I co-wrote and edited these two videos.
“Max’s Long Day”
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPoUxBaPA6s
“Max’s Long-OR Day”
(The faster, funnier version with multiple endings and fewer morality tales.)
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2K2t0SmtaaU
Performance Critique: November 21c
Going last on a show for ten people
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QFbu5VnhI4
0m13s Try not to say “fuck” this early in a set
0m59s Stay committed to the whole joke without commenting
2m10s Give examples of Maury, “You’re not the daddy, awww” “She left you, awww”, etc
2m29s Weird delivery on “some of them are cokeheads”, hit the line harder
3m27s Keep my hand at my face until I start saying the word “when”
3m58s That was fun for me
7m10s Good job looking at my watch for a while
Overall: Weak set but at least I finished stronger than I started, and I had fun with having everyone say “awww” to get it out of their system.
Performance Critique: November 21b
Going first on an 8pm show for 15 people
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58g1CUuor_Y
5m18s At least I got one good laugh
Overall: I got some laughs, but I feel this level of response is bombing for me at this point. I should’ve saved the “if you don’t laugh I’ll follow you home” line until at least after the “we’re not friends” joke. On the bright side, I at least ended stronger than I started and the Fox News joke hit hard.
Performance Critique: November 21a
The Sunday Writer’s Mic
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkaA1JXHQS8
0m14s Sound more indignant about this
0m21s Make it more obvious that I’m talking to a waiter
1m34s No need to explain it
1m49s The sentence should be “we went to her place without getting food first”
2m49s It should be “that reads SIGNS”
4m22s This joke needs a better ending, but the premise has potential
Overall: I tried out four minutes of brand new, half written jokes, and three of them have potential (million point bonus, train conductor fine, and Israeli security questions). I need to rewrite them a few times and keep trying them.
Performance Critique: November 20
Going first on the 8pm show
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnLm6xEh42s
1m39s It sounds like I was going through puberty during the mom act out cause I’m a little sick
3m49s Scrunch the face first, then put the hand on the hip, then go down in the stance
4m12s I need a better punchline here
4m55s Good job implementing an improvised lined from last night into the joke tonight
7m37s Pause after “thanks for the tip”
Overall: Solid set for going first on a show. I did only “A” jokes but I had a couple of new lines in them and the two new lines hit hard.
