“The Comedy Bible” Quotes (2/3)

This is a continuation from yesterday’s quotes from The Comedy Bible by Judy Carter. 

  • “There are no funny ideas. It’s what you do with an idea that makes it funny. Steven Wright: “As an exercise I pick unfunny topics and see how I can make them funny.”” (172) 
     
  • “If you want to have a career as a comedy writer or performer, being funny isn’t enough. You have to have a unique point of view.” (179) 
     
  • “Mind Mapping topics: Write your topic in the middle of a page and draw a circle around it. Then quickly draw other balloons containing elements of this topic until your entire page is covered with words having to do with your topic. Then focus on each balloon and write offshoots containing the specifics of that topic. Don’t judge, just draw as quickly as you can.” (183) 
     
  • “If you try to make your act fit into a predetermined box you’ll end up limiting yourself. Instead, create the best material you can and let your persona evolve from that.” (189) 
     
  • “Honing Your Act:
    1.      On each card, circle one topic.
    2.      Make sure the topic is relatable.
    3.      Write an attitude word on each card.
    4.      Is that attitude expressed by any of the following words: stupid, weird, hard, bugs me, scary?
    5.      Does each topic have a premise that is written out?
    6.      Does that premise answer the attitude-topic question? (“Do you know what’s weird?)
    7.      Do most topics lead to an act out?
    8.      Does the act-out have the same cast of characters as the setup?
    9.      Does the act-out exaggerate the attitude?
    10.  After some act-outs, do you have a mix?
    11.  Do you follow the mix with another act-out?
    12.  Do you have a lot of hits on most topics (topic run)?
    13.  If you have a list of three items, is the third one a turn?” (191) 
     
  • “To get the spontaneity back into your material, picture what you are talking about and feel the attitude as if the event just happened and this is the first time you’re mentioning it.” (192) 
     
  • “There should never be even one moment when you are onstage and attitude-free. It’s the kiss of death because audiences respond to emotions, not words.” (195) 
     
  • “When a mishap occurs, such as the mike stand breaks, the lights go out, or there is a puff of smoke from the grassy knoll, acknowledge it. When you call the situation, it puts the audience at ease.” (198) 
     
  • “If it’s a small crowd, less than fifty people, talk to them because they’ll tend to laugh more in their heads than out loud. That’s especially true if they are spread out in a room. Involving the audience in a conversation reminds them that they aren’t watching TV – you can hear them, and it’s appropriate to laugh out loud.” (198) 
     
  • “Audience members can feel very uncomfortable when the comic talks to them. Most people in an audience do not want to be the center of attention. Therefore, try not to talk to one person immediately. Talk to the audience as a group, then maybe address a row, and then a table, and finally one person. This way you have slowly gained their trust as you worked your way down to one person.” (198) 
     
  • “I sit down and write crap for forty minutes. Everybody thinks that they have to write funny, every line. All you have to do is pick a subject and write about that and then pick another subject and write about that. I guarantee you that at the end of forty minutes, you will crank out a funny line because it takes forty minutes for your brain to click over from the dealing-with-life side to the creative side. Then go back to what you wrote and fix it. And the more writing sessions you have, the quicker your creativity will click in.” – Chris Titus (204) 
     
  • “Technique can carry you only so far. Passion and soul have to take you the rest of the way.” (211) 
     
  • “Don’t write in the past tense, such as, “I was standing on the street corner and I saw this woman.” It should be, “I’m standing on this street corner and I see this woman.” When you write in the present  tense, your whole emotional system shifts to the inside of the story. If you work in the past tense, not only do you distance yourself from the material, but you distance the audience from it as well.” (219) 
     
  • “What often keeps a script from becoming great is that the writer is married to things that are just OK. Just as in writing stand-up, you must be willing to dump not only the things that don’t work but also the things that are just adequate. Adequate won’t get you a job. Only brilliance will.” (261?)
     
