This is me hosting the writer’s mic, sorry about the bad camera angle
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaUkaAk2zXk
0m13s I think it’s a funny line, even if it’s not stand up funny
0m45s Stumbling over words
0m50s I should have quicker movements when switching between two characters
1m15s Whenever you gotta explain a joke, it’s not a keeper
1m38s Terrible story with no punch lines, cut it
2m28s There’s nothing like working a joke out on stage
2m47s Cut “the amount” it should just be “twice the toys and twice the neglect”
3m10s Make the English word drag out longer
3m58s No need for “shit trenches”
4m52s Russian accent needs to be even stronger
5m02s Say “help me” more scared
Overall: The family stuff has promise but needs to be tightened, the first minute of jokes can be thrown out
