The Sunday writer’s mic
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7zNE8_yG2Y
1m42s Make the fast forwarding motion clearer
3m48s Make the premise clearer
4m03s Change “would” to “might”
4m33s “Retweet” should be the last word in the sentence
4m55s Change the order, rehab then crabs
Overall: Working out newer jokes, there’s potential but they need to be reworded a bit…
Going last on the 8pm show
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcTm8ER18nA
1m51s I could’ve added something like, “they’re like, we’re recovering coke heads, jerk”
3m30s Throw my arm out more on “shave you”
4m00s Change to “When’d you see Shrek?”
6m36s That level of laugh on the big punch line doesn’t warrant doing a bit for 2.5 minutes
9m04s I’m surprised that iHaitian didn’t get a laugh
Part 2
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lCfp6dXmCU
1m09s That’s a good one liner, I should use it more often
Overall: Solid but not amazing. The mobile adoption center bit needs work.
The 6pm show
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8R4O6T1tjI
2m00s And they’re alive
2m20s Milk the modeling for longer
2m44s Rephrase “would’ve wanted” to “wants”
5m48s I stepped on a laugh to do a save line, no wonder it didn’t work
Overall: Mediocre set, I should’ve started talking to them earlier on since material was hitting so-so.
The 8pm show
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGydzzUF3qc
0m32s More examples needed
1m59s I actually don’t like it
4m13s Don’t swivel side to side like that
5m55s These are all B laughs in a very strong set (up to this point), so this joke should be cut or fixed
8m31s Sound crazier on the act out
Part 2 – which I forgot to color correct
1m03s Try doing Yelp before Netflix and combine both into one joke/concept
2m56s I look very relaxed for having no idea what joke I’m gonna do next
3m30s Point before saying “this clip”
Overall: Extremely solid 14 minute set. Some jokesdidn’t hit as hard as others but I kept the audience with me the whole time.
A mic
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9eLTMf1PHM
0m48s Say “the remote control” not “a remote control”
2m47s Cut this part of the joke
Overall: Decent for a mic. The Facebook official joke has potential but needs to be reworked
