This is the same night as the previous critique but the late show. There was around 14 people in the audience and the two comics before me killed so I thought I’d knock it out of the park too. Turns out stand up comedy can also be spelled “d-i-s-a-p-p-o-i-n-t-m-e-n-t.”
0m04s My intro is much better when the MC pauses between “he’s adorable” and “and then he opens his mouth” instead of flying through it at a million miles an hour. It’s easier to do well when the crowd is laughing at your jokes before you’re even on stage.
0m14s I have to smile at the audience for a few seconds before I open my mouth or else it looks really forced and the tension doesn’t build right.
0m41s That’s one of the biggest laughs the blind people line has ever gotten.
1m05s My tone was too mean and I think I lost the crowd here.
1m11s If I didn’t lose them before, I definitely lost them now.
1m20s The return of the word stumbler!
1m46s And the crowd is back. For now anyway. I did an extra long hold on the invisible balls, it seems to get a better laugh.
2m09s I think they didn’t laugh because I came off as mean earlier, so I can’t get away with as much.
2m41s Three straight punch lines where I can hear crickets. I may have started to rush my jokes when the laughs weren’t coming as quick as I expected.
2m52s There are people in the seats after all.
2m54s After I said “no situation ever warrants someone saying: that takes tits” a woman in the audience retorted with “Stripping.”
3m04s That wasn’t a ten second dramatic pause, that was ten seconds of the wheels in my head turning.
3m06s The wheels still work.
3m24s That’s the weirdest laugh sound I’ve ever heard myself make.
3m39s I need a slightly longer pause after “that takes”.
3m55s This punch line isn’t getting as solid of a laugh as the other two. Maybe I should try a twist and say “then you got huge balls” instead.
4m40s I can’t act out my way of a paper bag, at least if it was stuck in a ceiling fan. I need to work on doing bigger motions.
4m51s Change the word “boobie trap” to “bomb”. I noted this in my previous performance critique but didn’t watch it until after I did both sets.
4m55s Change “for your first date you’re in one” to “for your first date, you’re in it”
5m11s I need to fix the children – psychopath comparison.
5m21s The stumbler meets a punch line but still gets a laugh. Maybe I’ll try talking even slower.
6m42s I’ll end on anything as long as there’s a laugh, even if it’s the words “shit I cant end on this”.
Overall: I had a terrible set. Especially in comparison with the two comics before me and the guy that came after me. Yes I got laughs, but it was nowhere near the amount it could’ve been. As soon as I got off stage I started trying to analyze what went wrong, how I could fix it and wishing I could get up for the same crowd a second time to do it better. I think it was 3 things: 1) I didn’t interact with the crowd enough and this crowd really loved when the comics were just improving with them and not doing material 2) When I interacted with the crowd I was a little too mean and 3) I wasn’t conversational enough in my delivery.
