Category: Performance Critiques

Another Set

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZVxzwQUsn0

0m50s When the first minute of jokes isn’t working, try to bring the audience closer to you

1m16s They actually moved up a table

1m36s I’ve yet to get a punch line to go over with this crowd

1m52s First time ever that “Igor likes this” got crickets

2m15s No need for the “unsubscribe” act out

2m35s Yet more evidence that the thesaurus joke needs to go (and that I need to do performance critiques quicker than 7 weeks later)

3m44s The audience has decided they won’t laugh at anything I give them

4m08s The first laugh of the set, and it took three seconds of silence to squeeze it out

4m40s It should be “I bought my” not “buying my”

6m21s Get to Pez dispenser crisper

Overall: I bombed. Next time I get such weak applause when I come up, I should get the audience to clap again instead of allowing the low energy to persist. It probably won’t save it, but I’ll at least be taking control of the situation.  The one thing about this set that I’m proud of is I was able to move a group of audience members closer to the stage. It didn’t get them laughing any more, but I at least took control of the room that way. (It’s generally easier to get laughter when people are closer to the stage.)

A Monday Night

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwYMQ2cq5D0

0m12s I’m in glasses because my eyes got messed up from sleeping in contacts

0m25s Apparently having glasses on gets a bigger laugh for the model line

3m22s Nice coy tone for “is that too far?”

3m46s Get rid of the “help me please” line

3m58s Pause for longer after “tell joke to drunks”

4m09s Slow down when saying “We not float in boat for you fail math”

5m24s Be more definite, instead of “you might know the slogan” say “I think you know the slogan”

6m24s Big shout out to the MC for blocking the camera

Overall: For a Monday night in this room, I did really well. I hope it’s because I’m getting better and more consistent and not because my glasses make me funny and pathetic looking and get the audience on my side quicker. Also, I need to make more definite statements about the audience during the morning after pill joke.

This is me hosting the writer’s mic

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oIiKTmKG8I

0m34s It should be “she’ll think you’re a big spender” not “she’ll know you’re a big spender”

1m22s Instead of “real short and simple” I should say “or simplify it:”

2m18s I like the thesaurus joke although it barely ever works, it needs to go though

3m20s Get rid of the “whoever laughs does coke” line

3m45s The Mongolia joke isn’t a keeper

Overall: I worked out newer jokes and need to fix up the wording for the morning after pill and Russian family jokes. The Mongolia line and thesaurus line should go the way of the dodo.

A Saturday Show

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRlpIl8VSIg

1m27s I cut off her answer way too quick

1m46s The “grandma’s are good” response threw me a little bit because that’s not usually where there’s audience interaction

2m32s My arm should have a more definite and purposeful motion

3m33s Good call out on the audience

4m10s The girls gone wild membership is better than Netflix line I’ve been using, but it’s still not killer

5m50s Great question for which there’s no right answer, “Do both of you molest kids or just the guy in the beard?”

6m27s I could add on to the end of “You’re like “shit! That’s how much it is?”” with “I need adjust my budget for tonight!”

6m57s Too much “umming”

7m21s Try “RU-486” instead of “Plan B”

7m32s Instead of saying “oh, really?” I should’ve say “you’re right, that was too far”

8m07s It shouldn’t be “buy in bulk” but “buy plan B in bulk”

8m12s No need to say “you don’t like me right now” because they were still laughing and listening attentively

9m38s The next time an audience member replies “no” to having had to hold someone all night long, I should try to combine “clearly you’re a better man than me” with “this guy is like, not me, I’m a pimp, son” as they get laughs individually

Part 2

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qra3HBPoEbo

0m08s Good finish to a mediocre set

Overall: While I got steady laughs, the set didn’t have the “exploding laughter” that the previous night’s set had. The crowd got a little uncomfortable with the morning after pill joke and I didn’t acknowledge that fact like I did the previous night.

A Friday night show

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=og-aPvgWJH0

2m09s Great first two minutes

2m11s No need for “Jenny likes this”

2m21s The Netflix bit needs to go too

2m38s Calling out that it was getting uncomfortable made the audience more accepting of the subject

2m57s Good crowd work banter

3m08s It should be “she’ll think you’re a big spender” instead of “you’ll be like a big spender”

3m15s Pause for two seconds after “cause I’m the prize”

3m23s No need for “like crack”

4m03s Perfect timing on that one liner

4m15s Get rid of the thesaurus joke

4m26s Too much explanation before the act out

4m36s Take longer to finish “pleaaasssse”

5m14s Seem more scared for “help me, please help me”

5m51s I’m glad this punch line got a laugh, cause it’s one of my favorite new jokes

7m50s Decent follow up / save on a line that didn’t get a huge laugh

8m50s I can’t wait for the day where I have so many fans that “overestimating my fan base” doesn’t get any laughs

Overall: This was a really good set. My old stuff started real well and my new jokes mostly worked. Once I get rid of the new lines that didn’t work, I’ll have two or three minutes of new material.