Here is my set from an open mic on January 11th. As always, your feedback is welcome.
- 0m25s Great situational response
- 0m41s Put more emphasis on “three times,” make it sound more ridiculous
- 0m47s For “I hit on my ex girlfriend at a bar before”, add “without realizing it” and emphasize the last part
- 0m58s Don’t move after the punchline “it only works once”
- 1m10s Recognizing friend’s dad should be clearer
- 1m20s Emphasis should been on “to a spa”
- 1m50s Don’t look down, look straight ahead
- 2m02s After “I have a plan” I forgot to say “for people who want to play with dogs but without the responsibility” therefore “puppies for yuppies” fell flat
- 2m08s Use the word “booked” instead of “reserved”
- 2m27s Used the word “watch” twice again. Say “care” the first time and “watch” the second
- 2m32s “Sweater loving bastard” needs to be angrier and more accusative
- 2m57s Voice went flat for “would be considered unhealthy”
- 3m10s Wait 2 more seconds before saying “bullshit”
- 3m18s Ask the jets fan line as more of a question, that I actually want to know the answer to, and consider changing jets to giants for topical purposes
- 3m32s Don’t look down, believe that the line is funny before the audience realizes it
- 3m38s Instead of “how many infants do you know that can” say “how are infants supposed to”
- 3m49s Peyton Manning should be at the end of the sentence. “I’m not sure about you but I don’t want my house built by Peyton Manning.”
Overall: I’m still swaying around too much, I need to stop looking down, and I need to hit my punch lines harder and more confidently. Also, I should consider smiling more and being a little looser. There was some laughter in each of the jokes, so none of them go to the graveyard pile, yet.
If any comic wants me to break down their video, leave a youtube link in the comments and I’ll do a post about it.