A Rant About Facebook Profile Photos

There’s a website called “Help a Reporter” and I came across this request today:

“If you’re on Facebook, who’s in your photo and why? Do you just depict yourself or maybe a display of your kids. Maybe it’s you and your significant other. Who’s in the photo and why? And do you have any feelings on the choices other people make? Seeing just someone’s kids in their photo makes you think … ? Ditto for email addresses like thesmithfamily@aol.com. Share your thoughts. Thank you.”

My response:

Hi there,
I have 3 kinds of Facebook profile photos: 
  1. Me doing something funny or crazy (making fun of the Rocky statue, snowboarding tricks, etc) with nobody else in the photo
  2. When I’m interviewing for jobs, I put up a very standard photo of myself, in a suit or other situation where I look presentable 
  3. Me looking like the pimp that I am, with each arm around an attractive woman
My pet peeves of profile photos:
  1. Huge group photos – congratulations, you have friends. That I can barely make out your face leads me to believe you’re the ugliest one in the photo. By far. Otherwise, why would you hide in the crowd on your own profile page?
  2. Photo of you with your significant other (unless it’s hysterical). Do you really need to advertise how whipped you are? It’s bad enough you don’t say “I” or “me” anymore and that everything is “we”, but you can’t even have your own identify on Facebook? If you have her in your photo, but she doesn’t have you, you’re probably gonna get dumped. If you both have it, I just threw up a little in my mouth.
  3. Random cartoon / celebrity / political movement photo. You’re about as original as Rocky V.
  4. Photo of you with a baby that’s not your kid. This can be effective if you’re trying to scare guys away, otherwise who cares about the random child you played with for 4 seconds at Aunt Sallie’s house 5 months ago? He’s probably adopted anyway.

Let me know your pet peeves in the comments section… You can also email geekfactory@gmail.com with the subject “FACEBOOK PHOTO” by 6PM on October 18th if you want to have a chance to be included in their article.


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