Performance Critique: March 25

This is the same place as the previous night, this time the crowd is 4 or 5 people. 

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hb8hpMzRRgU

0m57s I shouldn’t ask the audience member what he’s thanking god for 

1m58s Good pause on the “or tennis”, you can hear the audience member repeating my joke to his friend 

3m03s That’s two strikes for this joke, one more and it goes to die 

3m45s Good turn of a bad answer 

3m50s Don’t ask if they cheated 

4m29s If the audience isn’t paying to see the show, I’ll use my notes. If they’re paying, I won’t. 

5m45s I shouldn’t deadpan “we can’t be friends” to an audience, or at least tell her I’m kidding

7m55s Don’t ask the first question of “do you guys smoke pot”, assume they do and ask “which one of you smokes the most pot?” this should get a laugh 

Part 2 

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qf9GK2DPf1w

1m10s I’m not sure why I’ve started swaying from left to right in the middle of this 

1m40s I should try to get more excited when I’m proscribing crazy ideas that I believe will improve life for everyone 

2m58s It should be “other circus people” not “other clown people” 

3m25s Figure out a way to say this without getting tongue tied 

3m48s There’s one more line to the joke, but I wasn’t sure they’d laugh and I try to leave on a high note 

Overall: Considering there was a small audience, the set went pretty well. I interacted with them and told the jokes I wanted to tell. The newer jokes about rock paper scissor and protests are working while the office beer mistake joke is bombing.

Performance Critique: March 24

This is the place in DC I’m usually at. There were about 6 to 8 people in the audience. 

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5w_r08SPgUs

1m12s There was an actual meeting at work where this came up and I found the logic hysterical. I haven’t been able to figure out how to get it to translate on stage. 

1m46s I don’t need to say “I actually want to get fired” I can just go straight into the “I have a get rich quick scheme” 

2m24s This can be shortened to just “from voting McCain” no need to mention Sarah 

2m50s The premise needs to be worded to be shorter 

3m11s Enunciate “horny” longer and funnier 

3m40s It should be “who used to be in the circus” 

4m08s There’s more to the online dating joke, but I’m learning to let jokes go if I get interrupted and just move on 

4m35s I don’t think you could understand her saying “fine” either 

5m21s This joke is failing miserably, I need to say it out loud to myself twenty times 

5m47s I was talking to a middle aged couple 

6m08s Say “it’s all downhill.. after the standup” 

6m24s Say the movie name in the beginning then describe it 

6m41s Now the audience is being distracting 

7m20s Try not to say “third date” twice 

7m47s That’s a great shake of the head at the other side of the audience 

8m14s More emphasis on this being the ONLY way to tell, this way it will be slightly more ridiculous and over the top 

Overall: Pretty good set. I’m especially happy with the way I wasn’t phased by the audience interaction (I won’t call it heckling because they thought they were being helpful) and how I was able to cut off jokes when I had to respond to the audience.

Performance Critique: March 22

This is the Sunday open / feedback mic I go to. There were two or three audience members here.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIhhK4xBUlo

0m03s I didn’t ask to be introduced with the cute thing at this mic… 

0m25s When the MC gave the “he’s cute intro” another comic started to get up, so everyone was laughing at him 

0m37s The comic is my friend so I was just teasing 

0m52s Wait another second of silence after “or tennis” 

1m38s I wrote down a version of this joke when my friend observed it, but I’ve been unable to recreate the humor on stage 

2m23s Don’t ask “you probably didn’t cheat on him, right?” Make it a statement 

3m15s Bad timing between the words and my actions. The best part of the joke was “because my career is going places” everything else needs serious work 

4m02s Make it that I’ve already been protesting, instead of wanting to start 

4m36s This reaction is actually is pretty good for an open mic 

5m22s This should be said more ranty and fed up 

Overall: I tried out some new jokes and most of them worked. After the set, I got a suggestion to add a line about voting for McCain to my rock paper scissor joke so I’ll be trying that out.

So You’ve Been Laid Off: Now What?

I’ve written a script and story boarded it below. I know it will be much funnier if I ever get to shoot it with real actors and someone who can sound like a more convincing announcer than I do.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhN7O3AO-Cg

Feedback is always appreciated.

[scrippet]
INT. BOSS’S OFFICE – DAY

BOSS
As you know we’re in a tough spot. And we’re going to have to let you go.

BOB
You mean I’m being laid off?

Zoom in on BOB, shock/frown turns to smile

CUE 1950’s music and NARRATOR

NARRATOR is 1950’s style voice/tone or similar to the NARRATOR from those annoying male enhancement commercials (Enzyte?) with the character BOB

NARRATOR
So you don’t have a job anymore? Don’t worry. It’s happening to lots of people. Here’s what you do:

INT. LIQUOR STORE – DAY

BOB walks into a liquor store, goes to the counter and puts down a bunch of singles, he receives lottery tickets

NARRATOR
Step One: Don’t buy lottery tickets. You’re not gonna win, and those dollars can be better spent….

