Tag: Critiques

A check spot on the 10pm

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrCNTTtN0xA

0m44s Slightly weird pointing forward motion

2m41s Find a better way for this line

3m38s Go softer on “I’m kidding”

3m55s Shift tone between the first and second half of the sentence more

4m08s I reversed the order of the war profiteering and the neuro, thereby running the neuro war profiteering line

5m34s Don’t acknowledge the bills in that way

5m50s Go even sadder on the delivery

7m25s I could mess with him more for lack of originality

Overall: Average to mediocre check spot

The 8pm show

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACKinx4jekc

0m45s True quick anecdote about today, not that funny though

3m24s Find a better way to that line

4m01s Say the “I just learned” at the start of the sentence

6m31s Get to that line a little quicker

6m41s Hit the last line harder

6m54s Pause for half a second after “transferred in from”

7m44s Slow down a little

8m10s Turn to the side for this line

Overall: Good set. I did two week old jokes and they went over decently well. I just need to tighten them up.

Late night music and comedy, with a birthday party group chatting in the back

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bY6ulHgIvhA

0m38s Good riff to start

1m11s Emphasize “I’m” in that sentence

1m21s Emphasize “your”

5m15s Work on the wording for that

7m12s I should try a little more to control the talking

8m14s Nice delivery on that line

9m05s Don’t need that last line

Overall: Eh. I was so focused on working out my new stuff that I didn’t put in as much effort into controlling the crowd as I should’ve.

Doing a check spot

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2t4HweeOkqY

1m08s I mixed up where “shoes” and “hair” go, ruining the joke

1m25s Can’t do the “you look like you disappointed your parents” line if the previous line totally misses, do something less aggressive first

2m25s Decent job of going with the “audience participation”

3m15s Say “you’re my favorite audience member” instead of “my kind of girl”, it’s a stronger version

Overall: Ok for a check spot, not great

A writer’s mic

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJSsXWt7e_w

0m52s Have a more specific posture for the friend

1m32s Say the sentence without pausing in the middle

2m15s Say “steady” before “sex supply”

3m22s Try “lone” instead of “only”

3m40s Make this punchier

5m33s Try saying the last one in my mom’s accent

Overall: Weak to mediocre mic response. Working out new jokes.