Category: Comedy Books

I recently finished reading “Zen and the Art of Stand-Up Comedy” by Jay Sankey and I highly recommend it if you’ve been doing comedy consistently for at least a couple of years as this book is more advanced in lots of places. Below are the quotes I found most interesting, as always, if you like the quotes, please buy the full book.

“Stand-up is a public act of sharing, between an individual and a group.” (xvii)

“Most comics are extremely sensitive, relatively insecure, very insightful, highly intelligent people. Strong individuals rather than group members, with a burning desire to share what they think and feel (at least while onstage). Theirs is the perspective of the Outsider, the observer, a perspective that undoubtedly has a truth to it, but also one that is often unusually myopic.” (5)

“Comics tend to feel strangely separated from society.” (5)

“Many of the most successful female comics seem to talk more about being human than being female.”(8)

“I often ask myself, “What do people care about?” – a question I believe to be one of the real keys to this craft.” (14)

“If you’re funny, there’s probably a decent idea behind most funny thoughts you will ever have. It’s just a matter of finding the right context and the right way of doing it.” (15)

“The difference between wit that gets belly laughs and wit that gets bored silence is not only a matter of the style the material is both written and delivered in, but also a matter of the degree to which the audience cares about the subject.” (18)

“The success of the material often comes down to four elements: surprise, credibility, truth and exaggeration.” (24)

“For a joke to be credible, it must be believable in two ways. It must be believable in relation to the character, and it must be believable in relation to the world… So when writing a joke, keep in mind that the audience must be able to believe that the joke suits your stage character and the world, at least as that character sees it.” (26)

“Realize that exaggeration often works best if it still somehow echoes the truth.” (28)

“Strong writing creates a single image for everyone in the crowd, each person imagining a very similar thing.” (36)

“If they don’t care, they’re not going to laugh.” (37)

“When you begin to list stuff to a crowd, it immediately undercuts the idea that you are spontaneously speaking “off the top of your head.” (39)

“Any limitations you perceive in your audience are more often an expression of your own limitations as a thinker and a communicator than anything else.” (43)

“The longer the set up, the stronger the punch line must be.” (45)

“You should keep in mind that the greater the amount of time elapsing between a callback and the information you’re calling back to, the greater the chance of people not remembering.” (45)

“The most successful comics tend to play characters that are two things: real and exaggerated.” (55)

“Successful stand-ups tend to concentrate on one or two of the pieces of their pie, and then exaggerate the degree to which these real characteristics dominate their personality. That way, they get to draw energy from real-life characteristics, but they also present a character who is inherently theatrical and powerful onstage.” (55)

“The two most important qualities you should strive to obtain are Likability and Vulnerability.” (57)

“There’s an old show biz expression, “If they like you, you can do no wrong. And if they don’t like you… good luck.” (57)

“Truly effective hooks, with staying power and credibility, tend to naturally grow out of a character and act developed over many years.” (62)

“Here’s the problem: The more unusual and atypical your approach to stand-up, the more memorable and distinctive you will be. But… the more distinctive you are, the more limited your appeal might well be, the less accessible your act is, and the more doors will be closed to you.” (62)

“You should think of the material you choose for your first few minutes as “defining.” (65)

“The degree to which other comics can use your material, and still have good success with it, is the degree to which your material is impersonal and unoriginal.” (66)

“The jokes a comic becomes famous for are jokes that only he or she can get away with.” (66)

“As a rule of thumb, I wear lighter-colored shirts at bar gigs and “one-nighters” because they tend to have poor lighting and I want to make sure my face and body really “pull the eyes” from across the room. I want to be very watchable. In club gigs I always try to wear a shirt that is a simple contrast to whatever wall is behind me. And if I don’t know the room beforehand, I’ll often bring two shirts so I have a choice.” (71)

“Deliver each line as if it’s your last (at least on that particular subject). Try to forget that you have several more tags to the punch line.” (80)

“One of the keys to surprising or shocking people in a way that results in laughter is to try to challenge people without making them feel threatened. This can be a real tightrope walk, because if you don’t run the risk of threatening them, of really challenging their prejudices, then you may well not create enough tension to generate big, loud laughs. Also, if your comedy isn’t really challenging people, presenting some fresh and sometimes shocking ideas to them, your material may be derivative, unoriginal pap.” (88)

