Category: Performance Critiques

A bar show in a hot room without air conditioning

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0Z1AKr0jJI

1m55s Call it a Venn diagram

2m10s Make my bar chart smaller

3m22s Cut this line

4m10s And cut everything from the previous note to here

6m08s The van joke needs to be clearer, people are missing my whole confounding / combining cell phone plans and child adoption

6m44s Slightly meaner than needed

Overall: This is why you shouldn’t do a bunch of untested jokes in a row at a real show. There is a lot of fat on these newer jokes that needs trimming and rewriting.

An open mic

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-Nnd3BPgo8

2m33s Get rid of the medals and podium line

3m05s Make this a smoother transition from x games to used cars

3m25s Get rid of the lemon part

3m55s Get rid of “a pop”

5m08s Meaner than necessary

Overall: Working out some newer stuff, it needs to get shorter

Opening for 30 minutes for a sketch group

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kobtGCAqpc

0m01s True story, the tape started 5 seconds after I got brought up

2m35s Nice improvised callback

6m07s Pause before “So I just”

6m56s Great job addressing a heckle and turning it into a win for me

7m42s That’s the best response this line has gotten

8m20s Don’t step on the laughs

Part 2

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqjM8OPGyIw

0m59s Say “I told you we’d get to the groaning part”

1m10s Add “cause she’s instant play”

2m07s No need for the “so drunk you forget” line

3m59s Good improvised line

4m49s Cut the last 50 seconds

7m40s This is a b joke, it needs a rewrite

8m32s Say the line more playfully

8m45s Too mean, no need for that

Part 3

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffqil6r9Klk

0m09s Weird transition question, wasn’t even a full sentence

1m29s I need more bombing lines for a longer set, or more quality material

2m15s Good laugh considering I thought I lost them

2m28s I need another line after “shit happens”

3m10s The 57 point inspection needs to be setup clearer

3m22s Get rid of the brakes line

6m35s I should’ve gone to the second part of the joke about “cancel relationship” as I was getting more sympathy

7m17s I don’t need the “cause” there

9m29s Don’t react angrily, say it jokingly

Part 4

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pevo4Z0ANhs

1m08s I blew the line

1m16s Bail out of the joke if a big punch line is blown that confuses two future punch lines

Overall: I did 31 minutes without any notes and did great for the first 15. I wasn’t as prepared as I could’ve been because I was just remembering jokes as I went along after 20 minutes and too many of them in a row were about sex. I also remembered why I rarely do my older material…

Going up first at my Queens show

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lKrnVV_nUg

0m13s There was an actual infant in the audience

1m18s Move the location of my hands between each line and make it a Venn diagram

1m59s Perfectly played

2m47s Try doing a “pow pow” mini gun motion

3m48s Cut the previous thirty seconds about midnight sails and all

4m30s Pause after “and the yellow ones”, there’s an extra laugh there

6m05s Hammer it home by going “the Hitler mustache ok, but back of the van is no good?”

7m39s Rephrase to “actual chart in her bedroom like an NFL draft room”

8m00s Cut down a few of these examples

Part 2

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcpYaDIW-bI

1m18s This joke needs some work, but at least it didn’t turn the crowd, which it could’ve

Overall: I did mostly new or rewritten material and it went over fairly well. I need to cut the second half of the millionaire joke and the ID’s joke needs rework.

Hosting the Sunday writer’s mic

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPKkEfGx7Pc

1m34s Get rid of the earthworm thing

2m12s Make that an actual sentence

3m22s It should be the same form of “exploiting” twice in a row

3m33s Get rid of the boomshakalaka

Overall: These newer jokes need some rework but have potential.