Philly Knows How To Riot

So I was in Philly last night when they won the World Series. And based on my 4 hours of riot observation, Philly knows how to party! Some high lights:

  • A guy running with a large orange construction barrel towards the riot police
  • Looting taking place at an Italian Restaurant that closed
  • Rioters rocking the police bus and almost tipping it
  • Random dumpster fires with 10 foot flames
  • 100 people climbing on a firetruck and celebrating
  • Guy climbing the traffic light, hanging there for 20 minutes and then jumping
  • Ten different people trying to knock down the holiday liberty bell light display hanging on the corner and ten different people failing to knock it down
  • Bank window getting smashed (they had some nice bullet proof glass though, as it didn’t break, just had a HUGE spider web)
  • Lots of beer bottles getting smashed into the ground (and a few being chucked into the crowd / at the cops)
  • Me deciding that a wooden, ten foot, police “do not cross” board would make for a great championship belt to parade through the streets. And not seeing the cop three feet away from me. Good thing I know how to talk to cops or I’d be posting this from jail!*
  • Me spilling my coffee this morning as I was sorting through my riot photos

I just hope Rutgers riots this good when we win a football national championship!


*My conversation with the police officer went something like this:

“What are you doing?”
“I don’t know”
“You don’t know?”
“No ma’am”
“Well you better put that back”
“Yes ma’am”
“That’s not how it was”
“Sorry maam. Let me fix that. Have a nice night.”

A Rant About Facebook Profile Photos

There’s a website called “Help a Reporter” and I came across this request today:

“If you’re on Facebook, who’s in your photo and why? Do you just depict yourself or maybe a display of your kids. Maybe it’s you and your significant other. Who’s in the photo and why? And do you have any feelings on the choices other people make? Seeing just someone’s kids in their photo makes you think … ? Ditto for email addresses like Share your thoughts. Thank you.”

My response:

Hi there,
I have 3 kinds of Facebook profile photos: 
  1. Me doing something funny or crazy (making fun of the Rocky statue, snowboarding tricks, etc) with nobody else in the photo
  2. When I’m interviewing for jobs, I put up a very standard photo of myself, in a suit or other situation where I look presentable 
  3. Me looking like the pimp that I am, with each arm around an attractive woman
My pet peeves of profile photos:
  1. Huge group photos – congratulations, you have friends. That I can barely make out your face leads me to believe you’re the ugliest one in the photo. By far. Otherwise, why would you hide in the crowd on your own profile page?
  2. Photo of you with your significant other (unless it’s hysterical). Do you really need to advertise how whipped you are? It’s bad enough you don’t say “I” or “me” anymore and that everything is “we”, but you can’t even have your own identify on Facebook? If you have her in your photo, but she doesn’t have you, you’re probably gonna get dumped. If you both have it, I just threw up a little in my mouth.
  3. Random cartoon / celebrity / political movement photo. You’re about as original as Rocky V.
  4. Photo of you with a baby that’s not your kid. This can be effective if you’re trying to scare guys away, otherwise who cares about the random child you played with for 4 seconds at Aunt Sallie’s house 5 months ago? He’s probably adopted anyway.

Let me know your pet peeves in the comments section… You can also email with the subject “FACEBOOK PHOTO” by 6PM on October 18th if you want to have a chance to be included in their article.