“There is a very thin line indeed between seeming brave and confident and seeming brash and inconsiderate.” (90)

“Pronounced effort is any aspect of performance not only is often distracting but also can send a signal of insecurity and lack of control to the audience.” (98)

“[At the start] Try to give the impression that you are simply continuing something, something that goes on offstage as much as it does onstage.” (105)

“When first taking the stage and beginning to speak, you do not want to give the impressin of beginning a prewritten monologue. Strive instead to give the impression that yes, you have begun to share your thoughts and feelings with the audience, but the thoughts and feelings have been with you all day.” (105)

“The only thing that keeps the audience in their seats is wondering what’s going to happen next.” –David Mamet (108)

“The crowd looks to you to see how they should feel about what you are doing and saying, and if you look like you’re having fun, they’re going to be tempted to join in.” (112)

“Good comics have a relaxed air of strength about them.” (113)

“Most pros are strong; far fewer are actually aggressive. The difference is this: Strength suggests, while Aggression shows. Strength silently states, while Aggression shouts. And there’s something about shouting that betrays a need, even a fear. And fear is the enemy, especially when it comes to performing.” (114)

“Though it takes years to be a fine stand-up comic, it’s essential that you eventually come to believe that you are funny and have a right to be up on that stage, telling jokes in front of all those people. Offstage, a little self-doubt will take you far. But onstage, there’s no place for doubt.” (114)

“Experienced comics never seem to be “asking” a crowd for anything. Not approval, not laughter, nothing. They seem to just be speaking their minds, being who they are. Appearing relaxed and confident, the crowd in turns relaxes, confident that the comic not only is going to be funny, but is funny. Consequently, the audience is in the ideal state of mind to laugh and laugh freely.” (115)

“Great art is the concealing of art.” (117)

“There seems to be only one way to become excellent at something, and make it look so damn easy, and that’s by working so damn hard.” (117)

“There are millions of jokes out there waiting to be conceived, and stage time is too precious to waste on weak material.” (122)

“There’s no substitute for hard work, caring strongly about what you do, and a healthy dose of self-doubt.” (125)

“Always remind yourself, “Tonight doesn’t really matter. What matters is the performer I’m going to be five years form now.” I still tell myself that.” (126)

“It’s during transitions that the comic runs the greatest risk of losing focus, both the audience’s and his own.” (131)

“We all know how restrictive it can feel to have someone expect something from us, especially when we aren’t sure we want to give it to them.” (131)

“Coming onstage to the right sound can set a tone for your act before you’ve even opened your mouth.” (134)

“It’s often a good idea for your opening joke to have unusually broad appeal.” (141)

“Also, keep your first joke short.” (141)

“It’s a good idea to present material that expresses a variety of different rhythms and structures. If all your jokes are approximately the same length, with approximately the same number of tags, it can create an effective rhythm, but it also can grow tedious, especially in longer sets.” (142)

“It’s a very good idea to be able to cover a rich range of feelings in that character.” (143)

“Her second to last joke was a very graphic bit about oral sex, then she quickly closed her show with a safer, cuter joke… Several people comment on how clean her act was. She had done a very clever thing, not ending with a dirty joke, which would leave the crowd with a last impression of her as a blue comic, but putting it right near the end, to really goose the audience’s final response.” (144)

“[in long sets] plan for periods in your set where you push them and periods where you let them breathe a bit. Plan your peaks and valleys.” (147)

“When headlining, variety is more important than ever.” (147)

“The very characters that are so interesting and successful during short sets sometimes fail during longer sets.” (147)

“It’s one of the classic frustrations of the craft that, in attempting to develop a simple, unique, and memorable style, every comic runs the risk of being too easily categorized or becoming uninteresting after a short period of time.” (148)

“Whatever the situation or crowd, think twice before expending too much energy too soon. Remember, if you start slowly, you can always speed things up.” (153)

“With a small crowd a comic is usually more successful if he delivers his material in a more intimate, conversational fashion.” (153)

“Being the first comic to hit the stage, and in a sense, set a tone for the entire show, it’s absolutely essential that an MC’s character appeals to a very broad demographic.” (160)

