Posts Tagged ‘sketch writing’

48 Hour Film Project: Richmond 2010

August 24th, 2010 | By Ben in Comedy | No Comments »

Here’s my second go around at doing a 48 Hour Film Project. I’m quite proud of this one, even if it didn’t win any awards. If you like the film, please share it with friends.

Cholestmore, Not Less

April 6th, 2010 | By Ben in Comedy | No Comments »

These one minute spoofs are inspired by the many pharmaceutical commercials out there today. There’s four parts, and each can be viewed separately but there is a natural order that I’ve put them in below. I co-wrote this script, filmed and did all the editing. Feedback welcome.

Meet Matt The Spokesperson Avenger:

Matt Does Not Make Shareholders Happy:

Matt’s Available Ladies:

Matt Will Not Be Vacationing In Africa:

Meet Matt Spokesperson Avenger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVpb0wHi0Po
Matt Does Not Make Shareholders Happy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FATOb6KXbmk
Matt’s Available Ladies: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqxpcP-UHBs
Matt Will Not Be Vacationing In Africa: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0S0XUk0B2k

Hi-Tech Comedy: Ali Farahnakian

February 19th, 2010 | By Ben in Interviews | No Comments »
Today I’m honored to be interviewing Ali Farahnakian. Ali is the founder and owner of [LINK www.thepit-nyc.com] The Peoples Improv Theater (aka The PIT) and [link www.SimpleStudiosNYC.com] Simple Studios. In addition to running a theatre and school Ali is a teacher/actor/writer/comedian. He was a founding member of the Upright Citizens Brigade, a writer on Saturday Night Live and has appeared on all the Law and Order’s, All My Children, Late Night with Conan O’Brien, and 30 Rock.
1. How are you using the internet / social media to promote your personal career?
Honestly, I’m not using it as much as I should. I don’t have a website, I probably should. I don’t do the twitter, I probably should. I wish I had someone who was my tech person. I think folks at a higher level probably have people. And some folks coming up now, grew up with technology, understand it.
I recently started on Facebook because a friend from high school sent me photos of his kids and I had to join Facebook to see them. I didn’t realize I’d get inundated with friend requests. However, since I’ve joined good things have happened. I’ve connected with people. I think I should be more earnest about using it because it’s a great tool. When I first started doing comedy, you called people. That’s how you told people about your show. You put up posters. When I did “Word of Mouth” in 2000, the whole show was no posters, no programs, it was all through me calling or emailing people and word of mouth. I still think that’s one of the best ways: call people or email them personally. People are so inundated with requests, you can just check them and go through them and click, click, click and they become white noise. You need to find a way to make it personal.
I heard a story once about how when the internet first came out, Steve Jobs was asked how to explain the internet to people, and he said, “When humans are placed against other animals in their ability to traverse large expanses, humans come in 31st and the condor comes in 1st. But when you put a human on a bicycle, they are 3 times as fast as the condor. That’s the internet, a bicycle for the mind.” The internet lets you get on your bike and go, “Hey would you like to come to my show?” It lets you get in touch with a lot more people than you’d normally be able to get in touch with.
However, if you really want to get people to come see something, I still don’t think there’s anything like the human touch.
2. Have you noticed the payoff yet?
There’s this website called “Linked In”. Someone said, “Do you want to join?” I said yes, because I try to say yes to things. A friend of mine from DC who I took my first writing class in 1990 reconnected with me on it, then he said, “Hey they want someone to teach writing and improv at the DC Improv.” And he connected me to the DC Improv because of Linked In, and I’ve been going there twice a year to teach writing  and Improv workshops. Social media has helped me go to different cities and teach, which I really enjoy doing. When I did a show, “Extemporaneous Ali,” it was all through email and Facebook. I did 3 shows and they all sold out.
Nowadays, I’m mostly running Simple Studios and The PIT. I do a show every Wednesday night at 10pm with “The Faculty” of The PIT that always sells out. So for me there’s nothing to be gained to send out a show invite. And I’ve been doing comedy for twenty years, anyone who wants to see me has seen me. There’s not as much of that “eye of the tiger” that there once was.  At this point I do it for the love, I enjoy teaching, performing and cultivating small businesses.
3. Speaking of The PIT, how are you using the internet and social media to promote your theatre?
Social media is being used in both businesses, I’m just not the one overseeing it. We have a webmaster, someone doing twitter, Facebook and Google Ad Words. Whatever is out there, we do all that. It definitely benefits us. At the end of the day, what has gotten The PIT and Simple Studios to where they are is word of mouth. It’s about maintaining quality control of our product, which is our classes and shows. So when people come and they have sacrificed blood and treasure to take your classes or to use your space, you want to make sure they’re getting the best experience possible.
Twitter helps for Simple Studios, because if we have a room available in the evening, we twitter it and it sells out. Or for example, Fridays were a day we weren’t getting the same amount of traffic, so we changed our Friday deal to “Freaky Fridays” and made all the rooms bookable at walk in rates and all the rooms sold out. I don’t know how else you could do that without taking an ad out in the newspaper. Having a website, Twitter, email lists and Facebook allows all of that.
Without the internet I don’t know how you’d promote the theatre. In Chicago, they did it with phone calls and leaving messages on answering machines. People talked to each other more, you actually read posters.
4. Do you think the PIT would be as successful as it is without the internet?
It would depend on what city it’s in. if it was New York, I don’t think it’d be as successful as quickly. Things happen a lot faster with the internet. If you have something that’s good and you put in time and energy and believe what you’re doing, it just gets to people faster. It catches like wildfire. People can go on the internet, see your website, find out about shows and classes.