CAMERA ZOOMS IN on a dollar bill

INT. STRIP CLUB – NIGHT

CAMERA is still on a dollar bill, but when it zooms out, the bill is in a woman’s G-string and BOB is giving a thumbs up to the camera

NARRATOR
…at the strip club

INT. HOME OFFICE – DAY

BOB has a resume open on his computer and is working at it, the camera is zooming from BOB and the computer to just the computer

NARRATOR
Step 2: Use the internet to find a new jobs: Yahoo jobs dot com, Hot jobs dot com …

CAMERA SHOWS Computer displays with the mentioned job sites then blurry porn as

NARRATOR
…and handjobs dot com

INT. BOB’S HOME – DAY

Camera shows BOB is exhausted from all the work

NARRATOR
Now that you’re not throwing away money at the state lottery and your resume is online, it’s time to take a well deserved break. Go outside. Get some fresh air.

EXT. HORSE RACETRACK – DAY

BOB is putting down bets on the long shot horse.

NARRATOR
That’s not exactly what I had in mind

EXT. COCKFIGHT YARD – NIGHT

NARRATOR
No, not that either.

INT. DOOR EXIT TO OUTSIDE WITH SIGN “MONKEY KNIFE FIGHTS” – NIGHT

Camera shows BOB on his way towards the knife fights

NARRATOR
Alright Bob, let’s just move along

INT. BOB’S HOME – NIGHT

NARRATOR
Now that you’ve rested, it’s time to see if anyone wants to hire you yet.

CAMERA SHOWS BOB checking email. Zooms into the computer and displays 5 or 6 subjects about a job, and a porn spam mail with blow job in the title. BOB deletes the real emails and clicks the porn, and gives a thumbs up.

CAMERA SHOWS time going forward for six days. Tissues pile up near Bob’s “job search” machine.

NARRATOR
Eventually though, you need to go out and network.

BRIEF CLIP OF STRIP CLUB

NARRATOR
No not there.

INT. HOOTERS – DAY

NARRATOR
Getting closer, but not quite Bob

INT. BUSINESS NETWORKING EVENT – NIGHT

NARRATOR
That’s more like it.

CAMERA finds Bob in a corner, shooting dice and collecting money

NARRATOR
With persistence and a little bit of luck, you’ll have a new job in no time.

INT. OFFICE – DAY

Camera starts zoomed in on BOB as he types on a computer, but you cannot see the text. BOB is smiling.

NARRATOR
It may even be better than your old one.

Camera zooms out to show BOB as a bookie taking bets, camera ends with BOB giving a big smile and thumbs up to the camera.
[/scrippet]

“How To Be a Working Comic” Quotes

I read How To Be A Working Comic by Dave Schwensen and did not find it that useful. Here’s the quotes I found most interesting. If you like the book, buy it here.

“Nothing is better for business than to be good. Your only business decision when starting out is to do your act as often as you can. Take as many punches as you can onstage for free. It’ll all pay off later. But for now, just get on to get on.” (4)

“The whole key to becoming a working comic: be professional and be prepared.” (62)

“Most comedians spend many years practicing and polishing their acts before they actually make a living in this business. Be prepared for disappointments, but be aware of any gradual improvements you make, too. If you can honestly say you’re getting better, then continue to work hard. If not, then don’t be afraid to reevaluate your career choice.” (112)

“You have to write ten clean, non-topical jokes a day. They have to be jokes that can last a couple of years.” -Drew Carrey (116)

“I think being famous and getting all this money frees you to be whatever you’ve been holding back, to be what you naturally are. So, if you’re naturally a jerk, you can stop being nice to people you don’t want to be nice to anymore. You can start speaking your mind like you always wished you could have. If you feel like being a total bitch, a whiner and a complainer, unappreciative of everything that God’s given you, then you can! You can start demanding stuff, like, ‘Where’s my limo?’ because you’re naturally a jerk.
If you’re naturally a nice person, it still frees your ego to do whatever it wants. Well, I’m always nice to everybody, I think. It’s more important to me to be decent to people, because I’ve got to sleep at night. I don’t want people writing articles about me saying, “That Drew was a real jerk today.” I don’t want to name any names, but I’ve heard horrible stories about people who get famous. One was on a sitcom, and all people could talk about was how awul this guy was. He was mean to everybody, nasty and demanding.” –Drew Carrey (117)

“There’s no right or wrong in comedy. I feel if you’re getting laughs, then that’s working.” –Rhonda Shear (161)

“Don’t let anyone discourage you, because everyone will try to, especially in comedy. There is more negativity there than in any other business. Just do your own thing. Get that stage time no matter how laborious, no matter how far the drive may be. It will be worth it. If you really love it, you’ll stick with it. Once the comedy bug bites, it’s hard to get away from it.” –Rhonda Shear (162)

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