Doing a check spot for an audience of 15
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6XTqr-7Xtk
0m15s Not the usual intro, but I find it’s necessary for the check spot
1m50s Do a bigger celebration
3m10s Do j-date before the suicide stuff
4m04s Too much poking
Overall: It went as well as most check spots can go
A small show in a restaurant basement
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ab8L3BpxTC0
0m17s Say “you spend” before listing days of the week
1m30s Pause longer after “yeah”
2m38s Do the j-date joke before the suicide joke
4m04s Too much poking, and not in the same place, figure out a way not to over do it
4m54s It should be “Hi, how are you today, we’re just wondering, what’s your opinion on…”
5m48s Explain the difference between Facebook and Yelp more
7m22s Hit “tap dancing” harder
7m31s Needs a better punch line
8m12s Instead of “everyone” it should be “you all”
Overall: My good stuff did fairly well, my newer stuff still needs work.
An open mic
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1Bby6XlZCE
0m38s This is a joke strictly for open mics, it lets me see what the maximum level of laughs can be
1m48s Good job acknowledging the situation
2m59s Change rookie of the year to hall of fame
3m12s I don’t need the line “You don’t just put up these numbers”
3m48s Reword to “When did they stop teaching the fundamentals?”
4m11s Kill the sabermetrics stuff
6m14s Don’t use the word “joke”
6m38s Say “horrible” both with names and face
Overall: I was working new stuff out, which still need some work but I was really comfortable in acknowledging when things went off the deep end and making them funny.
A music and magic open mic
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXNirid-O3o
0m28s A failed improvised opening, next time, do one joke, then do the in the moment opening
3m23s Figures that the biggest laugh at a bar show is “they’re not all drunks”
5m32s Fred Astaire isn’t an effective punch line
7m37s Anytime there’s an inappropriate audience member or two, I should stop after every joke and address them with the lesson
9m15s Medicore tag of “not all the white ones are tight” try it once more then cut it
Part 2
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=090y4CP6dr4
0m18s Instead of “things” it should be “statements”
1m44s Don’t laugh after this joke
2m44s Try to reword it “babies are the new crack cocaine”
3m05s Say “fallopian tubes” not “tubes”
3m58s Be careful not to overdo the “that’s brilliant” statements, but occasionally it is funny
5m03s Don’t laugh after that punch line, unless it’s a really evil laugh
8m06s Strengthen this act out
8m37s This is where I should’ve turned to the kids and said, “Children, don’t hang out with priests”
Part 3
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hu_zc8lLDM4
0m12s I need to rewrite the names joke
1m36s Some audience members finished dinner, I’m pretty sure they weren’t leaving cause of me cause they weren’t listening anyway
3m05s I need to get into this joke better
4m30s I love that I actually started workshopping a joke for a minute
5m01s Pause after “rookie card”
5m26s It should be “dedication” not “determination”
5m51s Explain what Sabermetrics is
6m07s add “per million” after 19.2
Part 4
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvP208_CwaI
1m15s Don’t do a fake I’m done, just remember that closing bit
Overall: I did another 30 minute set, I was only planning on doing 10-15 so I kept checking my notes, mostly because I wanted to work out newer stuff. People weren’t listening the whole time, but it’s always nice to be on stage for a long time and to work stuff out.
Sunday writer’s mic
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtJSsTavCLY
0m18s I’m already really angry and worked up, I need to start this more calm then get excited
0m44s Less words here
1m03s Give more of a “what the fuck” look
1m22s Explain Sabermetrics
1m46s Deliver “everyone knows” like it’s more obvious
2m30s Getting sloppy with words, clean this up
3m10s Be calm on “DNA testing came in” and then get worked up on “and ruined the game!”
3m40s Don’t need the McDonald triad bit
4m28s Great line, doesn’t need two follow up lines
Overall: This is a brand new joke that’s currently 4 minutes, I need to cut it down to 2 minutes, but there’s a lot of potential.