However, at the end of the day, people still call before they sign up. With Simple Studios you still can’t book via the internet because we want to maintain a human touch. Someone may want it every Wednesday from 7 to 10, but this Wednesday they need it 7 to 9. At this stage, it’s easier for us to make sure there’s a human touch with booking the space.
5. How do you think digital tools will change comedy?
The internet is making the world more flat. It allows people in the middle of nowhere with nothing to create videos and movies that would normally require an editing system and cameras. It will allow those people to create content like anyone else. It will level the playing field. In comedy, there’s live versions and internet/movie/television versions. In stand up, you’ll always be getting up with some kind of mic. You’re still gonna be one person talking to people. In improv, you’ll still be one group of people talking to people. Digital tools are making it easier for people to make content, I personally don’t have a TV at home. I watch all my TV on my laptop. That would’ve been unheard of five years ago. Do I watch less? I don’t know. I don’t watch shows with the regularity I’d watch when I had a TV, but now I know I can just go there and watch it when I want.
6. What do you think about posting videos of your performances online?
I think whatever benefits the performer. Why not? An artist is really doing what they do for an audience of seven or eight, and everything else is cake. Whoever else benefits great. It doesn’t matter what level it is. For me it’s hard for me to watch a lot of stuff on the internet. I don’t have that kind of time to be looking at videos. But why not? Like I say about my writing classes, it gives you a reason to write and place to bring your writing to have it looked at by someone who’s been there. If posting your videos helps you go out there and do shows and create a record of it for yourself, then great. Everybody’s technique and craft is different, so whatever works for you.
7. You used to do a show called “Virtual Reality” that used interactive multimedia to put the audience in different scenes. More and more comedians are using projectors and visuals as part of their act. Do you think this is a trend that will really take off, or remain the domain of a few specific comedians? (Dmitri Martin, “The PowerPoint Comedian” and “The Stand Up Economist” to name a few.”
You can’t do something that’s not you. I don’t think it will become a trend. You can’t become a guitar comic if you don’t play the guitar. In 1972 there were 50 great stand ups in the country. In 1992 there were 50,000 stands up in the country, but still only 50 great stand ups. There’s only gonna be the same number of people at that level, but there will be more people trying. I really believe if you want to teach and perform you can do it. You may not be able to do it in New York, you might need to go to a smaller town. But if you really want to, you can, you just have to find the right market or level that accommodates your level of talent and work ethic.
8. How much information do you tend to share on the social networks?
I’m at the base minimum. I put a picture of me up there, a date of birth, I don’t share much. If I had someone who was my technology consultant, I’d do it. I focus on The PIT, The Studios and life. I think for those who can and know how to do it it’s a great tool.
9. How closely do you monitor what people say about The PIT on YELP, Twitter, etc? How important do you think that stuff is?
I don’t monitor it at all. I’m not one for personally going to message boards or chat rooms. I have built this living in the world of bricks and mortar. I believe you do good shows, good classes, treat people with respect and dignity and create a nice community. I’ve come from different communities, tennis, second city, fraternities. To me, not having come up in a world of computers, I’m more accustomed to being out there and playing. So there’s only so much I can do with looking at the online stuff. I know there are message boards, time is limited for me. If I’m doing something theatre or rehearsal space related I’d rather be teaching, performing or dealing with the details of running a small business.
10. Any last thoughts?
I’m just amazed you’ve been typing this up on a laptop this whole time. That’s amazing. Knowledge is power and tools are power and using those tools can benefit any business. To some degree, with people looking to have a comedy career, or a life in the world of comedy, they are their own individual businesses. It’s a matter of, “How do I get the word out about my business?” At the end of the day, the American public (and further) decides if they want to buy your product. You can create an airline and have it fail even if you had planes and pilots. Or you can create an airline that does very well and gets profitable.
Comedy is like anything else, just because you have the tools, if the product isn’t there at the end of the day, the product will deteriorate. I think more people get shots than they used to, and are able to make things more than they were before. Which is fine if it’s artistic and making yourself sane, but if it’s making money off it, someone has to deem it worth enough that they’ll benefit from paying for it.
Currently, the only way to generate revenues in media is: advertising dollars, angel funds or ticket sales. That’s the only way to make a living doing this right now. I think moving forward, the barrier between the advertising dollars and having a middle man of either a network or a studio will change. The advertising dollars may go more directly towards the people creating the content. You have a great website, you have comedy content, a company comes to you and says “we want to give you money to put our ad on your website”. You’ve cut out the middle man. Otherwise, you go to a network, do your show for them and they get you advertisers during your half hour or hour show.
At the end of the day, The PIT is built on 3 C’s. Craft, community and career. Work on your craft your career will come. Work on your community, your career will come. But if you just work on your career, you won’t have a craft or community at the end of the day. Nobody climbs mountains alone. You need other people. It’s a real team effort.

