Category: Comedy

Posted on

Performance Critique #2: Jan 11

Here is my set from an open mic on January 11th. As always, your feedback is welcome.

 

My comments:

  • 0m25s Great situational response
  • 0m41s Put more emphasis on “three times,” make it sound more ridiculous
  • 0m47s For “I hit on my ex girlfriend at a bar before”, add “without realizing it” and emphasize the last part
  • 0m58s Don’t move after the punchline “it only works once”
  • 1m10s Recognizing friend’s dad should be clearer
  • 1m20s Emphasis should been on “to a spa”
  • 1m50s Don’t look down, look straight ahead
  • 2m02s After “I have a plan” I forgot to say “for people who want to play with dogs but without the responsibility” therefore “puppies for yuppies” fell flat
  • 2m08s Use the word “booked” instead of “reserved”
  • 2m27s Used the word “watch” twice again. Say “care” the first time and “watch” the second
  • 2m32s “Sweater loving bastard” needs to be angrier and more accusative
  • 2m57s Voice went flat for “would be considered unhealthy”
  • 3m10s Wait 2 more seconds before saying “bullshit”
  • 3m18s Ask the jets fan line as more of a question, that I actually want to know the answer to, and consider changing jets to giants for topical purposes
  • 3m32s Don’t look down, believe that the line is funny before the audience realizes it
  • 3m38s Instead of “how many infants do you know that can” say “how are infants supposed to”
  • 3m49s Peyton Manning should be at the end of the sentence. “I’m not sure about you but I don’t want my house built by Peyton Manning.”

Overall: I’m still swaying around too much, I need to stop looking down, and I need to hit my punch lines harder and more confidently. Also, I should consider smiling more and being a little looser. There was some laughter in each of the jokes, so none of them go to the graveyard pile, yet.

If any comic wants me to break down their video, leave a youtube link in the comments and I’ll do a post about it.

Posted on

Performance Critique #1: Jan 9

Thanks to an idea by Charlie Hoehn, I’m rolling out a new feature on this blog. Instead of just posting random videos of me doing standup, I will post the every set I do and comment where I messed up / what I can do better. Any additional comments you have would be much appreciated.

This first video is from January 9th and was at an open mic.

 

My comments:

  • 0m14s Voice went up at “confused” for no reason.
  • 0m18s “Thanks” should sound more disappointed.
  • 0m25s I shouldn’t start it with “it’s actually really tough being good looking and a comic”, I should start with “Ugly comics have it easy.”
  • 0m41s End the joke with “personable and charming” and then just give a look of “I’m screwed” without saying anything.
  • 1m6s Don’t move when I’m delivering a punch line. I should be getting 3 laughs: 1) “don’t shower for 2 weeks”, 2) “hop on the train with no pants on”, 3) “and keep mumbling to myself how George Bush was the greatest president ever.” If I stop moving, and I still don’t get laughs during 1 and/or 2, I should cut or remove them.
  • 1m13s No reason to throw in “the first” after George Bush. Consider the throwaway “and I don’t mean the first George.”
  • 1m22s Figure out a more succinct way to explain subway surfing.
  • 1m34s More emphasis on the word “warning.”
  • 1m48s Longer pause after “conveniently available for 5 bucks a pop” and look more distraught before saying “bullshit.”
  • 2m12s Don’t look down after the punchline of “American Beauty” believe people should laugh.
  • 2m14s Instead of “how many infants do you know” say “how are infants supposed to” (suffocate on a burlap sac).
  • 2m27s Try changing “relationships” to “women” it makes more sense.
  • 2m40s More excitement on the word “tizzy”, try “a huge tizzy” instead.
  • 3m50s Don’t say “uhhh.”
  • 4m23s Used the word “watch” twice in one sentence, change words the second time
  • 4m27s I usually do the full dog joke, where the first part talks about dogs preferring their reproductive organs over a sweater, then I find someone who isn’t laughing and say they must really like sweaters. After the hit by the bus, I’d go back to that same person and call them a “sweater loving bastard”. I only did half the joke this time, and the final punchline didn’t work because of it.
  • 4m31s When the guy starts “oohing” I should’ve at least paused until he was done, to build up the tension.
  • Overall: Sway around less, I should either walk or stand still. And don’t look down after a punch line. Keep tightening the new jokes (gym membership, burlap sac, subway surfing).
Posted on