“When you’re headlining at a comedy club you can take your time. But a really tough gig can be like a street fight between you and the crowd. Generally speaking, whoever swings first and connects, ins. Take your show to them. Your character, your jokes, your energy. All of it.” (167)

“When one finds oneself feeling weak, admitting to it can be very self-empowering.” (173)

“As soon as one cherishes the thought of winning the contest or displaying one’s skill in technique, one’s swordmanship is doomed.” – Takano Shigeyoshi (175)

“You will be doing both yourself and the crowd a big favor by accepting the following fact: Not everyone will always love you.” (175)

“Sometimes no matter how good you are or how hard you work, things don’t always come together when you want them to. That’s life, and one can either accept ir or one can vainly fight against it.” (176)

“During your entire career, no money will ever be better spent than the money you spend on your promotional package.” (178)

“Whether you are experimenting with your material, your character, or your promo, your first mandate is to always get the attention of your audience.” (179)

“Every single piece of your package should reflect a similar style or tone, ideally that of your character and comedic perspective. So when trying to choose a color of paper, a typeface, or anything else, keep your character’s key words in mind, and do your best to have your choices reflect a similar sensibility. For example, if you character is bookish and insightful, choose an academic-looking typeface. If your character is a bit crazier and off-the-wall, choose a more eccentric typeface. But beware the temptation to try to be funny in your package. More often than not, it comes across as strained and actually works against you.” (180)

“In show business, the biggest risk is not taking any risks.” (182)

“When putting together a set for a comedy festival, there are two classic approaches, very much depending on your objectives. If you want to get booked into other comedy clubs, you’ll probably want to choose a group of jokes that express a single, concentrated character and perspective. The goal, as always, will be to be memorable. However, if your goal is to impress television people, you might better go with a set that gives you a chance to show a variety of abilities, from tight writing to acting to pacing, etc.” (186)

“When delivering their material, many pros make a point of delivering their set-ups to the studio audience, and their punch lines to the camera.” (188)

“Comics with a lot of television experience often make sure they can end their set with any one of their last three jokes, just in case.” (189)

“Many artists jump into the waters of their art wearing a life preserver, and more often than not, it’s the life preserver that drowns them.” –Henry Miller (193)

“In some bar gigs, taking a beer onstage with you can make you “one of the crowd,” and that can be a good thing” (194)

“One minute I’m the best album of the year, the next I’m the worst thing that’s ever been created on earth. So if I want to go on that roller-coaster ride, then I’m an idiot.” –Alanis Morissette (194)

“Every show is not so much an end in itself, but a means to something much bigger and better. Namely, a funnier me. Perhaps without even realizing it, the crowd has paid to come watch me… learn.” (194)

“Where I am is important, but so is where I’m going.” (195)

“The longer one practices a craft, the harder one has to work to continue learning.” (195)

“Lulls in progress, both artistically and careerwise, can be frustrating, puzzling, even depressing. But remember, it’s at times like this that the hobbyists get out of the business, and the real, die-hard comics hang in. Do everything you can to try not to let it get to you.” (196)

“As you progress as a stand-up comic, the valleys between the mountains will grow wider and sometimes even deeper. But have faith. Keep giving of your heart and time to your craft, and with a little luck, another mountain will be yours.” (197)

“It’s not about being “too smart” or “too hip” for the room. Have you ever heard a mechanic say he wasn’t able to solve a problem with a car engine because he was “too clever?” (200)

“I force myself to own up to certain hard truths, particularly after a rough show, is by asking myself, “Can I think of a comic, any comic, who could’ve done more with that crowd?” And if the answer is “Yes” then I am, once again, left holding the responsibility bag.” (201)

“The “greats” of almost any discipline or profession tend to think of themselves as amateurs, as students, forever trying to learn more about there area of interest or so-called expertise.” (202)

“I now try to accept the situation for what it is, and put my energy toward making the most of the situation.” (207)

“As a performing artist, one of the things that one eventually has to leave behind is fear of failure.” (209)

If you liked the quotes, click here to buy the book.

I just finished reading “The Last Laugh: The World of Stand-Up Comics” by Phil Berger. If you’re interested in comedy history from the 50’s to the 80’s this is an interesting read. Below are the quotes I found most interesting.

