An open mic
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfxD0lX4pAo
0m35s Try not dead panning these lines
1m32s Change “chanukah” to something else
2m18s Cut this whole “imagine if America did this” part, it’s too forced
4m35s This needs a stronger ending where the kid wins
6m12s The tags are funny but the setup is confusing and lacking
Overall: Working out new jokes at a mic, half of this stuff needs to be cut down.
Hosting my Astoria show
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76DQvSeICtk
0m55s Get the wording tighter
1m21s Try “that’s the Detroit of the south”
1m52s Try “ayyyyyy box” instead
2m39s That hand motion is funny
3m51s It’s a guy with that name
4m19s Tighten the setup into one coherent sentence
4m48s Say “belt loop” instead of “belt”
Part 2
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiuoqorPAQQ
1m39s This needs a stronger ending where the kid wins
6m07s This feels forced change the structure
7m58s Cut the synagogue question
8m15s Cut this whole “imagine if America did this” part, it’s too forced
Overall: My crowd work was respectable but I should try to maintain my high energy throughout. And my newer jokes need work.
Hosting the Sunday writer’s mic
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UyTdLUO1YU
0m34s Shorten to “I’m not being racist, I assumed that…”
2m20s It should be “apple pie” not “american pie”
2m32s I forgot to ask about “what holiday’s do you celebrate?”
3m09s Change this whole premise to “my friend is a good person, but he always complains. He’s not gonna be any better in heaven.”
3m31s Explain “cause oysters make pearls”
3m44s I need to make this a more distinct character
3m52s It should be a “sold out” concert
4m42s Pause before “to be” not after
5m16s Rephrase to “let’s reach towards the sun gods”
6m04s Do this in a girl voice
6m27s Change it from “knife” to “switchblade”
Overall: Surprisingly all of these jokes have potential. (Usually my newer or rewritten material is like a 20% hit rate.) But these jokes still need tightening and better delivery.
The 8pm show
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6q4R2xuQSS4
3m59s This punch line is closer to where it should be, but it’s not fully right yet
5m45s I should try doing this as a self realization, “I just realized it’s cheaper for a back alley bj than for an impression of my mom” or something like that
Part 2
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCEiDH27r0c
2m27s I just rewrote this punch line a few days ago, nice to see it working right away
4m19s Hit “I start to believe them” harder
4m28s The checks just got dropped mid-joke
5m44s A save line here could’ve helped
6m21s Add in “he’s like, don’t blame me, I only interrupted you” or something like that
Overall: Great 17 minute set and I was even able to keep most of the audience’s attention during the start of check dropping.
Doing the check spot on the 10pm show twenty seconds after an audience member vomited in the front row
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkQ1h7dGrR0
1m57s Say “he just quit his job” more confidently, like it’s an actual punch line
5m50s I found out afterwards that part of the audience worked for Fox News, which makes this funnier to me
Overall: The situation was so ridiculous that it was fun. I did a good job calling out the situation and eventually working in a few jokes.
