Going last on a music and comedy mic
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzikk_-lZcQ
1m04s Don’t say the word “like”
3m23s This joke should be further apart from the Yale joke
4m26s Cut the unwise line
5m11s Rewrite or cut the woodchipper line
6m35s Reword to “you’d be surprised how often Jesus would…”
7m04s Reword to “the only place I kill at is…”
8m57s More emphasis on “that”
9m20s Good job handling heckling in character
11m30s Always nice to end on a strong laugh
Overall: Decent for a mic. Great job staying in character, especially with the crowdwork and heckles.
I like the new creepy guy angle/character.
You might want to incorporate some sort of object into the routine. For instance, you could show everyone your collection of bloody tampons you took from your neighbor’s trash, and then sniff a few of them and say, “Oh–that’s good” in an orgasmic tone. Or you could show us some of your creepy artwork, or slides from your trip to The Olive Garden.
I’d also make the character some sort of conspiracy theorist, and add references to your manifesto. Or you could tell us about the secret messages being sent to you through a famous song or TV show.
You should probably add another story about your strange interactions with people in ordinary day to day life. I’d also like to know more about your character’s hobbies, eating habits, work life, finances, or relationships. I also think some sort of bizarre To Do or Top Ten list would work well in your routine.
I’d also consider adding some commentary on human nature, current events, pop culture, etc.
Just some suggestions. I hope you find a couple of them useful.
I love the alibi bit.
I’d eliminate the part about your grandma’s belt.
I’d also add a new opening.
And I think you should experiment a little more. Test new material more often.
Anyways, I’m enjoying your videos, and I hope your career takes off soon.
RO