  • “Not every line can be a joke, but you can punch up even the straightest of lines doing what the pros call adding color. That means saying something in a clever way rather than a straightforward one. So, instead of, “Where were you? Getting a manicure?” your character would say,” Where were you? Getting those claws filed?” Adding color is an offbeat way of saying the same thing.” (261) 
     
  • “Carter’s 3-step comedy business strategy.
    Step 1: Get good.
    Step 2: Get noticed.
    Step 3: Get paid.” (275) 
     
  • “Putting yourself out in the marketplace before you’re ready not only can hurt your career, it can even prevent you from ever having one.” (275) 
     
  • “Many people don’t know who veteran stand-up Paula Poundstone is, but almost everyone recognizes the name of penis slicer Lorena Bobbitt. Cutting off someone’s penis is quick and easy. Spending years perfecting an act, writing scripts, and waiting three hours to do three minutes at an open mike is long and hard. So, if fame and fortune are your only goals, start a pyramid scheme, live with O.J., rob a bank.” (276)

The last batch of quotes are coming tomorrow. If you want me to try to explain any of the quotes above in more detail, please let me know via the comments.

“The Comedy Bible” Quotes (1/3)

I just finished typing out quotes I underlined from The Comedy Bible by Judy Carter. I read this about 3 months into comedy but didn’t get a chance to type up what I previously underlined until now. Judy is way way way way way more experienced than me, so hopefully you’ll find some use in the messages I found important.

I highly recommend reading this book multiple times and following the exercises if you’re serious about becoming a comic and want to understand the basics (and some of the not so basics). Also keep in mind, that a lot of Judy’s tips are basic and formulaic, and this is just a starting point. But you have to know and understand the rules before you break them.

  • “What it takes to make it as a comic or as a comedy writer is a combination of talent and craft.” (21)
  • “Comedy performers and writers can no longer afford the fantasy of waiting to be discovered. Instead they need to discover themselves and become masters of their craft, so that when opportunity knocks they are ready and able to deliver the goods.” (22)
  • “Normal people express their sense of humor by memorizing jokes; comics transform their life experiences into punch lines and write their own jokes.” (34)
  • “The more pages you have, the more likely you are to hit on some truly inventive stuff… it’s a numbers game. The more darts you throw, the more likely you are to hit on something.” (38)
  • “Brave people are not unafraid. What distinguishes them is that they act despite the fear.” (46)
    This should have been mentioned as part of my post about stage fright.
  • “After ten years of teaching, I’ve learned that it’s not always the person with the most talent who succeeds – it’s the one with the most endurance.” (51)
  • “No one is a natural – you have to work at being a natural.” -Greg Proops (71)
  • “You might have a funny idea for a joke, a great topic, a funny character, but without attitude it will remain just that – a funny idea.” (72)
  • “Each sitcom can be reduced to a single-line premise.” (76)
  • “Get specific because funny is in the details.” (76)
  • “Thinking in terms of what is weird, stupid, scary, or hard, rather than thinking about what is funny, will free your creative process.” (78)
  • “Chances are if you are using the words I, me, or my in the premise, it’s too self-absorbed and won’t interest the audience. Start general and then get to something specific about yourself.” (78)
  • “Comedy writing is an intense investigation into what it means to be a human being – not what it means to be you.” (79)
  • “A premise is not a description of what happened. It’s a cut-to-the-chase, get-to-the-point, original observation.” (79)
  • “Comedy isn’t meant to be read. It’s meant to be performed. The laughs are in the execution of the act-outs.” (99)
  • “There was such a difference from the A rooms to the B rooms. I think a lot of the young comics picked up bad habits watching B room comics.” (101)
  • “Creativity is not about picking funny topics, it’s about making ordinary topics funny.”
  • “To connect with an audience, comics and comedy writers need to find those topics that they are truly and deeply passionate about and that other people can relate to. These become their authentic topics. For stand-up comics, these topics form the core of their act and shape their persona. For writers, these topics form a point of view and shape their voice.” (103)
  • “No matter how relatable your topic is, if it doesn’t resonate with you, it probably won’t resonate with your audience either. Passion about a topic can’t be faked. The audience can sense if your topic is authentic for you or if it isn’t.” (104)
  • “It’s a kind of trade-off: bad for your life equates to good for your act.” (108)
  • “Premises are a combination of being truthful and relatable.” (122)
  • “Do ten or fifteen minutes up front of likeable material and then go to your vile self.” – Greg Proops (140)
  • “A comedy disconnect happens when the comic tries to be funny rather than communicate ideas. Reality is sacrificed in a desperate attempt to get laughs at all costs.” (146)
  • “Rehearsal tips:
    – Never rehearse your act without emotion
    – Always picture what you are talking about. Visualizing who and what you are talking about makes material more dynamic and immediate
    – Don’t practice in front of a mirror or video camera. You won’t be looking at yourself when you perform, so don’t do it while you rehearse.” (154)
  • “Professional comics want to know why a joke didn’t work and how to fix it. They’re willing to expend the time and energy necessary to perfect their craft and solve the problem. Comic wanna-bes, on the other hand, generally go, “I hate myself, let’s get drunk,” when a joke doesn’t work. Pros don’t take bad jokes all that personally – it’s about the material. Amateurs take it all too seriously and make it about themselves or about the audience – “They really sucked.” (166)
  • “Creating comedy is sometimes a matter of inspiration, but mostly it’s a matter of perspiration – in the form of constantly creating new material.” (171)

