I recently read “You Can Negotiate Anything: The world’s best negotiator tells you how to get what you want” by Herb Cohen. Below are the quotes I found most interesting. If you like them, buy the book.
“In today’s world a wise boss always negotiates for the commitment of his employees. What is a boss? Someone with formal authority who attempts to get people to do voluntarily what must be done.” (18)
“You and I know that the best way to shaft a boss these days-to transform him into a shaftee with you being the shaftor—is to do precisely what he or she tells you to. When told what to do, you write it down and ask, “Is this what you want?” Then you proceed to comply, literally.
Two weeks later, your boss runs up to you and blurts,
“What happened?”
You reply, “I don’t know. I did exactly what you told me to do.”
We have a name for that in today’s world. We call that phenomenon “Malicious Obedience.” (18)
“You never want an employee to do exactly what you tell him to do. You want him to occasionally do what you don’t tell him to do … often what you can’t tell him to do, because many problems can’t be anticipated.” (19)
In every negotiation in which you’re involved—in every negotiation in which I’m involved—in fact, in every negotiation in the world (from a diplomatic geopolitical negotiation to the purchase of a home) —three crucial elements are always present:
- Information. The other side seems to know more about you and your needs than you know about them and their needs.
- Time. The other side doesn’t seem to be under the same kind of organizational pressure, time constraints, and restrictive deadlines you feel you’re under.
- Power. The other side always seems to have more power and authority than you think you have.
(19)
“All power is based on perception. If you think you’ve got it, then you’ve got it. If you think you don’t have it, even if you have it, then you don’t have it. In short, you have more power if you believe you have power and view your life’s encounters as negotiations.” (20)
“1. Am I comfortable negotiating in this particular situation?
- Will negotiating meet my needs?
- Is the expenditure of energy and time on my part worth the benefits that I can receive as a result of this encounter?
Only if you, as a unique individual, can answer yes to all three of these questions should you proceed to negotiate.” (30)
“To begin with, don’t define yourself too narrowly. Don’t regard yourself as someone who wants to buy a refrigerator. Regard yourself as someone who wants to sell money. Money is the product that’s up for sale. The more people there are who want your money, the more your money will buy. How do you get people to bid for that money? You generate competition for it.” (31)
“In a fundamental sense, every negatotiation is for the satisfaction of needs. Sears presents you with a $489.95 asking price that meets its needs… but hwat about yours.” (32)
“You can also ask, “When is it going on sale?” or “Did I miss the sale?” The assumption is that, if it’s not currently on sale, it either will be or just was. There’s no earthly reason why you should be penalized for awkward timing.” (33)
“The key to making an ultimatum prevail is always the extent to which the other side makes an investment of time and energy.” (35)
“The success of a nibble is in direct proportion to the amount of time invested. No time investment, no dice. That’s why you should always induce the other side to invest in a situation. And that’s why your initial approach to a negotiation should always be collaborative, as though you’re hungry for help.” (39)
“In negotiation, dumb is often better than smart, inarticulate frequently better than articulate, and many times weakness can actually be strength. So train yourself occasionally to say,
“I don’t know,” “I don’t understand,” “You lost me some time ago,” or “Help me,” when these phrases suit your purposes.” (40)
“Moral don’t be too quick to “understand” or prove your intellect at the outset of an encounter. Watch your listen-talk ratio. Learn to ask questions, even when you think you might know the answers.
Furthermore, if you approach others asking for help, it tends to set the climate for a mutually beneficial relationship.
At the least, you’ll cause the other side to make an investment that ultimately accrues to your advantage.
Making the ultimatum stick
In some of the illustrations discussed earlier, ultimatums were used. Ultimatums are commonly employed, whether by a parent giving a child the “last and final proposal” regarding a curfew or by a union approaching the wire in collective bargaining.
For your ultimatum to succeed, it must meet four criteria:
- Frosting on the cake. The other side must have no other choice or they must have such an investment that they can’t fold their cards and walk away. Therefore, an ultimatum must come at the end of a negotiation, never at the beginning.
You can’t frost a cake until you bake it. - Soft and palatable. The words used must never belittle or offend the other side. “Hard” ultimatums, such as “Take it or leave it!” or “It’s this or else!” are self-defeating. “Soft” ultimatums are palatable because they’re simply a statement of your reality. Example: “I certainly understand your pre-dicament. Your position is valid, but this is all I’ve got. Help me.”
- A recipe that can’t be tampered with. It’s always wise • to back up your final position with some form of documentation or legitimacy. Example: “You deserve what you’re asking for. I wish I could give it to you, but this is all I have in my budget!” (43)
“in order to influence an outcome—in politics, poker, or nego-tiation-you must realistically analyze the other side’s posi-tion, as well as your own, in light of three ever-present tightly interrelated variables:
- POWER
- TIME
- INFORMATION” (50)
“never enter a negotiation without options. If you do, the other side will treat you lightly, as in the needing-a-job and the selling-an-idea examples I just gave you.” (58)
“6. The power of the knowledge of “needs”
In all negotiations, there are two things being bargained for:
- The specific issues and demands, which are stated openly.
