Performance Critique #3: Jan 12

Here is my set from The Velvet Lounge, a nice little bar down in Williamsburg. They have free stand up shows every Monday night, I highly recommend checking it out if you’re in the neighborhood. This was a booked spot and had 5 audience members (I think the crowds will grow, this was the show’s first week).


My comments:

  • Audio/Video: The conditions were less than ideal so I apologize for the sub-par video. I’m going to read my video camera’s instruction manual before the next time I perform at a non-comedy club.
  • 0m09s A previous comic learned that one of the audience members was from Israel, so I said hi in Hebrew (not Israeli!)
  • 0m37s Hit “bullshit artist” harder (more emphasis)
  • 1m28s No need for “This New Years” before “My favorite part…”
  • 2m20s Nice call back to my not fully formed “stalking” crowd work idea from before
  • 3m06s I need to develop a better response if nobody in the crowd has a dog or not ask the question if there’s less than 20 people in the audience.
  • 3m21s Need a slightly longer pause before “grandma”
  • 4m54s Backup to the last few words of the premise if my joke gets interrupted
  • 5m53s Try “wear my boxers over my pants” as one of the 3 crazy signs
  • 6m10s Kara, the host, introduced me as “probably from Jersey”, that’s what I’m referring to
  • 6m19s Try changing “some of the activities I do like” to “When I”
  • 6m35s “Bring home a guy” sounds awkward, change it to “Bring a guy home”
  • 6m48s Not sure why the second and third part of the tubes joke didn’t work… would love feedback on this
  • 7m10s Great confident pause at the end of the punchline. I need to do this with all of my punchlines.
  • 7m27s I tried taking out “the girl who talks about herself non stop for 4 hours” because nobody was laughign at it, but it may need to go back in so that the “still won’t blow you” girl gets a laugh. I think I’m gonna give it one more try without it and see what happens.
  • 8m03s Try putting the custom made shot glass line before the snuggle head line. I’m not sure why the snuggle slut material didn’t get more laughs, I hope it was something I did and not because the room was predominantly full of females. I actually thought of cutting the joke short when the first few lines didn’t get a laugh but decided to power through. They may have picked up on this lack of confidence.
  • 8m43s Emphasis should be on “money” not on “it costs”
  • 9m13s Wait an extra second before “again”
  • 9m13s I’m going to try removing the catholic joke, moving the Buddhist joke second and ending on “There’s an online dating website for Jehovah’s Witnesses, called “7am on a Saturday, why are you at my door?””

Overall: This was one of the more fun sets I had in a while. I think this is due to it being at a bar, where I got most of my early stand up practice (The Raven Lounge in Philadelphia). I also like not having a stage or a bright spotlight as it’s easier to make eye contact with everyone.This isn’t a good thing, but I need to learn how to be in the same mindset when at a comedy club with a bright spotlight and nobody to look at. Lastly I need to keep track if the snuggle slut and takes tubes jokes don’t play over as well in a predominantly female crowd.

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