56G36F6Rs

0m54s The whole dog joke missed

1m08s This isn’t a joke to go to after I lose the crowd

1m34s I got them back a little bit, but not fully

1m58s Also not a joke to go to if I’m on the brink of losing the crowd

2m47s The delivery is fine, but if I’ve lost the crowd this joke won’t work

3m14s That was a decent fake joke to end it

Overall: Doing well for 10 minutes and sucking for 3 minutes feels like doing well for 3 minutes and sucking for 10. I did really well the first 9 minutes 45 seconds and ate a big fat dick for the last 3 minutes 30 seconds. I went into the dogs joke really randomly, instead of doing a little crowd work about animals first, so the crowd didn’t follow me. I could’ve still won them back but I structure my set so that the “messed up” or “meaner” jokes come towards the end after (presumably) the crowd likes me and lets me get away with more. If I lose the crowd right before the “meaner” stuff it’s not pretty.

This is back down in DC at All Stars, crowd of about fifteen people

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G12aAJdB9jA

0m11s I’ve left the MC’s intro in here because it’s “unique” and I responded to it to start my set

0m40s Haven’t heard I look like the Brady Bunch before, that’s pretty funny

1m10s Impressive that the intro took over a minute

1m22s Before I was brought up the MC was talking about Skull Vodka for a good five minutes

1m38s A woman had hair similar to mine

2m58s I didn’t even think that was a funny response

3m51s After “are you in an abusive relationship?” I should’ve gone with “I can rescue you”

6m35s Two great improvised lines in a row here, “You can molest me” and “I’ve never been molested… on stage”. I should remember to bring those back for other shows

7m25s Fix the order of the words in the premise

7m40s One too many hand gestures

7m58s This family stuff isn’t hitting as well as the previous

8m43s I was able to bring the crowd back

9m48s Best random audience story I’ve ever heard. I should have gone more into it.

Part 2

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0acBqT2lE0

0m12s I should’ve pushed the CD’s thing, like “don’t talk to him about us anymore, we’re over”

1m24s Good improvisation and transition into a joke

2m18s I should’ve gone back to hitting on the girl and asking if she likes the rhythm method here

2m38s I forced this joke in here and shouldn’t have

3m17s I love how I went for the third part of the joke after I said I was right on the line

3m57s The licking of the lips is really making this joke work

4m13s This was where I would’ve wanted to get off stage, but I didn’t get the light yet so I kept going

4m56s The last punch line of neuroeconomics is new and worked well

5m15s This is where I couldn’t think of a next joke to do

6m10s I’m rather impressed with myself that I didn’t have material for over a minute and still seem comfortable

6m32s My transition was so random that an audience member yelled out “what?” I need to work on my transitions.

Overall: The first 14 minutes were pretty good. I was comfortable on stage, switching between talking to the crowd and doing material pretty  seamlessly. A few jokes didn’t hit but I was able to bring the crowd back without losing anyone. The last three minutes weren’t as strong mainly because I hadn’t planned on being on stage that long, although I was still able to get laughs and improvise. I need to practice my whole set more often so it takes me longer to run out of material.