The 8pm show
httpv://youtu.be/umPVeVxKCCc
2m18s More emphasis on “hate”
3m43s Clearer that my dad’s talking
4m34s Dad saying it doesn’t fully make sense
7m19s Could’ve worded this smoother
7m31s Try pausing for half a second after “let’s”
Overall: Okay set but nothing great. The divorce joke needs a lot of rewriting.
Going up 2 hours into the 10pm show
httpv://youtu.be/-AnhnODkkvc
6m46s Make it clearer that it’s my dad talking
9m34s Hand motion and pointing needs to be better defined
10m52s Try “five minutes of Russian optimism” before “where everyone’s dead”
12m07s Emphasis on “I”
Overall: First half was good then it dropped off and I never got them fully back.
MCing the 8pm show
httpv://youtu.be/jEwni_RE-co
1m58s Slight pause after “oh it’s okay”
5m58s Great interactive crowd work
15m20s Tighten this bit but at least there’s laughs now
Overall: Great job with the 11 minutes up front. I did a ton of crowd work and only did 3 or 4 jokes. The in between time was a little hit or miss.
Going up 2.5+ hours into a show
httpv://youtu.be/E78UbfJbWq4
1m47s Deliver “Do your homework” as a punch line
3m52s Cut “it’s a very nice place”
Overall: Weak. The new divorce bit still needs a lot of work.
The 10pm show
httpv://youtu.be/QRFnL4ckx4c
1m21s Good call back to a previously improvised line
4m04s Emphasize “although”
4m48s Make the setup clearer otherwise the punch lines don’t make much sense
7m47s Tucking the chin in is a good way to show sarcasm without people seeing my eye roll
8m47s More emphasis on “I”
Overall: Solid set, the divorce bit in the middle was weaker but I brought it back and did a good job improvising throughout.