“The incident showed the cocksure feeling a comic had to have. Without it, he was a goner. An audience sensed fear. So comics made themselves larger than life.” (40)

“Lenny had the reputation for relying on his own wit. He was prolific, heeding what old pal Georgie Starr later prescribed as the only way for a comic: You’ve got to fuck and suck it and eat it night and day. Work on the material. Work on it. Work on it.” (79)

“Bruce took the chances. He was not afraid to fall flat on his arse with new material. There were those that saw him go gurgling down the drain one night and make thunder the next.” (86)

“Phil Leeds was a lovable little fellow who all comics loved. Never a major comic. And that’s why they all love him. Because comics love people who aren’t successful. That’s how they judge a good comic.” (98)

“Sometimes Klein would get a sly smile, as if a phrase had just occurred to him. It made whatever followed feel spontaneous.” (247)

“Confidence is experience. You cannot have true confidence on a stage in front of strangers without experience.” (392)

“Steve Martin got so big he couldn’t experiment. And he absolutely hated himself.” (401)

“For Kaufman, the idea was to provoke reaction, and nothing pleased him more than when his concepts triggered anger, confusion or even boredom, particularly when comic intentions appeared to be entangled in sticky reality.” (402)

“Kaufman saw how fantastic it was to have everybody hate him – what theater it was.” (407)

“Branch Rickey used to say, “Luck is the residue of design.”” (417)

““In a cabaret,” says Rollins, “if an audience can sense the personality underlying the comic – if they can make contact with that personality, they’ll enjoy him more. Even if the material is not that strong.” (423)

“The idea that comic success did not equate strictly to laughs was a lesson Brezner had learned from Rollins several years before.” (424)

“Jack said, “Lad, it’s not what you do on the stage that counts, it’s what’s on the stage when you’ve left.” Meaning, there are comics who make you laugh, and twenty-five minutes after, you’re left with nothing. Woody Allen didn’t give you huge laughs, but when he finished his last line, he’d taken on a persona over and above what he had done on stage.” (424)

“Robin Williams didn’t realize the potentially touching nature of the character. We convinced him at the end of his act to have the character say two or three funny things and then play the character for real. Told him not to worry if he gets laughs. Let the character talk about the foolishness of mankind. And then take the quiet moment and walk offstage. We felt that after forty-five minutes of hysteria… do this and he’d elevate himself to an energetic freethinking comic, and one who could act as well… and I tell you, when he took the quiet moment and walked offstage without a laugh, the applause was deafening. You know, sitting in the audience, you’d just seen something special. He’d touched you. He left something on stage for you.” (425)

As always, if you liked the quotes, click here to buy the full book.

I recently finished reading “Comic Insights: The Art of Stand-Up Comedy” by Franklyn Ajaye.

I can’t recommend this book enough if you’re at all interested in stand up comedy. Below are the quotes I found most interesting. Since part of this book is in interview format, I put in bold the person being quoted above their quotes.

Franklyn Ajaye Quotes:

“You must study their deliveries, their use of their bodies, their timing, and their use of audio and vocal effects.” (3)

“An aspiring comedian must be determined to get to his or her true feelings on a subject and convey that to the audience. Figure out what you’re feeling or interested in because the goal is to get the audience interested in what you’re interested in. Good stand up comedy is drawing people into your head.” (11)

“Originality is never embraced as quickly as the commonplace.” (12)

“Don’t try to give a funny opinion; give your opinion in a way that will be funny.” (12)

“When you take a pause before delivering your punch line, you will be using silence as a creative entity in itself.” (14)

“You must not be afraid of small bits of silence. To use it well is the height of confidence and skill for a comedian. It increases the tension in a good way and adds contrast like a curveball complements the fastball of a good pitcher.” (14)

“You can’t wait forever for an audience to get the joke, but you should give them at least two seconds to join in before you go on to the next one.” (15)

“Walking back and forth also helps by creating the illusion that you are thinking of the routines on the spot, giving your performance a more spontaneous feeling.” (15)

“Ideally, you want to be in a fifty-fifty power-sharing arrangement with the audience – both of you are there for a mutually enjoyable experience.” (17)

“Obviously the audience has veto power signified by whether they laugh or not, but you-not them-retain the ultimate power to decide what they’re going to get the opportunity to laugh at.” (18)

“A technique I developed quite naturally to help me make smooth transitions was to use a word or phrase from the next routine in the preceding one.” (18)