Today I’m honored to be interviewing Ali Farahnakian. Ali is the founder and owner of The People’s Improv Theater (aka The PIT) and Simple Studios. In addition to running a theatre and school, Ali is a teacher/actor/writer/comedian. He was a founding member of the Upright Citizens Brigade, a writer on Saturday Night Live and has appeared on all the Law and Order’s, All My Children, Late Night with Conan O’Brien, and 30 Rock.

Aliheadshot1. How are you using the internet / social media to promote your personal career?

Honestly, I’m not using it as much as I should. I don’t have a website, I probably should. I don’t do the twitter, I probably should. I wish I had someone who was my tech person. I think folks at a higher level probably have people. And some folks coming up now, grew up with technology, understand it.

I recently started on Facebook because a friend from high school sent me photos of his kids and I had to join Facebook to see them. I didn’t realize I’d get inundated with friend requests. However, since I’ve joined good things have happened. I’ve connected with people. I think I should be more earnest about using it because it’s a great tool. When I first started doing comedy, you called people. That’s how you told people about your show. You put up posters. When I did “Word of Mouth” in 2000, the whole show was no posters, no programs, it was all through me calling or emailing people and word of mouth. I still think that’s one of the best ways: call people or email them personally. People are so inundated with requests, you can just check them and go through them and click, click, click and they become white noise. You need to find a way to make it personal.

I heard a story once about how when the internet first came out, Steve Jobs was asked how to explain the internet to people, and he said, “When humans are placed against other animals in their ability to traverse large expanses, humans come in 31st and the condor comes in 1st. But when you put a human on a bicycle, they are 3 times as fast as the condor. That’s the internet, a bicycle for the mind.” The internet lets you get on your bike and go, “Hey would you like to come to my show?” It lets you get in touch with a lot more people than you’d normally be able to get in touch with.

However, if you really want to get people to come see something, I still don’t think there’s anything like the human touch.

2. Have you noticed the payoff yet?

There’s this website called “Linked In”. Someone said, “Do you want to join?” I said yes, because I try to say yes to things. A friend of mine from DC who I took my first writing class in 1990 reconnected with me on it, then he said, “Hey they want someone to teach writing and improv at the DC Improv.” And he connected me to the DC Improv because of Linked In, and I’ve been going there twice a year to teach writing  and Improv workshops. Social media has helped me go to different cities and teach, which I really enjoy doing. When I did a show, “Extemporaneous Ali,” it was all through email and Facebook. I did 3 shows and they all sold out.

Nowadays, I’m mostly running Simple Studios and The PIT. I do a show every Wednesday night at 10pm with “The Faculty” of The PIT that always sells out. So for me there’s nothing to be gained to send out a show invite. And I’ve been doing comedy for twenty years, anyone who wants to see me has seen me. There’s not as much of that “eye of the tiger” that there once was.  At this point I do it for the love, I enjoy teaching, performing and cultivating small businesses.

