Category: Comedy

A Sunday night bar show

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYrIYPVZwAA

0m40s I seem pissed off, don’t

2m42s Stop after each of those lines, I’m going too fast

4m38s My third favorite response after laughter and applause is someone choking on their drink/food

6m10s Completely unnecessary sidebar, but it’s funny to me

6m49s Make the diagram much bigger and do each part with a different hand

7m18s Add a couple of more thoughts after “Do we want him to follow us home?” like “That could be fun” and “We’ve always wanted a New York adventure”

7m58s Say “Mom before daughter”, not “Mom and daughter”

Part 2

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQDKnRy9z_k

1m32s I need to figure out how to get people on board with that joke

Overall: Ehh. I got laughs but they weren’t that loud. The mobile adoption center joke still doesn’t work, so I shouldn’t end on it.

The Sunday writer’s mic

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0719iME_6Q

0m43s Deliver the scratched line more playfully

1m25s Say it more playfully, don’t deadpan

2m43s Try changing “TiVo” to “DVR”

Overall: I tried to change the ending of an old joke and added a callback to it, and then tried out a new joke that needs work

The 8pm show

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09dVkl9ThbY

0m43s Good job addressing the situation, as I could see people turning around and looking

1m36s It’s always fun to make up what the audience is saying, the key is to do it quickly before they actually say something and correct you

3m45s This is working really well now

4m33s I can throw in a joke about the waitresses here too

4m54s Call out the guy who’s applauding

6m14s An applause break during checks is pretty rare

6m42s I might want to address the “whoooo…” and make a joke about it

Overall: I was doing great til the checks came then I did just okay, but at least I was able to keep partial attention throughout checks

The 8pm show

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a60_zAlGOGg

5m28s Try saying, “it’s okay, it’s starting to turn me on”

5m46s Pause before “so I just bought them all”

6m26s Keep the same voice throughout that line

6m54s Call out the “half the room is republican” thing

Overall: Weird set. The laughs weren’t as loud as usual but I got a couple of short applause breaks. At least I didn’t get unexpected groans during the shoes joke.

A bar show in a hot room without air conditioning

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0Z1AKr0jJI

1m55s Call it a Venn diagram

2m10s Make my bar chart smaller

3m22s Cut this line

4m10s And cut everything from the previous note to here

6m08s The van joke needs to be clearer, people are missing my whole confounding / combining cell phone plans and child adoption

6m44s Slightly meaner than needed

Overall: This is why you shouldn’t do a bunch of untested jokes in a row at a real show. There is a lot of fat on these newer jokes that needs trimming and rewriting.