“Being a professional comedian is doing it right and good, when you don’t feel like it.” (37)

“Note the “quality” – not just the quantity – of the laugh that you’re getting. This is just as important – if not more – than just getting laughs. Cheap laughs are just that. Your jokes’ll be treated just like Chinese food. In an hour, people’ll be hungry for another comedian.” (38)

“In addition to listening to the audience’s laugh, you want to listen to their silence. Is it bored or interested silence? The silence is quieter and filled with energy when they’re interested. You can hear a pin drop. When they’re bored, you can always hear it.” (38)

“Bombing teaches you how badly you want to become a comedian. Because unless it’s a burning desire, you’ll quit when the consistent bombing becomes too much to take.” (40)

“Evaluate every performance on: stage presence, concentration, delivery, material and lessons learned.” (41)

“I wasn’t able to showcase myself to my satisfaction on television until I did one very important thing: I started treating television as though it were just another night at a club. I stopped ruminating continuously over my television set and thinking about its potential significance. This started with my last few shots with Johnny Carson when I realized why my spots hadn’t seemed as funny to me as my club sets. I realized that the extra thought and preparation actually worked against me. Once I adopted this new attitude, I started doing television spots that I was happy with. But let me stress that this was just my approach.” (44)

“I advise treating the studio audience like a nightclub audience because that’s the reason you’re doing television – to get them to come see you in a nightclub.” (45)

“If you do stories, or material with a lot of tags, or afterthought lines, you’ll probably have to cut those out. In other words, you’ll have to strip-mine your material and “lean” it up for time constraints.” (45)

“Be prepared to cut your little extra lines that come after a big punchline and move on to the next joke or routine to give your set more punch and crispness. You can keep them in your set, but if the audience applauds your big line, don’t do your tag when it dies down, just move on.” (45)

“Doing panel well is actually more important than doing a good stand-up spot because it’s when the audience observes you in a more “conversational” mode and decides if they like your personality – which is one of the real keys to popularity.” (46)

“It’s better to play to the host as though in a real conversation and let the audience listen in- which they are.” (47)

Louie Anderson quotes:

“Whatever kind of person you are, that’s the kind of comedy that comes out.” (54)

“One services the gift of creativity by always taking a bigger chance. No matter if you fail or not.” (55)

“The secret behind timing is to hold whatever you’re going ot say until you absolutely have to say it.” (57)

“On television you can wait a little longer and you won’t lose ‘em. If you rush it, you’ll fuck it up.” (57)

“I like to believe that the audience is smart, and I refuse to hit people over the head with my lines.” (57)

“I found out that a lot of movement was better than a lot of words. A lot of expressions would get me a lot more mileage than any word, ‘cause if I just give the expression, then you have to make up the word and your word will be stronger than mine ever could be.” (58)

Richard Beltzer quotes:

Creativity’s a blessing and a curse. If you don’t tend to it, it can do other things to you. That’s why we feel so good when we’re being creative – because we’re doing the right thing.” (65)

Elayne Boosler quotes:

“Whatever city I’m in, I read their paper because I think it’s just great if you can go up and bounce off ten or twenty minutes of local news because you’re an outsider coming in and looking at them.” (73)

“I had a friend once tell me, if you can’t write anything on a particular day, take three extraneous word out of an existing joke, and that’ll be your day’s work.” (75)

“No personal checks, no cashier’s checks, only certified checks, only bank checks always paid before the last performance. Never performing with any monies outstanding. Round-trip tickets so you’re not left, mandatory deposit at least thirty days ahead, guarantee that they’ll spend “x” amount of dollars on advertising for my appearance. You get no comps, the tickets belong to me – if you want to have guests, you pay me for them. Your club, my tickets. It’s hardball and it’s ugly and it’s horrible every time. It never gets better.” (75)

George Carlin quotes:

“You have to start with where your true attitudes and beliefs start.” (84)

“When I read or think of something, I don’t immediately think it’s funny, but I become aware that it has a potential for what I call “comic distortion.” (85)

“The artist and the scientist parts of the brain have to work together. One side is point out to you all these ironies, and the other side has to sort them out and organize them into patterns.” (86)