Comedy Goals for 2009

This past summer I tried writing down goals for the first time ever. I didn’t look at the list until a few days ago, and realized that I had managed to complete, or come close to completing, ALL of the goals I wrote down. I think it was in Finding Your North Star that the author wrote something like “There is something magical about writing down your goals. It’s as if by comitting it to paper, you’re much more likely to achieve them.” Since I’m more likely to lose paper than blog postings, without further ado, here are my comedy goals for 2009:

Performing:

  • Get on stage 150 times this year
  • Submit an entry to 2 comedy festivals / comedy contests this year
  • Perform at 3 college shows
  • Do 50 shows in front of a real (people that are not comedians) audience (barking for time counts for this)
  • Practice 10 minutes of my material outloud each day, without notes

Producing:

  • Start producing a recurring show

Writing:

  • Write 100 blog posts
  • Write (something, anything) every day
  • Write one spec script
  • Write 5 short sketches

Learning:

  • Take an improv class

Traffic & Marketing:

  • Get my facebook fan page up to 150 fans
  • Get 50 RSS Subscribers
  • Have 200 unique visitors a month to the blog
Posted on

My Reaction To: Changing the Stand Up Game

Via a great Tucker Max discussion topic and deli.cio.us, I came across a great article about changing the stand up comedy game that caused some interesting reactions in my head and gave me an idea:

The Idea:

Create a seperate video for each of my jokes, post it online, and have users rate my joke one by one. I would post one joke per day. And I would post different versions of the same joke as I rewrote them.

If I can get enough people to vote, I’d promote and perform a “full comedy set as determined by the fans”. This could get really interesting if someone really hated me and had a big following, and then got his fans to vote for all of my worst jokes. It may be time to start making enemies.

My reactions to the article:

  • Jay Schultz and I also had a similiar idea about a specialized social networking site for comedians and fans to learn about each other back in 2006. After basic research, we realized myspace, among other sites, already had a comedy section.
     
  • Char is right that young comics don’t want to post tons of their videos online, but I don’t think the reason he gives, that they are afraid of their material being stolen, is the number one reason.   

    The reason I hear most often is that young comics don’t want videos of themselves posted unless they kill the set. They’re afraid promoters, bookers and/or potential fans may see it and think they suck. They’d rather get booked by word of mouth than by having someone find a less than stellar performance.  I wrote about my theory before, but I haven’t been 100% committed to it in the past month. I’ve stopped posting EVERY performance online, and have become more selective. This article motivated me to start posting everything again. Anyone interested in standup should be able to follow my progression, mic by painful mic. In the interest of full disclosure, I do post my less than stellar videos on a different youtube account than I post my good stuff so that bad videos don’t show up in random search results. So unless you’re reading my blog, you won’t be able to find the bad videos via youtube search. I’m also thinking of creating a seperate youtube account for my joke by joke video voting above.
     

  • I can’t wait for the first time Dane Cook steals one of my jokes. I’ll take this as a sign of my progress as a writer and performer.
  • Is there a way to encourage two drink minimums before watching comedy on YouTube?
  • A lot of what he described is what I’ve been trying to do. I’ve just been focusing more on creating content (and getting funny) than on marketing and promoting my blog. I’m still undecided if I should start spending some of my time marketing and promoting, or worrying about that after I’m a more solid performer. Judy Carter’s The Comedy Bible says the 3 steps of comedy success are 1) Get Good 2) Get Noticed 3) Get Paid. Given Web 2.0, maybe this is no longer the case?
Posted on

Keep Tightening Material

Last Saturday was the first time I got consistent laughs throughout my set. The laughs weren’t as hard as when I Killed (I think it was due to a smaller audience), but they kept on coming.

In comedy, “to tighten material” means “to shorten it”. And that’s what I’ve been doing. The constant laughter in the video is a direct reflection of that. Editing myself down to fewer and fewer words about a topic is one of the most painful things for me (and many writers) to do.

I have an irrational emotional attachment to my words, especially to punch lines that I find funny but the audience doesn’t react to. Although it takes me longer to dump extra words than it should, I have been doing it, and I’m going to continue to do it, even if it feels like I’m murdering one of my children every time I hit the delete key.

Here’s the set:

Verified by ExactMetrics