3. Speaking of The PIT, how are you using the internet and social media to promote your theatre?

Social media is being used in both businesses, I’m just not the one overseeing it. We have a webmaster, someone doing twitter, Facebook and Google Ad Words. Whatever is out there, we do all that. It definitely benefits us. At the end of the day, what has gotten The PIT and Simple Studios to where they are is word of mouth. It’s about maintaining quality control of our product, which is our classes and shows. So when people come and they have sacrificed blood and treasure to take your classes or to use your space, you want to make sure they’re getting the best experience possible.

Twitter helps for Simple Studios, because if we have a room available in the evening, we twitter it and it sells out. Or for example, Fridays were a day we weren’t getting the same amount of traffic, so we changed our Friday deal to “Freaky Fridays” and made all the rooms bookable at walk in rates and all the rooms sold out. I don’t know how else you could do that without taking an ad out in the newspaper. Having a website, Twitter, email lists and Facebook allows all of that.

Without the internet I don’t know how you’d promote the theatre. In Chicago, they did it with phone calls and leaving messages on answering machines. People talked to each other more, you actually read posters.

4. Do you think the PIT would be as successful as it is without the internet?

It would depend on what city it’s in. if it was New York, I don’t think it’d be as successful as quickly. Things happen a lot faster with the internet. If you have something that’s good and you put in time and energy and believe what you’re doing, it just gets to people faster. It catches like wildfire. People can go on the internet, see your website, find out about shows and classes.

However, at the end of the day, people still call before they sign up. With Simple Studios you still can’t book via the internet because we want to maintain a human touch. Someone may want it every Wednesday from 7 to 10, but this Wednesday they need it 7 to 9. At this stage, it’s easier for us to make sure there’s a human touch with booking the space.

5. How do you think digital tools will change comedy?

The internet is making the world more flat. It allows people in the middle of nowhere with nothing to create videos and movies that would normally require an editing system and cameras. It will allow those people to create content like anyone else. It will level the playing field. In comedy, there’s live versions and internet/movie/television versions. In stand up, you’ll always be getting up with some kind of mic. You’re still gonna be one person talking to people. In improv, you’ll still be one group of people talking to people. Digital tools are making it easier for people to make content, I personally don’t have a TV at home. I watch all my TV on my laptop. That would’ve been unheard of five years ago. Do I watch less? I don’t know. I don’t watch shows with the regularity I’d watch when I had a TV, but now I know I can just go there and watch it when I want.

6. What do you think about posting videos of your performances online?

I think whatever benefits the performer. Why not? An artist is really doing what they do for an audience of seven or eight, and everything else is cake. Whoever else benefits great. It doesn’t matter what level it is. For me it’s hard for me to watch a lot of stuff on the internet. I don’t have that kind of time to be looking at videos. But why not? Like I say about my writing classes, it gives you a reason to write and place to bring your writing to have it looked at by someone who’s been there. If posting your videos helps you go out there and do shows and create a record of it for yourself, then great. Everybody’s technique and craft is different, so whatever works for you.

7. You used to do a show called “Virtual Reality” that used interactive multimedia to put the audience in different scenes. More and more comedians are using projectors and visuals as part of their act. Do you think this is a trend that will really take off?

You can’t do something that’s not you. I don’t think it will become a trend. You can’t become a guitar comic if you don’t play the guitar. In 1972 there were 50 great stand ups in the country. In 1992 there were 50,000 stands up in the country, but still only 50 great stand ups. There’s only gonna be the same number of people at that level, but there will be more people trying. I really believe if you want to teach and perform you can do it. You may not be able to do it in New York, you might need to go to a smaller town. But if you really want to, you can, you just have to find the right market or level that accommodates your level of talent and work ethic.

8. How much information do you tend to share on the social networks?

I’m at the base minimum. I put a picture of me up there, a date of birth, I don’t share much. If I had someone who was my technology consultant, I’d do it. I focus on The PIT, The Studios and life. I think for those who can and know how to do it it’s a great tool.

9. How closely do you monitor what people say about The PIT on YELP, Twitter, etc? How important do you think that stuff is?

I don’t monitor it at all. I’m not one for personally going to message boards or chat rooms. I have built this living in the world of bricks and mortar. I believe you do good shows, good classes, treat people with respect and dignity and create a nice community. I’ve come from different communities, tennis, second city, fraternities. To me, not having come up in a world of computers, I’m more accustomed to being out there and playing. So there’s only so much I can do with looking at the online stuff. I know there are message boards, time is limited for me. If I’m doing something theatre or rehearsal space related I’d rather be teaching, performing or dealing with the details of running a small business.

