Tag: Critiques

The 8pm show

httpv://youtu.be/gh6Tr0TpkBQ

0m27s Take a slight pause after “junkie”

1m17s Nice little improvised line

2m35s The kid was too young to point at, find someone who looks 25 or over

3m08s It should be “King’s Palace”

3m27s Take a slight pause before “phone charger”

6m33s Not sure if I need “full contact sport”

6m53s Make it two hundred thousand instead of twenty

7m03s I heard talking but shouldn’t have addressed it as it wasn’t that loud

7m30s Not even sure what he said

8m28s Decent job working my way back into the material

8m40s Should be smiling more during this part

9m46s I missed the line of “maybe I’ll get married at 41 when I should be dead anyway”

10m00s Shouldn’t have gone into that bit after the interruption

10m21s Could’ve asked if she had to see any family

10m49s Checks are dropping

11m13s Make a sentence, and I forgot to do the grandpa criticizing me part

11m52s Don’t say dip twice in a row

11m56s Don’t use the word “sad” let them figure it out

13m53s Suicide then murder should be the setup

Overall: It went a lot better than I remembered it going, and the interaction with the heckler seemed smoother than I remembered it going. I should’ve still been even gentler on the first response. Set got weaker at the end due to checks dropping.

The 8pm show

httpv://youtu.be/2UmFGwm7NbM

0m17s Tighten those first two sentences

0m32s Pause before “bullshit”

1m49s Say the line smoother

2m28s Make the second one “Halo” or “call of duty” instead of repeating Madden

2m54s Hit the line stronger without jumbling words

3m33s Pause after “12^th century” as that seems to the laugh line

5m24s Nice job being in the room and noticing that

6m48s Add “it’s just a hunch” or “I’d actually guess Denny’s”

7m09s Six pack is funnier than twenty four pack

7m47s It should be “and you’re horny” not “or you’re horny”

9m15s Emphasize “AND”

Overall: Great set. I did a lot of new and newer material and it went over really well. I just gotta smooth out my words in a few places.

Going up around 2am on a music and comedy mic

httpv://youtu.be/hvN87eWN2Sc

1m21s Change up his voice a bit more

2m21s Leave it as “you do” no need to rephrase to “you do”

3m30s Funny improvised line about the sick day, but should probably cut or rework most of this bit

4m39s Make this a conversation with an actual person

4m44s Give the immigrants an accent

6m02s It actually did completely miss and needs a rewrite

8m01s Try yawning on the “you’re so tired” line

8m53s I could’ve improvised a “she wants me to end this too” line based on the material I was doing

9m05s Change “modern art” to “your masterpiece”

11m04s Cut out the word “kitchen”

Overall: The two newer jokes were kinda weak but the Blade bit at the end went well.

The 930 show/mic (no audience, all comics)

httpv://youtu.be/hYGXcHa_8BI

1m00s No need for the negative comment

4m11s Add “shitty” before jobs

4m41s Remember the word

Overall: Good response for a mic, keep working out the new material

Doing a check spot on the 10pm show

httpv://youtu.be/CVmcIcJpe7I

0m59s Do a longer up and down look

2m48s Nice improvised bit here

3m29s Gotta remember the word “over-entitled”

3m59s It should be “super tough film major” not “byzantine dance”

Overall: Ok for checks, but gotta remember the word “over-entitled” and if I’m gonna do a new bit on a short set, do it earlier on so I can finish it.