Performance Critique: September 29a

Hosting an open mic

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrFPncDg88E

0m56s It should be “liter of wine straight out of the bottle” not bottle twice in the same sentence

2m37s Cut the everything is open line and point out why can’t I pick the place for my birthday

2m50s There should’ve been a line before this

3m11s This should’ve been earlier

3m30s Should’ve done this at the top of the joke

3m57s The order of the whole joke is messed up

4m29s Say “wouldn’t be” instead of “wouldn’t have”

5m29s Change the word order, make the wish first then blow out the candle

6m29s Doing time between comics

Overall: Response wise it was great, but I butchered the order of my new joke. The order on the birthday stuff is important so I can build up sympathy upfront and then get mean as a response, instead of just starting off mean.

Performance Critique: September 28

A bar show

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJrC4Qdh_Es

0m19s Good pause and stare

1m01s Work on a stronger “depression in the eye” act out

2m23s Good act out, figure out a way to recreate that

2m42s It should be “important enough” not “good enough”

4m17s The flexible line should be before the cancer line

5m18s Cut “linner” it only worked once

5m50s Good improvised line

6m29s Pause after “happy birthday” if it gets a laugh

6m54s Decent second dick joke

7m18s Good improvised save

8m12s Great improvised call back save

Overall: Very good set, I did 4 or 5 new minutes in the middle that went decently well.

Performance Critique: September 27b

The 9:30 show for like five people

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5KzE0sDFJM

0m37s Address the “too big and black” comment

1m35s Don’t tell them “that’s all the jokes I’m gonna do” or “you may not laugh” just say “this is gonna be real shit”

1m57s It should be “designated audience member for sadness”

2m24s Cut the dentist line

3m15s Instead of “her response” say “it quickly devolves to”

5m08s Cut “right now”

5m20s At least save lines and acknowledging the situation works

5m51s Punch up her line, maybe “you must wait for special surprise”

6m36s Add word “normal” before “nine to five”

6m54s I can add “the saddest thing is, I only had one dick joke”

Overall: Weak set. Started on a few good laughs off of improvising, and ended on a laugh from a save line, and then barely got anything on the new material in the middle. New stuff has potential but needs rewrites and tightening.

Performance Critique: September 27a

Going second at a music and comedy mic

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGuVvx0yJ_s

1m16s Explain safe word quicker, I should have a funny safe word, maybe a washed up celebrity

3m00s Cut the dentist thing and get to her act out quicker

3m41s I need a stronger response before her next line

4m40s Say “she STILL had a decent figure”

5m32s instead of “he” say “the guy in the front”

6m49s Try to make it “why won’t you work a normal nine to five”

7m18s Impressive that I know I was on for exactly seven minutes at this point

8m10s Start yelling the safety word

9m10s Have her say my name during the “no”

10m06s More definite motion for “you’re welcome” commit to the physicality

10m40s Most people say head first, I could’ve asked why feet first

Overall: Weak set. I know better than to do only new stuff to start, but still choose to, and paid for it.

Performance Critique: September 26

Hosting a mic

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qXs31KTh3M

0m55s I should develop more material on what it means if someone doesn’t have a safe word yet

1m31s Cut the dentist line

1m48s That’s a good off the cuff line “you got sad real quick, your childhood must’ve been worse than mine” try to reuse that

2m16s Instead of “everything is open” name a shitty sounding restaurant as a defense

3m01s The conversation giving me cancer part should be first, then the tests

4m35s Don’t mention crying til the end of the joke

5m26s Needs a funnier second line

5m38s Good idea to work the safe word into the cake

Overall: Ok for a mic. I worked out new stuff, got some laughs, just need to tighten the material.

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