Opening a 9:30 show
httpv://youtu.be/YMp_QNN3YQo
1m40s Could’ve added “yeah you’re not leader” or something
6m55s Feels forced there
7m35s Cut the heat line
7m58s Tighten the previous three sentences into one
Overall: Mediocre set. A couple of big laughs off of crowd work but the rest of the laughs were too low.
A 9pm show
httpv://youtu.be/HMKNao8O4DY
4m18s Pause for a second before “imagine”
5m42s Do the “yeah right” look for longer
Overall: Not great not terrible.
A bar show for 8 people
httpv://youtu.be/uDB4q9N7LSo
0m43s Sound more playful with it
1m04s Should’ve done crowd work leading into the next bit when it’s this dead
3m05s The old “if good material isn’t hitting, let’s do new material” trick
3m56s Work on that act out
4m58s Play off the heroin more since that got the biggest laugh
Overall: Horrible set that never got going anywhere. At least I said a newer joke in front of an audience.
An 8pm show
httpv://youtu.be/BCJKminb7U8
3m44s Rewrite the phone charger bit
4m54s Cut the horny line (and watch my videos quicker, so I don’t have to write this same note twenty times)
5m53s Good job acknowledging something that happened and leading it into a bit
6m58s Hit “monster” harder
Overall: Weak set. Should’ve tried some save lines.
An afternoon fundraiser
httpv://youtu.be/5r2_Kzeo9g4
0m33s Should’ve tried commenting on the room a little more
2m18s Hit “being” harder
2m45s Get more negative body language for “I see most of you are on her side”
4m22s Nice improvised line about “the Friendly’s staff”
5m41s Smile on the “awww”
6m19s Sell the “yeah right” look for longer
10m13s I should have a stock bit for when someone doesn’t have a safe word
10m59s Nice little improvised line
Overall: Ok for an afternoon set, but a lot of the jokes need shortening.