10. Any last thoughts?

I’m just amazed you’ve been typing this up on a laptop this whole time. That’s amazing. Knowledge is power and tools are power and using those tools can benefit any business. To some degree, with people looking to have a comedy career, or a life in the world of comedy, they are their own individual businesses. It’s a matter of, “How do I get the word out about my business?” At the end of the day, the American public (and further) decides if they want to buy your product. You can create an airline and have it fail even if you had planes and pilots. Or you can create an airline that does very well and gets profitable.

Comedy is like anything else, just because you have the tools, if the product isn’t there at the end of the day, the product will deteriorate. I think more people get shots than they used to, and are able to make things more than they were before. Which is fine if it’s artistic and making yourself sane, but if it’s making money off it, someone has to deem it worth enough that they’ll benefit from paying for it.

Currently, the only way to generate revenues in media is: advertising dollars, angel funds or ticket sales. That’s the only way to make a living doing this right now. I think moving forward, the barrier between the advertising dollars and having a middle man of either a network or a studio will change. The advertising dollars may go more directly towards the people creating the content. You have a great website, you have comedy content, a company comes to you and says “we want to give you money to put our ad on your website”. You’ve cut out the middle man. Otherwise, you go to a network, do your show for them and they get you advertisers during your half hour or hour show.

At the end of the day, The PIT is built on 3 C’s. Craft, community and career. Work on your craft your career will come. Work on your community, your career will come. But if you just work on your career, you won’t have a craft or community at the end of the day. Nobody climbs mountains alone. You need other people. It’s a real team effort.

Sketch Comedy Format: Superhero

October 26th, 2009 | By Ben in Comedy | No Comments »

Another common sketch format is the Superhero sketch.

Starting notes:

- This is like the older super hero movies of the 50’s and 60’s (think original Batman)
- Instead of a big super power, give the hero a very small super power
- Every super hero has a sidekick with an even smaller but related power
- Every hero should have a super villain that’s the exact opposite of the super hero
- The fighting doesn’t have to be physical
- Try to have specifics about the characters in every single line, each line should push the sketch forward

The Parts of the Superhero Sketch

Scene 1
Similar to a commercial, two people are having a problem and they ask, “can anyone help us?” The Superhero comes in and says “I’ll save you.” Here, the audience should find out whether the townspeople love or hate the hero.

Scene 2
Announcer explains the origin of the superhero. The stage blacked out, as it is being setup for the next scene, so use the mic. When in doubt, something generic like falling into toxic waste works as simple explanation. This scene mostly serves to buy time.

Scene 3
The Superhero and his sidekick is hanging out talking about a previous adventure they had (not the one from Scene 1). This establishes the relationship between superhero and sidekick: Some options are: a) sidekick idolizes the hero b) sidekick works hand in hand with the hero or c) sidekick hates the hero

Scene 4
The super villain enacts his dastardly plan. Generic plans like rob a bank, destroy the world, or kidnap someone important work as the characters are what makes this sketch funny. The Mayor asks for help, the hero appears, the villain and hero lobby back and forth until the hero is knocked down for the count. This is where the hero is at his lowest point.

Scene 5
Announcer says “oh no, the hero is down for the count. Will he return? Find out after the break.” Commercial break (insert commercial sketch here to make the show flow better). After the break the announcer says “when we left off, our hero was in trouble.”

Scene 6
Hero finds something to get out of trap, or sidekick helps him. Hero finds villain, fights him and wins. Mayor or whoever congratulates hero on saving the day. Hero says cheesy pun and  everyone laughs.

Scene 7
The announcer says “stay tuned for next time when…” and adds about 10 seconds of possible future plot. Characters can appear on stage to act it out.

SNL Example:

(The best I could find anyway, this format isn’t as recognizable as others)

Ben’s Example:

Click below to download a super hero sketch I wrote.

(My plugin for displaying the script wasn’t working right this time.)

