A late night music and comedy mic
httpv://youtu.be/2K–ZGOY0h8
1m08s Good hula hoop work this time
1m19s Get lost touching my own face
2m27s Feels too forced, figure out a different way to do this
4m09s Could’ve pointed this out earlier
4m48s Sound more positive about this
4m54s Shift down and sad for “on the only window”
5m10s Third date needs to be different
Overall: Ok for three in the morning, but the new lines need a rewrite
An open mic
httpv://youtu.be/4Ur8vGKA84g
0m29s Don’t step on the laugh
0m38s Do better object work: spin the hula hoop at the top first
1m45s The sarcasm should be heavier or change the idea
3m02s Tighten the wording on this
3m48s Sound happier about this, like I’m selling her on it
Overall: Good for a mic, but the 3 or 4 new lines I tried on older jokes didn’t work.
A bar show for 5 people
httpv://youtu.be/UjKwaGAve3I
1m05s No need to repeat the vote
1m41s Don’t go up at the end of the sentence
2m28s Not sure if I should repeat questions if nobody responds with “why”
3m32s Get sadder on the hula hoop falling down
3m56s Touch my face more when saying that
4m33s Change “virginal princess” to something funnier
4m44s Deliver this with more sarcasm
4m52s Sell the nausea better
8m01s Good self acknowledgement
8m19s Set this up with less words
8m39s Think up a funnier second date
8m56s Improvise better sock puppets and make it a conversation
Overall: Good considering there were only five audience members. And I managed to have fun.
9:30pm show
1m19s Try changing “messed up” to “messed up-ish”
3m59s Don’t step on the laugh
4m10s Might want to pick up the imaginary hula hoop between the two hula hoop motions
4m52s Change the last line
5m15s Tighten the words and get the act out better, but the idea is there
6m30s Don’t move my hand on this act out, her arm should always be out straight
7m38s Don’t pause after “your phone”
8m12s Make the setup tighter
8m19s And this slightly clearer and less words
9m04s Needs a couple of less words
Overall: Good set but the new lines need polishing.
A mic
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcfz0y0vKLY
0m59s Tighten this set up
1m18s Might want to describe a red zone analogy
2m51s Change the delivery on “not so smart”
Overall: Ok for a mic, keep tightening this new bit.