“You have to find the patterns of your thinking. Like I have thoughts about social concerns, thoughts about little funny wordplay things thoughts about values that I feel are important in life, and once a month I go through them and read them, and sort them into piles based on their patterns or topics. I find that when I do this sorting out, it helps me see the possibilities for connections. I can see something that relates to something that I might’ve done the week before.” (86)

“If it’s important enough for you to think of, and important enough for you to drive someplace, stand up, and tell people to be quiet so you can tell them about it, that’s gotta be in your voice and your delivery.” (87)

Ellen Degeneres Quotes:

“The audience came to see you, and you don’t let them dictate the pace of the show. You set the pace and then they can go along with it. Sometimes you have drunk people who want to yell out when you have those pauses, and that’s really aggravating, but the more you stick to it, the people who enjoy that will keep coming back to see you. So you crate your own audience and eliminate those with short attention spans.” (95)

“You have to look at everything as though it’s getting you ready. And you’re getting closer and closer each time.” (101)

Richard Jeni quotes:

“I don’t know if it’s so much instinctive as it was a result of noticing how much the audience likes it when you physicalize it, because really what you’re doing when you do comedy is you’re trying to paint a picture in somebody’s mind. And the more vivid the picture is, the better chance you have of getting them to laugh at your idea. It’s like the difference between a book and a movie.” (104)

“When you’re trying to be experimental at the beginning, it’s almost the worst time to do that because the audiences you have are terrible. They’re small, drunk, hostile, and they have no respect for the show because it’s usually someplace that doesn’t inspire respect.” (106)

“I feel if you establish that you don’t have to go low, then you can go low for a couple of minutes just as a fun thing.” (109)

“”One of the most productive times to write, if you can keep from chasing the local women, is after the show. Because everything is charged in that direction. All those comedy switches are on.” (111)

“I didn’t start out as a guy doing a lot of voices and sounds. The thing that is really interesting: I couldn’t do a lot of these things when I first started out, and one of the reasons I couldn’t do them was because I didn’t believe that I could do them. But as time went on, I started to be able to do them, and as I started to get more confident that I could, I started to try more, and started to succeed – to where I end up today where you’re asking me how I do all these voices and sounds.” (113)

“I always felt that whatever success I’ve had as a comedian is because I don’t do any one thing great. But I do a lot of things pretty good, and it adds up to a whole that’s greater than the sum of its parts.” (113)

“I don’t talk about politics that much because the stuff that people laugh at the most are things they relate to on an emotional level.” (114)

Jay Leno Quotes:

“The one thing I learned very quickly was that your material will ascend or descend to the level of the room that you are playing.” (120)

“I’ve always told comedians that if you can do this for seven years, I mean physically make it to the stage for seven years, you’ll always make a living. If you’ve been in the business longer than seven years and you’re not successful, there’s probably another reason.” (125)

“When I got on stage, that was the first time that I did something where I did and thought about it at the same time. That was the only time that I was ever focused, and it’s still true today.” (126)

“”If you asked me if I’d rather be a comedian or The Tonight Show host, I’d be out of here tomorrow if I had to make a choice.” (126)

“If you try to change their mind, you’re no longer a comedian, then you’re a humorist, then you’re a satirist, then you’re out of show business.” (127)

“The good comedians always put the jokes above anything else. To me, the ideal joke is when you’ve got your stupid redneck over here and your college professor over here, and they both laugh at the same joke for different reasons. The professor is laughing because it’s clever and sees that you might mean something else, and the redneck is laughing at the obvious.” (128)

Richard Lewis Quotes:

“David Brenner told me that if you do a joke in front of 20,000 people and you just hear a titter, get it out of the act.” (142)

“I decided to charge a higher cover price and see if Richard Lewis fans will actually come to the nightclubs to get the room mainly filled with people who would come to see me in a concert hall. And it worked… I wanted to know if my material would work with my fans, not just with anybody who would come to any nightclub.” (144-145)

Bill Maher Quotes:

“As a comedian, you want to be in touch with as much as you can with everyday life, and the more successful you get, the more you become removed.” (160)

Paul Reiser Quotes:

“When you’re performing, your adrenaline will probably kick in and make you want to go faster, so slow down, and if you think you’re going too slow, slow down even more. Because your gauge is off. What you think is happening isn’t really happening because you’re so charged.” (167)