Ben Rosenfeld – BEARWOLF – Hero Sketch Example – BigBenComedy.com

FRAT BOY 1
Damm bro! You just chugged a fourth of liquor
FRAT BOY 2
I know bro! I’m awesome
FRAT BOY 1
Yeah… but that was the last of the booze. I’m starting to sober up and Katie isn’t looking as good as she did thirty minutes ago.
FRAT BOY 2
Just turn down the lights
FRAT BOY 1
Dude this isn’t funny, what are we gonna do? I need stronger goggles! I need alcohol!
FRAT BOY 2
Shit, you’re right, but all the stores are closed. I don’t know what to do
Enter BEARWOLF
BEARWOLF
Is you out of alcohol? I fix this dilemma.
BEARWOLF takes out vodka and gives FRAT BOY 1 three straight shots.
BEARWOLF
There you are. You make good love with Katie now. Don’t forget, when alcohol runs dry. You call me — Bearwolf. I am Half bear. Half wolf. All vodka!
FRAT BOY1 and FRAT BOY 2
Wow! Thanks Bearwolf. You’re our new hero.
EXT. – NIGHT – EMPTY STAGE
ANNOUNCER
Twenty years ago, Boris was just another drunk Russian is Siberia. But one fateful night, he fell into a Chernobyl nuclear puddle. When the vodka mixed with his blood, he became Bearwolf. Now, the vodka never ends.
EXT. – DAY – PARK
BEARWOLF
Oh cub pup. Good see you. I was just remembering how we saved New Years.
CUB PUP
Yes it was great. Dave was almost sober enough to take home his own girlfriend, but you fixed that just in the nick of time.
BEARWOLF
Yes. That was crazy. My favorite part of New Years is watching everyone’s standards drop.
CUB PUP
Yeah, you get to the party and you wanna get with the hottest girl there.
BEARWOLF
But two minute before midnight, who is that stunning creature in the corner? What’s that? She has a humpback and eye patch? Mmmmm, hungry wolf.
CUB PUP
Twelve oh one. At least the ugly was a girl.
BEARWOLF
Unlike last year. That what happen when I not around and all you can poor is red cups of Natty Light. In Russia, you get death penalty for drinking Natty Suck.
CUB PUP
I told you not to mention my inadequacies. Not all of us can make vodka appear on command. I’m trying to the best I can okay? I’ve saved you before, why won’t you just let this go?
BEARWOLF
Sorry. Just you need better slogan. Half cub, half pup, all shitty American Beer. Not work very well.
CUB PUP
If you weren’t the best super hero in suburban California, I’d never to speak to you. The day I’m a full super hero, we’re no longer friends.
BEARWOLF
Day you real super hero, is day I join alcoholics anonymous.  Enough, my sobriety sense is tingling, we must go to bachelor party.
INT. – NIGHT – LIVING ROOM PARTY ATMOSPHERE
CUB PUP
Oh my god Bearwolf. We’re too late. Reborn Rick has just turned vodka to wine. It’ll take them forever to get drunk and make bad decisions now.
REBORN RICK
That’s right Bearwolf. These guys are gonna sober up before they decide nailing a stripper is a good idea. And there’s nothing you can do about it.
BEARWOLF tries to pour vodka from his magic bottle, but only wine comes out.
BEARWOLF
Shit, no vodka coming from magic bottle.
BEARWOLF smashes the bottle, and tries attacking Reborn Rick with the jagged edge
BEARWOLF
I triple distill your face!
REBORN RICK side steps the attack and knocks BEARWOLF to the floor. He proceeds to tie BEARWOLF to a wine cask.
REBORN RICK
Not only will I take your hard liquor but I’ll take your dancing woman and turn her into a woman of god.
EVERYONE ELSE
No!!!
CUB PUP
You’ll never get away with this Reborn Rick!
REBORN RICK
I already have
REBORN RICK proceeds to drink CUB PUP’s Natty Ice until he runs out
REBORN RICK
Ahh. I like a good refreshing drink of water. I was getting a little tipsy from this wine.
CUB PUP
Noooooo!
EXT. – NIGHT – EMPTY STAGE
ANNOUNCER
Will Bearwolf survive? Will Cubpup ever gain a real power? Will the bachelor get to make a terrible life altering decision? Stay tuned to find out.
ANNOUNCER
Welcome back. When we left off, Bearwolf was tied up, the stripper had been kidnapped and Cub Pup was out of flavored water.
INT. – NIGHT – LIVING ROOM PARTY ATMOSPHERE
BEARWOLF
I do not know if I can go on. Maybe it is time for suicide.
CUB PUP
It’s not worth it Bearwolf. Don’t kill yourself. I might envy you, but it’s only out of respect. The townspeople love you.
BEARWOLF
Maybe you are a tap water fuck, but you are right. Get my backup flask out of my hip pocket, .I drink it and get strength to untie myself.
CUB PUP
I could just untie you Bearwolf.
BEARWOLF
I not work in Siberian labor camp for lazy American to untie me.
CUB PUP gets the flask out of BEARWOLF’S back pocket, unscrews it and holds it for BEARWOLF to drink
BEARWOLF
Super strength is returning!
BEARWOLF breaks free from the ropes and runs off stage, with CUB PUP following
INT. – NIGHT – CHURCH
The STRIPPER is now dressed as a nun, and from the front looks like a normal nun. However, as she walks around, she turns out to have booty shorts. She is also walking very sexually. And there is Christian Rock music. Reborn Rick is throwing singles at her as she struts.
REBORN RICK
Yes. Praise Jesus. Those are some fine hips. Fine hips and fine wine.
BEARWOLF kicks down the door
BEARWOLF
I knew I would find you here. Trying to bring back decency and shame. How you live with self?
REBORN RICK
My god how did you escape? No matter. I’ll make sure to kill you this time.
REBORN RICK starts moving towards BEARWOLF
BEARWOLF
Look Mother Teresa, he not even get hard for you.
REBORN RICK
What? That’s preposterous! She’s a sexy woman of god!
BEARWOLF:
We all see your lack of excitement. Reborn Rick? More like Tubesock Tom!
REBORN RICK breaks down crying
REBORN RICK
Why did you have to talk about my manhood? This doesn’t always happen.
BEARWOLF
And I not always drunk.
BEARWOLF, CUB PUP and THE STRIPPER leave while REBORN RICK is crying
INT. – NIGHT – LIVING ROOM PARTY ATMOSPHERE
THE STRIPPER  is dancing and the booze is flowing.
BACHELOR
Thanks Bearwolf. You saved the day again. Now I can do something that’ll be grounds for divorce.
BEARWOLF:
No need thank me, thank Vodka. I am Bearwolf: Half bear, half wolf, all grounds for divorce!
EXT. – NIGHT – EMPTY STAGE
ANNOUNCER
That’s all for this week’s episode. Stay tuned next week when the dastardly Uncle Sam demands Bearwolf make the townspeople pay for vodka shots.
BEARWOLF
I go back to Siberian work camp before pay booze tax!

