Sketch: The Car Accident

In July I took a three week intensive sketch writing class and we had a show at the end of class. Below is video of the sketch that I wrote. This is broken up into three parts because there were two sketches between each of these three parts.

Video of my “acting ability” for sketches written by others is coming shortly.

Part 1

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQv_YZrFCwk

Part 2

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIN6bYRVN2Q

Part 3

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYqYfxUBPhQ

And for anyone interested, here is the actual script:

[scrippet]

A loud car crash is heard. LIGHTS ON

JOEY
Holy shit! Are you okay?

MEGAN
I think so. I’ve never been in a car accident before.

JOEY
Yeah… me… neither.  Did you not see me slam my brakes there?

MEGAN
I don’t know it all happened so fast.

JOEY
Let’s look at the damage

JOEY and MEGAN walk over to examine the rear end collision. JOEY is very close and in MEGAN’S personal space. He starts speaking in a slow, seductive voice.

JOEY
Both cars have very minor damage. It’s almost like my rear bumper was custom designed not to damage in a collision or something.

MEGAN
Yeah, great bumper, but why are you standing so close to me.

JOEY
To get a better look… [Joey looks at Megan’s butt] …at the accident.

MEGAN
Huh?

JOEY
I mean, do you think we should call the insurance company?

MEGAN
Oh god, I can’t afford for my rates to go up. This seems pretty minor.

JOEY
It does seem pretty minor. Why don’t you just give me your name and phone number, and I’ll call you to arrange everything…

MEGAN starts to reach for a pad and write out her information

JOEY
I’m thinking dinner at Giovanni’s Steakhouse tonight, followed by some mini golf, and who knows what else.

MEGAN
Woah. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you stopped short on purpose just so you could get my number.

JOEY is flustered

JOEY
What? That’s creepy and ridiculous. Causing a car accident just to get a pretty girl’s number? I’d have to have a rearview mirror with super zoom.

MEGAN pushes JOEY away while

MEGAN
Get away from me! Or I’m calling the cops.

MEGAN gets in her car and drives off.

JOEY
Hey Giovanni? It’s me again. Yep, gotta cancel tonight’s too.

LIGHTS OFF.

A loud car crash is heard. LIGHTS ON

JOEY
Holy shit! Are you okay?

JILL
I think so. I’ve never been in a car accident before.

JOEY
Yeah… me… neither.  Did you not see me slam my brakes there?

JILL
I don’t know it all happened so fast.

JOEY
Let’s look at the damage

JOEY moves uncomfortably close to JILL.

JOEY
Both cars have very minor damage. It’s almost like my rear bumper was custom designed not to damage in a collision or something.

JILL
Yeah, it’s like god was watching over both of us.

JOEY
Yes, from his rearview mirror with super zoom.

JILL
Huh?

JOEY
Oh nothing. Listen, the damage is minor. Let’s just exchange contact info, no need for insurance companies to be involved.

JILL
Yeah you’re right.

JILL takes out a notepad and writes out her contact information

JILL
Well I guess you’ll go to the mechanic in the next few days and then give me a call with the total damage sometime next week?

JOEY starts speaking in a slow, seductive voice.

JOEY
Actually, I was thinking dinner at Giovanni’s Steakhouse tonight, followed by some mini golf, and who knows what else…

JILL
You creep! Just because I hit your rear end doesn’t mean I’ll let you hit mine!

JILL gets in her car and drives off.

JOEY
Hey Giovanni? It’s me again. Yep, gotta cancel tonight’s too.

LIGHTS OFF.

A loud car crash is heard. LIGHTS ON

GARY
Holy shit! Are you okay?

JOEY
I think so. I’m usually pretty good at stopping on a dime… You have quite the talent.

GARY
Thanks. Let’s look at the damage

GARY and JOEY walk over to examine the rear end collision. GARY is very close and in JOEY’S personal space. He starts speaking in a slow, seductive voice.

GARY
Both cars have

GARY and JOEY
Very minor damage… It’s almost like my rear bumper… was custom designed… not to damage in a collision…

GARY
…or something.

JOEY
This is amazing! You probably want my number.

JOEY grabs a pad and starts writing his contact information.

GARY
Yes. I was thinking dinner at Samba Sushi tonight, followed by some mini golf, and who knows what else…

JOEY
Now I can understand some mini golf and who knows what else, but sushi? You fucking pervert!

JOEY pushes GARY away

LIGHTS OFF. END.

[/scrippet]

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