The 8pm show
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZNayt9JKbY
1m28s I should call them out for applauding for coke
3m04s Weird that I lost them on the Jehovah’s model joke
3m27s Choppy words on a punch line leads to few laughs
3m46s She needs different lines
5m32s Sell the “what the fuck” look more
5m45s The “awww” through me off a little
Overall: Very up and down. I started strong, lost them on Jesus swallowing, got them back on suicidal dating and missed with the second half of the Facebook joke
A late night prom show
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lc8FuuMenXo
0m16s Awkward start
1m18s No need to say “we found the coke heads” during a high school show
1m44s Try to look a little less miserable and occasionally smile
2m47s Even the bombing save didn’t get a big laugh
4m44s When that gets a groan, I’m in trouble
6m17s Add “cause” before “Jesus would’ve wanted”
6m58s Commit to the joke and figure out the name, don’t bail on an improvised line halfway through
8m29s Terrible ending
Overall: I pretty much bombed. I was working from behind by my awkward opening and never fully dug myself out of the hole. I need to figure out the first thing to say to a crowd when I get up there before I get into material. I think a “Thank you” can suffice, but I can’t go straight into a joke, it’s awkward.
The Friday 8pm show
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-1pn_E8kK0
2m38s Add “cause” before “Jesus would’ve wanted”
3m21s Get rid of “for son”
3m42s My mom’s dialogue here could be funnier
5m27s The checks are a dropping
6m54s Good job getting a laugh before getting off stage
Overall: Solid first 5 minutes then the checks dropped but I still went out on a laugh. The Jewel joke needs to be tighter.
The late night music and comedy mic
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAQ_pVbE5GA
1m52s Tighten “guys you feel lukewarm about” to one or two words
4m06s Get rid of the “remix” thing
7m38s That’s an awesome shut down line
8m36s Change the tag
Part 2
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ra2TkcSmXkg
2m25s I need the word “cause” before “Jesus would’ve wanted”
3m06s I don’t need “for son” at the end of the sentence
5m04s Change “just as much” to “more than”
Overall: Decent considering it was past 4am. And my stop talking line made me laugh when re-watching the video.
A feedback mic
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9H2Jlh1A_5s
0m38s Think of something else instead of French Fries
0m59s Get something shorter than “Guys you feel lukewarm about”
1m26s Try “You can come with scare-free orgasms”
1m52 I need less words for the punch than “play with fire”
1m59s Change the second example
2m56s This joke might not be worth keeping
Overall: Decent. The Fox News joke will be good when I get the right first two examples, the iPhone throw needs a little work, and the jogging bit might need to be cut.