Sketch Comedy Format: Gameshow

August 28th, 2009 | By Ben in Comedy | No Comments »

The next common comedic sketch format is the game show.

Starting notes:

  • Characters: Announcer, Host and Three Contestants
  • This is a general trivia game show, no need to invent novel rules of the game
  • Come up with name of game show first, the questions will come from that, so will who the contestants are.
  • Prizes should be very specific to the game show
  • Decide if each contestant will answer the same question or get a different question
  • Works best if you make one contestant the straight man and everyone else crazy
  • Straight man needs to be there for a specific reason then realize he’s in the wrong place
  • If the game show is “dangerous” there needs to be a clear reason why the straight man can’t leave
  • Straight man always gets the first two rounds wrong. Then you decide if he miraculously wins the third round or not
  • Whether answers by other contestants are right or wrong are not important, it’s what happens to the straight man in the third round that counts
  • Create stage movement by having host and contestants say shortlines
  • Fourth beat in a game show can be a sudden death due to a tie

The Parts of the Gameshow:

Intro
Announcer: Live from ___, it’s everyone favorite show ___!
Host: My name is ___, we all know how to play, so let’s start.

Round One
Questions are asked, this establishes the game show and who the straight man is

Contestant Intros
Host gives one sentence intro of each guest, learn what host thinks of the straight man

Round Two
More questions are asked

Prizes
Host announces the three prizes, whether the straight man will win or lose the prizes should be terrible for him

Final Round
Final round question can be worth more points then everything else combined

Goodnight
Host: Good night everyone, we’ll see you next time on ___

SNL Example:

Ben’s Example:

ANNOUNCER

Live from the 7 train, it’s the Subway Series!

HOST

Hi everyone, the train is delayed momentarily but I’m Tony Goldstein. You all know how this works, so next stop is round one.

Three seconds of a subway sound effect

HOST

Our first question Which New York City mayor was responsible for ensuring there were no train tracks added to the Triborough bridge? Yes, Joanna?

JOANNA

Umm, not to be ironic but the Triborough bridge was renamed the Robert F Kennedy Bridge. And Ted Kennedy prevented the tracks from being put in when he hit a railing while drunk.

HOST

Ooh, I’m sorry Joanna. Ted Kennedy is responsible for a lot of troubles, but the lack of subway tracks was not one of them. Yes, Johnny?

JOHNNY

Yeah hi. I was promised a series of subway sandwiches. I’m not sure I understand what this question has to do with me getting a chicken teriyaki foot long on wheat bread, toasted, with pickles, tomatoes and jalapenos.

HOST

Ooh, I’m sorry Johnny. Chicken Teriyaki was not the culprit. Yes Michael Johnson the Third?

MICHAEL

It was Robert Moses, parks commissioner and president of the transit authority. He single handedly ran New York City for forty years. Well, my bank certainly helped him with some loans, but wow, what a man.