“Watching a mediocre comic will trigger you. You’re not inspired by greatness, you’re inspired by mediocrity.” (168)

“Getting on The Tonight Show is the easiest job in the world because all they look for is good comics. If you’re a good comic, there is no challenge, you’ll be on. The hard thing is getting good enough to be there.” (169)

“Cosby said that very often the most personal will turn out to be the most universal.” (170)

“How do I adapt to different arenas? One piece of advice given to me early on was just to put the room where you are most comfortable in your head. Like I know how to do the Catch a Rising Star club at two in the morning, but I don’t know how to do this theater, so when I’m at the theater I pretend it’s two in the morning at Catch a Rising Star. I know where I feel comfortable, and I know I feel funnier around certain people than others. So I get into the mindset, “Okay, where do I feel comfortable? I feel funny with these people in this situation and these circumstances.” So put yourself there and that will bring you out in your best light.” (173)

Chris Rock Quotes:

“Just be a big sponge and listen to people who you want to ignore. Really listen to them, because they’re going to say some little thing you can use. They can’t help it.” (177)

“Even though I know the jokes, I’m still looking for that ad-lib. I’m wondering, is it there, is it here?” (178)

“There’s definitely a jump from clubs to doing concerts. A concert is like a movie, like a play. It really should all tie together. It really should be a show, not just a collection of jokes.” (179)

“I felt that even if you don’t think it’s funny, I don’t want you to think it’s boring.” (182)

“I’d see guys getting mad ‘cause their career wasn’t moving, and I’d say, “Well write some new jokes.” Every new batch of jokes took me where it was gonna take me. When I stopped writing, the career stayed right there.” (182)

“I was aware I’d taken my career to another level when I got to the point where I wasn’t really competing with other comedians.” (183)

Roseanne Quotes:

“Everything has a message whether you think it does or doesn’t.” (192)

Jerry Seinfeld Quotes:

“I say, “I’m going to sit for an hour.” I always consider sitting the accomplishment.” (197)

“If people can get a quick sense of who you are, they relax. The worst I did was bomb every other show – which was tolerable.” (198)

“Bill Cosby once told me, “When you’re the pilot of the plane, you can’t come on the P.A. system and go, ‘Well, I’m gonna try and take her up.’”” (201)

Garry Shandling Quotes:

“You have to not give a shit in the best possible sense.” (211)

“You really have to be willing to bomb, and to fail, before you can be really good. If you’re afraid to fail, you’ll be bad. If you see an artist who’s really afraid to fail, it’s not someone you’re going to like, and it’s not someone who is doing real art. What they’re really doing is looking for approval.” (211)

“I remember Steve Garvey saying, “You’ve got 162 games, so you can’t ride an emotional roller coaster during a season.” So I applied that to stand up whenever I’d have a bad show.” (212)

“People don’t understand that you can’t do old material because it reflects something that you aren’t anymore. You might as well be another comedian. If you can do your old material and make it work, you’ve got a bigger problem. That means you’re stuck.” (212)

“Acceptance is a springboard to go deeper, because once the audience accepts that you’re funny, you no longer have to prove that. You’re now freer to explore.” (215)

Sinbad Quotes:

“The game I play with myself is, make it grow. Nobody else in the room has to know this. My game is to keep the waitresses looking and listening to me every night – because the waitresses that work at comedy clubs are your judge of comedy. My goal is, if you saw me twice, you got something different the next time.” (219)

“You can’t be scared to get rid of stuff, and you can’t limit yourself.” (220)

“Comics were made to be gypsies. We weren’t made to be contained. We’re not supposed to be able to come to a board meeting.” (220)

George Wallace Quotes:

“When I walk on stage, it’s basically me you’re buying. You’re not buying any particular joke, or anything like that. You’re buying George Wallace. My point of view is that I’m relaying a message that you would like to extend to yourself.” (232)

“My job is to have the antennas out. I’ve been on The Tonight Show for twenty years, but you can’t continue to do The Tonight Show for twenty years and not have the antennas out because you got to keep them with new stuff. That’s the difference in the comedians who do a lot of TV and those who don’t – new jokes.” (233)

“You have to be better doing panel than stand-up because that’s your personal moment. You’re delivering jokes in a different manner.” (234)

