Category: Comedy

Headlining a bar show

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DPA-12h_40

0m43s Fix this tag, there’s potential but it’s not fully clear

2m22s Pause for another half second, they might eventually get it

3m09s “Elton” doesn’t work, go back to “Jesus”

3m51s Change “ask me” to “wonder”

4m22s End the response after “I love that Donkey”

4m43s Good line

5m00s Act out the guy

5m50s At least I cut this joke done from 2:30 to 1:00, but it’s still not working

9m25s This joke is clearer weaker than the other jokes

Part 2

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_hrENo2to8

0m32s Be careful to say the same line of “nobody believes me” and not “no one believes me”

Overall: Lost part of the crowd in the middle when checks came out but I got them back towards the end.

Hosting the Sunday writer’s mic

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTtSCgyfFTw

0m43s Point first, then say the line

1m01s Not a great tag

2m52s Change heroin to alcohol or something more believable

Overall: Decent for working out new material

The 8pm show

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32HnAEkUbnI

0m44s Change the hair dryer and gun line

3m36s Be more expressive on “let Jesus shave you”

4m34s I can end the act out on “I love that Donkey”

5m30s I might be able to get rid of the line “and then Jewel screwed me over”

6m21s Combine this into one line, “Zeus Inc booked me here tonight”

7m55s Good job dealing with the phone going off

Overall: Decent but not great.

The 8pm show

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAuE4Dy0xTY

2m43s Missed the word “like” before knocking

3m52s Change to “When’d you see Shrek?”

4m18s If the fake out doesn’t wwork like here, over explain it even more

6m41s Take a beat between “I like that one too” and my next line

8m35s This joke isn’t ready for prime time

9m22s I got the light and ended but the MC wasn’t in the room so I couldn’t leave the stage

Overall: Decent but awkward ending

A warm up mic before a real show

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtYem8-4EYU

1m56s Say this before the “I actually love my dad” line

2m53s Make the sound effects and make the concept clearer

4m42s Change heroin to something more believable

Overall: Tighten the jokes.