- The real needs of the other side, which are rarely verbalized.” (68)
“If you can establish a reasonable guess about what someone’s needs are, you can predict, with remarkable certainty, what will happen in any interaction.” (69)
“My point is this: If you have something difficult to negoti-ate-an emotional issue, or a concrete item that can be stated numerically, such as price, cost, interest rate, or salary-cope with it at the end of a negotiation, after the other side has made a hefty expenditure of energy and a substantial time investment.
What if the emotional issue or quantifiable item surfaces at the beginning of the negotiation? Acknowledge it, chat about it, but put it off till later—returning to it only after the other side has spent a lot of time with you. You’ll be surprised how the other side’s investment will cause them to become flexible at the end of the negotiation.” (73)
“If someone at Macy’s makes you feel good, important, or at least comfortable and understands your needs, you’ll identify with and favor Macy’s, even if Bloomingdale’s offers something that looks better. That’s why your ability to have others identify with you is crucial, whomever you’re dealing with and for whatever reason.” (76)
“Even if someone has the law on his side and theoretically can crush you, if you say, “You can do anything you want with me… but would it be the right thing?”” (80)
“ask the other party if it was fair and right. Not surprisingly, that question shakes up even the most worldly, self-seeking, and jaded.” (81)
“Logic, in and of itself, will rarely influence people. Most often logic doesn’t work.
If you want to persuade me to believe something, do some-thing, or buy something, you must rely on three factors:
- I have to understand what you’re saying. It’s imperative that you put your reasons into analogies that relate to my experiences, my particular imprinting. In order to do this, you must enter my world. (That’s why it’s so hard for you to negotiate with someone who’s stupid or who you think is a lunatic.)
- Your evidence must be so overwhelming that I can’t dispute it.
- My believing you must meet my existing needs and desires.” (85)
“Moral: If you want to persuade people, show the immediate relevance and value of what you’re saying in terms of meeting their needs and desires.” (87)
“Therefore, in any negotiation expect most significant concession behavior and any settlement action to occur close to the deadline. That being the case, if I know your deadline and you don’t know mine, who has the advantage?” (92)
“In general, the reason we are at odds on an issue may stem from three areas of difference:
- Experience. You and I do not see things as they are. We see things as we are.
- Information
- Role
(159)
“The answer may lie in finding out who’s important to the boss and getting those people to help you influence him.” (178)
“Even when you are right, shun all opportunities to humiliate people— at least in public. Remember this, not only for them, but for yourself as well.” (193)
“Anytime an idea, proposal, or request calls for a change in the current handling of affairs, it requires a personal oral presentation. Documents, letters, and phone calls may precede or follow such a meeting, but they are not persuasive in themselves.” (211)
“”What if the president of Mexico showed up? Would you have a room for him?”
“it señor …”
I blew a smoke ring toward the ceiling. “Well, he’s not coming, so I’ll take his room.”
Did I get a room? You bet, but I had to promise that if the president arrived, I would vacate immediately.” (228)
“If you do not want a policy or regulation to govern your situation, be prepared to demonstrate that the framers of this rule never intended it to cover your unique facts.” (230)
“You should never dress like a fashion plate when entering an IRS office. Don’t look like a bum, but also don’t resemble the front cover of Gentlemen’s Quarterly or Harper’s Bazaar.” (231)
“The person you deal with will feel comfortable with you, and riendly toward you, only if he or she can identify with you.” (231)
“Your name is called. Simultaneously, a designated auditor steps forward to greet you. At this point-and throughout the transaction-your attitude is one of pure “Help me!” You personalize yourself, coming across as a reasonable, likable friendly human being. Are you argumentative? To the contrary. Are you defensive? Absolutely not. You’re there to be cooperative. Butter wouldn’t melt in your mouth.” (231)
“If you are to negotiate effectively, the other party must not see you as a statistic, a thing, a commodity, or an article of com-merce. If you present yourself as a unique, vulnerable human being, there is greater likelihood that you will get what you want.” (240)
“This fact is implicit in the reputed comment of Samuel Adams, just prior to the American Revolution. During the planning of the Boston Massacre, Adams was reported to have said something to this effect: “There ought to be no fewer than three or four killed so we will have martyrs for the Revolution. However, there should be no more than twenty, because once you get beyond that number we no longer have martyrs, but simply a sewage problem.”” (240)
“Accordingly, to maximize your impact as a negotiator— no matter whom you are dealing with-you must personalize both yourself and the situation.” (241)
“It’s easy for people to shaft others if they don’t see them in personal terms.” (250)
Liked the quotes? Buy the book here.