More quotes coming tomorrow. If you want me to try to explain any of the quotes in more detail, please let me know via the comments.

Ten Steps to Become a Great Emcee (Host)

Fewer and fewer comedians want to emcee anymore but emceeing skills train you to become very funny on your feet, handle hecklers and sound more conversational. All skills you’ll need before you can headline. With that in mind, here’s some MCing tips based on my personal experience and numerous conversations with other professional comedians.

  1. Come in with super high energy. You want to get the audience’s energy as high as possible.
  2. Start by saying “Hi everyone, we have a great show for you tonight.” Make sure you’re smiling and that you sound genuine.
  3. Get the audience to clap again with something like “Clap it up for yourselves” or  “Who’s happy it’s a Friday night?”Unless you get an amazing response, say “You can do better, let’s try that again.” It (subconsciously) communicates to the audience that you’re in total control.
  4. Go into crowd work.Either ask the standard questions like “Where are you from?”, “What do you do for work”, etc or try to come up with more interesting questions (in advance). Try to make jokes about their answers, or joke about the fact that their answers are boring. Don’t panic if some of your improvised joke attempts miss.
  5. Don’t talk to more than 3 tables in a row, or people will get bored and/or hate you.
  6. Do a couple of your jokes.
  7. Repeat step 4 through 6 as needed, establish the pattern.Alternately, you can open with a quick joke or two (not longer than a minute) and then go into crowd work. This works better on shows where the audience is unsure it’ll be a good show. The best is if you have crowd work questions that will lead into your material. Example: “Anybody married in here? Oh yeah, how long? When’s the divorce? Just kidding. But I’ve actually been married for twenty years.”
  8. Get a final round of applause, then bring out the next comic.Example: “You guys are great. We have an awesome show. Are you ready for your next comedian?” Make sure the comedian’s name is the last part of their introduction. You want to say “This next comedian has been on Comedy Central please put your hands together for John Doe.” Do not say “Your next comedian is John Doe, he’s been on Comedy Central.” BONUS: This is a personal pet peeve of mine: Don’t ask “Who’s ready to get this show started?” or “Are you ready for your first comedian?” The show has already been in progress since you got up there.
  9. When you come on stage between each comic, make sure to maintain a super high level of energy to keep the audience in their seats and excited about the next comic.First say, “how about another round of applause for [comic’s name].” Then either go into a joke or two, or just introduce the next comedian. If there are more than 3 comedians on the show, I don’t recommend doing time between the first and second comedian, so that the audience doesn’t think you’ll be slowing down the show after each performer. BONUS: If you can come up with a quick one or two line joke based on the last act’s closing bit, that’s a great way to keep the show feeling connected and as one. Example: If the last comic said something like “Then I passed out in an alley, and woke up without a wallet,” you can come up there and say “So I was in an alley last night, going through Joe’s wallet…”
  10. Most important, the emcee has to be a person.You can’t talk at people, you have to talk to them. (This applies to regular stand up spots as well, but especially if you’re the host.) If you don’t get many laughs as a host, but your energy is positive and you’re smiling the whole time, the audience is relaxed and engaged and the first comedian does well, you did your job (even if you don’t feel great about it).

Would you rather have someone else to host for you? Hire me. I’ve hosted hundreds of show including at The Lincoln Center.

Wanna try stand-up comedy yourself? I teach a Comedy Class in NYC. I also do private one-on-one comedy coaching (in-person or via Zoom).

