I’ve written a script and story boarded it below. I know it will be much funnier if I ever get to shoot it with real actors and someone who can sound like a more convincing announcer than I do.
Feedback is always appreciated.
INT. BOSS’S OFFICE – DAY
As you know we’re in a tough spot. And we’re going to have to let you go.
You mean I’m being laid off?
Zoom in on BOB, shock/frown turns to smile
CUE 1950’s music and NARRATOR
NARRATOR is 1950’s style voice/tone or similar to the NARRATOR from those annoying male enhancement commercials (Enzyte?) with the character BOB
So you don’t have a job anymore? Don’t worry. It’s happening to lots of people. Here’s what you do:
INT. LIQUOR STORE – DAY
BOB walks into a liquor store, goes to the counter and puts down a bunch of singles, he receives lottery tickets
Step One: Don’t buy lottery tickets. You’re not gonna win, and those dollars can be better spent….
CAMERA ZOOMS IN on a dollar bill
INT. STRIP CLUB – NIGHT
CAMERA is still on a dollar bill, but when it zooms out, the bill is in a woman’s G-string and BOB is giving a thumbs up to the camera
…at the strip club
INT. HOME OFFICE – DAY
BOB has a resume open on his computer and is working at it, the camera is zooming from BOB and the computer to just the computer
Step 2: Use the internet to find a new jobs: Yahoo jobs dot com, Hot jobs dot com …
CAMERA SHOWS Computer displays with the mentioned job sites then blurry porn as
…and handjobs dot com
INT. BOB’S HOME – DAY
Camera shows BOB is exhausted from all the work
Now that you’re not throwing away money at the state lottery and your resume is online, it’s time to take a well deserved break. Go outside. Get some fresh air.
EXT. HORSE RACETRACK – DAY
BOB is putting down bets on the long shot horse.
That’s not exactly what I had in mind
EXT. COCKFIGHT YARD – NIGHT
No, not that either.
INT. DOOR EXIT TO OUTSIDE WITH SIGN “MONKEY KNIFE FIGHTS” – NIGHT
Camera shows BOB on his way towards the knife fights
Alright Bob, let’s just move along
INT. BOB’S HOME – NIGHT
Now that you’ve rested, it’s time to see if anyone wants to hire you yet.
CAMERA SHOWS BOB checking email. Zooms into the computer and displays 5 or 6 subjects about a job, and a porn spam mail with blow job in the title. BOB deletes the real emails and clicks the porn, and gives a thumbs up.
CAMERA SHOWS time going forward for six days. Tissues pile up near Bob’s “job search” machine.
Eventually though, you need to go out and network.
BRIEF CLIP OF STRIP CLUB
No not there.
INT. HOOTERS – DAY
Getting closer, but not quite Bob
INT. BUSINESS NETWORKING EVENT – NIGHT
That’s more like it.
CAMERA finds Bob in a corner, shooting dice and collecting money
With persistence and a little bit of luck, you’ll have a new job in no time.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Camera starts zoomed in on BOB as he types on a computer, but you cannot see the text. BOB is smiling.
It may even be better than your old one.
Camera zooms out to show BOB as a bookie taking bets, camera ends with BOB giving a big smile and thumbs up to the camera.