MICHAEL takes out an expensive looking handkerchief and dabs his moist eyes.

MICHAEL

May he rest in peace.

The HOST is also moved.

HOST

Bob Moses is correct. Michael wins round one. And now, let’s meet our contestants. Michael Steele is a Wall Street Banker who takes the four-five express from 86th street every morning.

MICHAEL

What can I say? I love hundred twenty hour work weeks. The commute is my only alone time.

HOST

Thanks Michael. Next we have Joanna, an unemployed Williamsburg hipster who takes the L from Bedford ave every time there’s a noise concert at Karma Lounge.

JOANNA

Umm, not to be ironic, but unemployed and hipster is redundant. If you have a job, you just don’t get it.

HOST

Thanks Joanna. And last we have Johnny Aarons, a steel worker from Pittsburgh. He tried going from Grand Central to Times Square but wound up at Shea Stadium.

HOST fake laughs

JOHNNY

Look, I understand you might have a different way of doing things here, but when we promise a hungry man a sandwich in Pittsburgh, we don’t make him stand in front of bright lights for an hour answering questions first.

HOST

Thanks Johnny. We’re excited you could be on the show too. Alright, next stop, round two The transfer round!! If you get off of the B, D or F at Broadway Lafayette, what train can you transfer to? Yes Michael?

MICHAEL

The 6. But why would you take that when you could go express? Just like my career baby! Greed is good! No ceiling! CEO in five years, bitch! The 6. Six figure salaries are for fresh out of college chumps. Not a master of the universe like me!

HOST

Ooh, I’m sorry Michael. The judges are telling me you weren’t specific enough. You are wrong.

MICHAEL

No, you’re wrong! Do you have any idea who you’re talking to? I just resold your mortgage five times to nine different shadowy offshore companies. How do you like them apples?

HOST

Stand clear of the closing question please. Yes Joanna?

JOANNA

Umm, not to be ironic, but the B, D, F goes straight to the [whispering] poor [/whispering] part of Brooklyn. They can’t afford a phone card, let alone a metro card. They should just go green and ride a bike. L to the J, M, Z or bust!

HOST

Bust indeed. Beware of the closing whores please. Yes Johnny Aarons?

JOHNNY

If you don’t have any subway sandwiches here, can you just direct me to the nearest Subway sandwich shop? Well, when the train gets moving that is. I am so hungry. Even a six inch sandwich would go down so good right now. What kind of town is this?

HOST

Did I hear six... down.. town? Johnny, is correct!

JOHNNY

Great, can I get some food now?

HOST

You’re right Johnny, let’s take a look at the prizes. The grand prize is a thirty day unlimited metro card. However, due to congestion it can’t be used during rush hours. The runner up will receive a twenty dollar metro card. However, due to MTA rules and regulations, the card has expired. And finally, since we don’t like to send anyone away empty handed, our first place loser wins the development prize, sponsored by the Times Square Redevelopment Fund. It’s a one week paid vacation to exterminate rats on the subway tracks... What great prizes. If only I wasn’t the host... Attention. This is the last stop. Everybody please prepare for the final round. Here we go, for all the third rails, which train is most consistently late? Yes, Michael?

MICHAEL

The 4-5. It just crawls along in the morning like one of those rates these two losers will be exterminating while I buy another seven room apartment on central park east. Money, cash, Tony Goldstein, money cash!

HOST

Ooh, I’m sorry. The 4-5 is not correct. Please exit the train.

A trap door opens. MICHAEL falls in and starts screaming. Rats devour MICHAEL.

JOANNA

Umm, not to be ironic, but what is time? Did it even exist before industrialization and factories? The proletariat will not stand for this. Just like I don’t stand for being found above 19th street. I’ve been here three years and not a once.

HOST

Ooh, I’m sorry. The 3 train is close, but not correct. Please exit the train.

A trap door opens. JOANNA falls in and starts screaming. Rats devour JOANNA.

JOHNNY

This is horrendous! What kind of monsters live in this city? My god! Only one of them was supposed to get that fate. Please, I don’t want to play. I think I saw a quiznos on second ave. If I could leave, I’d just go there.

HOST

I don’t believe my ears! I never thought this could happen but tourist Johnny Aarons has won the Subway Series! The most delayed line is in fact second avenue! They’ve been building it for eighty years. Johnny Aarons, congratulations, you get the non-peak hour thirty day rie, plus the expired ten dollar metro card. What do you think of that?

JOHNNY

This is the last stop!

JOHNNY jumps into one of the other trap doors.

JOHNNY

These tracks have so much food!