Category: Performance Critiques

A small show in a restaurant basement

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ab8L3BpxTC0

0m17s Say “you spend” before listing days of the week

1m30s Pause longer after “yeah”

2m38s Do the j-date joke before the suicide joke

4m04s Too much poking, and not in the same place, figure out a way not to over do it

4m54s It should be “Hi, how are you today, we’re just wondering, what’s your opinion on…”

5m48s Explain the difference between Facebook and Yelp more

7m22s Hit “tap dancing” harder

7m31s Needs a better punch line

8m12s Instead of “everyone” it should be “you all”

Overall: My good stuff did fairly well, my newer stuff still needs work.

An open mic

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1Bby6XlZCE

0m38s This is a joke strictly for open mics, it lets me see what the maximum level of laughs can be

1m48s Good job acknowledging the situation

2m59s Change rookie of the year to hall of fame

3m12s I don’t need the line “You don’t just put up these numbers”

3m48s Reword to “When did they stop teaching the fundamentals?”

4m11s Kill the sabermetrics stuff

6m14s Don’t use the word “joke”

6m38s Say “horrible” both with names and face

Overall: I was working new stuff out, which still need some work but I was really comfortable in acknowledging when things went off the deep end and making them funny.

A music and magic open mic

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXNirid-O3o

0m28s A failed improvised opening, next time, do one joke, then do the in the moment opening

3m23s Figures that the biggest laugh at a bar show is “they’re not all drunks”

5m32s Fred Astaire isn’t an effective punch line

7m37s Anytime there’s an inappropriate audience member or two, I should stop after every joke and address them with the lesson

9m15s Medicore tag of “not all the white ones are tight” try it once more then cut it

Part 2

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=090y4CP6dr4

0m18s Instead of “things” it should be “statements”

1m44s Don’t laugh after this joke

2m44s Try to reword it “babies are the new crack cocaine”

3m05s Say “fallopian tubes” not “tubes”

3m58s Be careful not to overdo the “that’s brilliant” statements, but occasionally it is funny

5m03s Don’t laugh after that punch line, unless it’s a really evil laugh

8m06s Strengthen this act out

8m37s This is where I should’ve turned to the kids and said, “Children, don’t hang out with priests”

Part 3

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hu_zc8lLDM4

0m12s I need to rewrite the names joke

1m36s Some audience members finished dinner, I’m pretty sure they weren’t leaving cause of me cause they weren’t listening anyway

3m05s I need to get into this joke better

4m30s I love that I actually started workshopping a joke for a minute

5m01s Pause after “rookie card”

5m26s It should be “dedication” not “determination”

5m51s Explain what Sabermetrics is

6m07s add “per million” after 19.2

Part 4

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvP208_CwaI

1m15s Don’t do a fake I’m done, just remember that closing bit

Overall: I did another 30 minute set, I was only planning on doing 10-15 so I kept checking my notes, mostly because I wanted to work out newer stuff. People weren’t listening the whole time, but it’s always nice to be on stage for a long time and to work stuff out.

Sunday writer’s mic

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtJSsTavCLY

0m18s I’m already really angry and worked up, I need to start this more calm then get excited

0m44s Less words here

1m03s Give more of a “what the fuck” look

1m22s Explain Sabermetrics

1m46s Deliver “everyone knows” like it’s more obvious

2m30s Getting sloppy with words, clean this up

3m10s Be calm on “DNA testing came in” and then get worked up on “and ruined the game!”

3m40s Don’t need the McDonald triad bit

4m28s Great line, doesn’t need two follow up lines

Overall: This is a brand new joke that’s currently 4 minutes, I need to cut it down to 2 minutes, but there’s a lot of potential.

Headlining a bar show in Staten Island for 12-15 people

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ra15EqIc1k

2m20s Kill the monocle joke

4m23s Good reaction to the interruption, and good job continuing the joke, although I could’ve gone into my “hitting on the audience” material…

4m37s That echo is killing me

5m40s It’s not the strongest punch line, kill it, or deliver it very differently

8m29s Nice improvised one liner

9m29s More emphasis on “know it isn’t”

Part 2

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qm3cMkE55ZI

5m43s That one liner didn’t work at all, but I still enjoyed it

6m44s I can move my hand like rubbing my stomach to make myself look fatter while delivering this

8m18s This line can sound more conversational

8m50s After “if anyone needs a fake diagnosis” I should look at a female audience member and say, “We should play doctor”

9m42s Change “Planned Parenthood” to “abortion clinic” to make it more general

Part 3

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHgcUzOkCxI

3m24s Hit the punch line of “can’t play tennis drunk” harder

4m41s Nice long pause before this line and great delivery

6m09s Instead of “when” say “while”

6m45s They may have pointed at each other, but I misinterpreted to make it funnier

7m27s Not sure I need this joke, it didn’t help that it got interrupted on the setup

8m43s Funny that I didn’t acknowledge the mess up at all

Part 4

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFmw_NMME9E

1m01s It should be “pervert” not “peed”

1m34s That’s a great line and a really good way of getting out of stuff when I cross the line

1m55s The guy had a Phillies shirt on

3m02s This was a charity show

3m30s First time I checked my set list, that’s 32 minutes without looking at notes, I’m happy

4m08s I need to develop the organic baby joke, it always gets a good response

5m28s Banter with the audience while looking at my list

Overall: I did 35 minutes and went 32 minutes without looking at my notes. Some jokes got bigger laughs than others, but this set was about being able to do thirty minutes in a row, remembering everything (I was only scheduled to do 30 minutes so I checked notes after 32 minutes, that’s a good lesson, prepare ten extra minutes of jokes) and having nobody walk out during my set (which is really easy when it’s at a bar show).