More Stand-Up Comedy Tips:

Performance Critique 31: Feb 18

I hosted an open mic. There were 5 audience members 3 of which sat 30 feet away from me all the way to the left, and the other 2 set 30 feet away all the way to the right. The audience was really good and attentive though.

 

0m27s When things are malfunctioning, just play along and don’t make a huge deal of it.

1m37s Crowd work can be hit or miss, I try to trust my instincts, but I’m still new, so it’s not always hits.

1m40s Proof that if you keep talking, something funny will eventually come out. This isn’t always true though.

3m50s Even with video, I’m not sure if I’m giving the same look every time. If I’m not, then it’s easy to figure out why it doesn’t always get laughs. If I do the same look every time, and it doesn’t always get laughs, something else is up, but I’m not sure what. I think I have the same tone on this joke every time.

4m42s I didn’t say “since my comedy career is going places” sarcastically enough. I should also change the sentence structure to: “I’ve been trying to come up with a good website name, because my comedy career is going places.”

6m10s Take a longer pause between “that takes” and “tubes” 

6m54s Proof that if you keep talking, you’ll eventually remember what joke you wanted to do next. 

7m45s Do more of an “act out” for the “that was my twin” line 

8m10s Everything after the twin line needs to get cut. 

8m13s This is an example of what to do when nobody laughs. 

9m22s Hold that look for two more seconds, trust that the audience will laugh 

I decided to do two more quick joke between comics.

 

0m39s Shouldn’t have my hand tucked in. I need to act this bit out stronger and a little over the top.

Overall: I thought I did pretty well with my crowd work and I trust this crowd to know what to remove the unneccessary bits from my facial recognition joke. 

5 Tips for Overcoming Stage Fright

A lot of people are scared of speaking in front of large groups. And that’s when you’re not even trying to get them to laugh. At one of the open mics I go to, a newer comedian asked me how I overcame being nervous on stage. (My hands used to shake while holding the mic and I would never pause after punch lines.)

Tip #1: There’s no real shortcut, getting over stage fright just comes with reps. The more you’re on stage, the less nervous you get. If you can get comfortable with complete silence (when neither you nor the audience is talking) you’ll be well on your way.

Tip #2: Practice deep breathing for five minutes before getting on stage. Focusing on taking deep breaths helps calm the adrenaline and still the mind. Picturing your performancein your mind and hearing the laughs and pauses works well in conjunction with breathing, as long as you can remain positive.

Tip #3: Read “The Inner Game of Tennis” this will help you with most of everything you do in life, not just getting comfortable on stage. The basic summary of the book is to turn off your conscious, questioning everything mind and to trust your subconscious. This book is basically about how to get in, and stay in, “the zone”. I highly recommend reading it even if you have no intention of getting on stage (or playing tennis).

Tip #4: Use external mood alterers. A pro comic I know said he uses alcohol as his crutch and has been doing it for over 10 years. He mentioned that the first few times he did comedy he was sober and wasn’t funny, so he started drinking, felt more at ease and got funny. He said many pro comics he knows use alcohol, pot or cocaine to get into a good state of mind before getting on stage. I don’t recommend this strategy, as you never know when an entire state can run dry on coke. This tip may also be an issue if you’re overcoming stage fright to present at a work conference at 9am…

Tip #5: Channel the nervous energy in a positive way. Being nervous in and of itself isn’t bad, it’s what you do with the nervousness. There was a recent ESPN article about Tiger Woods who was quoted as saying, “The day I’m not nervous is the day I quit… Of course I’ll be nervous. That’s the greatest thing about it, just to feel that rush.” If the greatest golfer still gets nervous (and he doesn’t even have to speak!), it’s okay if you get feel it too. Just try to turn it into something you can use while speaking.

In conclusion, accept that you’re going to have some nerves. Acknowledge that it’s natural, know you’ve gotten through it before (unless it’s your first time on stage) and this should already make you less nervous. Then when the adrenaline occurs, either turn that nervousness into a positive, or do your best to ignore it.

Wanna try stand-up comedy yourself? I teach a Comedy Class in New York City. I also do private one-on-one comedy coaching (in person or via Zoom).

More Stand-Up Comedy Tips:

Verified by ExactMetrics