This is the feedback mic I go to on Sundays.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-ynWOS6bpo
0m36s One of the comics in this room is a clown
0m53s I love this new punch line about face painting, it can still be tightened though
1m52s Terrible pacing on the punch line
1m58s I love rewinding time
2m04s The Halloween part of the facebook joke still needs to be fixed
2m15s There was a random group of five people that walked in that didn’t speak English
2m51s Stop saying “bam” and just do the finger snap
2m59s Throw in a “you’d be surprised how often that happens”
4m01s I like the nascar driver part but it needs to be worded better
4m11s True story, and I actually told them that “woah, I won’t cheat… with just one of you”
Overall: There were four new punch lines that I was trying out and only one of them worked (face painting). The other ones have promise (facebook Halloween, take her to a comedy club for the second date and nascar driver) but need to be worded better
For the Jdate joke about costing money, I think it needs at least one additional sentence to explain your point, something like “IT COSTS MONEY…Think about that for a second, a site catering exclusively to the cheapest group of people on the planet, charging for something that’s free at [some sort of witty, ideally jewish social situation]. Believe it or not, when I signed up, I was the only one on it.”
Hey Andrew,
I agree that it needs something, and it took me rewatching my videos of where the line gets a big laugh and where it doesn’t to figure it out.
Basically, if I shrug one shoulder and give a “what the hell” look while staring off into the ground, this conveys the same point as I would by saying “Think about that for a second, a site catering exclusively to the cheapest group of people on the planet, charging for something that’s free at Hillel Club”
Great comment, though, I’d love to hear more of your feedback.
Best,
Ben