Tag: Critiques

The 8pm show

httpv://youtu.be/_JmRSUgzRZ0

0m16s Face scratch is too subtle

0m20s Hit “lie” harder

2m25s Name a specific airline

2m50s Weird transition, joke doesn’t fit there

3m17s I could probably tighten this to one instead of three sentence, “I teach convicts how to do comedy.”

3m49s Be cognizant of the shake sound

4m39s Figure out the free agent line or cut it out

4m55s Cut the Newt Gingrich clause, it’s clever not funny

5m18s Cut or reword “team player”

7m03s Say “our first date” instead of “the first date”

7m17s Mom should smile on the first line

8m30s Don’t need the hammy line

8m39s Heavier sarcasm on the “somebody went to Yale” line

8m58s Hand motion should keep going in the same direction until community college”

10m01s If they laugh on the set up, pause before answering the question

10m51s Just have him point instead of using a fork

11m09s Work on getting a smoother motion for that whole grandpa thing

12m13s Tap hip instead of mic for the clap, or wave out to the audience

12m57s I don’t need to go back into the Ben voice

13m04s It should be “have a safe night”

Overall: Mediocre to average set. Got some decent laughs but not that much momentum and I didn’t end as strong as I wanted.

Going last at a music and comedy mic

httpv://youtu.be/3uMkuQSqeVc

0m27s If doing the face scratch, do it twice

1m52s This punch line isn’t a punch line, if getting rid of the threat, think of something funny

2m31s Looks like the bear line might work

3m09s Needs a stronger line for my perspective of scary

4m30s This whole part after Denny’s needs reconsideration/rewriting

5m45s Probably not worth listing different brands

6m39s I let the audiences lack of energy effect my energy by this point, try keeping a higher energy especially when it’s dragging

8m13s Work on the mannerisms more, so he’s always pointing the knife on “you”

8m33s Make the side turn more pronounced

8m54s Don’t go up on “clown”

9m28s The birthday song is better when mom smiles

Overall: Weak set. I did a lot of rewrites and was thinking about them more than about the actual performance and my energy dipped.

A 10pm show

httpv://youtu.be/xms2C9X4aWQ

0m27s Cut the “pull a hammy, that’s a real tragedy” lines

1m53s Good improvised save line

Overall: Good short set

An 8pm show

httpv://youtu.be/xEhpD_anJag

1m15s Say that more playfully

4m27s Point half a second sooner

5m44s I could try a “call 911” act out while doing an air hump

6m38s Good that going back into the pose gets a laugh on its

8m18s I need it the “that I was adopted” line to feel a little more throw away

Overall: Good set but couldn’t get the laughter momentum that I would’ve liked

Opening on a 2pm show for a light crowd

httpv://youtu.be/rACulXmRaE0

2m08s No need for the “thanks”

3m20s Try to make “one year deal” a punch line

4m12s If “The Notebook” gets a big laugh, I might want to drop “that’s like a hat trick”

4m37s Smile more during this bit

5m30s Switch mic to the other hand before “with my mom”

6m42s Cut the “how cold are you now” line

Overall: This sounded better than I remember it going. Consistent but not light laughs for most of it.