“Put your personality out first, ask the audience how they’re doing. ‘Cause there’s no reason for you to buy Coke over Pepsi; you’ve gotta like the salesperson who’s selling it.” (237)

“Enough people know me, and I know that I’m sharp enough after twenty years to know that now it’s my show and my stage no matter what happened before me. It might take me three minutes, but I’ll change the mood of the room.” (240)

Jonathan Winters Quotes:

“You gotta take more chances. You gotta be a gambler in your material. You’re gonna get your hands spanked every now and then, but you’re also gonna get some, “Hey, I loved what the guy said. I wonder if he said it off the top of his head.” (248)

Budd Friedman Quotes:

“More and more people are waiting now [turning down a network opportunity] because they know if they get a shot and it doesn’t work, they might get another one. Which is smart. I think you have to fight for what you know is right.” (264)

Irwin Arthur Quotes:

“He or she goes out and finds talent that they believe that they can find work for.  Sometimes you find people at the embryonic stage of their career, and you hope that you can grow with them as they develop.” (273)

“One of my secretaries in New York was a little blond lady named Joan Rivers, who I never believed would make it, but she had this perseverance that went beyond the limit.” (273)

“It certainly helps to represent people who are well known. People are calling you for them, and then we use that as a wedge to get the unknown person a job.” (273)

“You look for a likability, a stage presence, and you look for some kind of an intelligence in that there’s a beginning, middle, and end, or a potential for a beginning, middle, and end to apiece of material that a person is doing. You look for natural funniness.” (273)

“Always be compelled to do the best you can on any given night. That’s part of the discipline. Don’t ever throw a performing opportunity away. I can’t emphasize that enough.” (274)

“In the beginning, you’re looking for someone who has a stage presence to attract attention from the audience, and compel it to watch them. I firmly believe that it’s the persona first, and then the material.” (274)

“The first thing to remember is that the agent is looking for you. If you have talent, we want you as bad as you want us.” (275)

Buddy Morra Quotes:

“Someone once said to me that most performers spend most of their time waiting for the opportunity, instead of preparing for it. If you prepare for the opportunity, and you have the ability, the opportunity will come.” (282)

“Material is almost incidental. Someone once said years ago, “when the audience walks out, do they remember the joke, or do they remember the person?” If they remember the joke, you’re in trouble.” (283)

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I recently finished reading “Screenwriting 434” by Lew Hunter. Here are the quotes I found most interesting:

“The idea is the most important. The structure is second. Ironically, the script itself is least important. Of course it takes the most time. But a story and a script can be “fixed.” An idea can’t.” (20)

“Always pick stories that scream for visualization.” (22)

“Greek theater, Shakespeare, and actually everything of quality known to Western persons has a significant undertow of sex or violence or a combination of thereof. To deny it is insane and even worse, wrong.” (23)

“This does not mean blood and gore and naked bodies. Sometimes the most extreme form of violence is psychological violence.” (23)

“One screenwriter friend periodically comes out of his Bel Air cave and rides city buses without any geographic destination. His creative destination is to overhear “real people” talk for dialogue, stories, and scenes.” (28)

“If you get something in your writing teeth you have got to do, do it. Forget about the marketplace. Follow your obsession. Obsession makes the best screenplay character drive for screenplays, and obsession makes the best screenwriter drive for you.” (30)

“Forget writing for money, which means trying to second guess what the marketplace wants. By the time you write the screenplay, the marketplace will generally have gone on to another fad.” (35)

“I suddenly realized that I, by then, knew more overall than most people who had been catapulted into that tragedy of American history. It was time to stop researching and start writing. Too much research can be the disguise of procrastination or fear.” (35)

“Individualism is what makes screenplays great, not their uniqueness.” (40)

“Even if this “love story in a madhouse” or any of your scripts you write “on speculation” never sell, you must love the process. That should be more important to you than acceptance or sale. Make your principal reward the very act of writing. That will keep you psychologically afloat and able to handle those difficult and numerous rejections. (41)

“Forget making a living, being famous, or getting rich. If you’re targeted on any of these goals, you’ll fail yourself, your society, and your world.” (42)

“You have to make the audience care about your on-screen people and their dilemmas, and when that occurs you’ve created believable unbelievability. Audiences will just not get with a film that starts with what they perceive as unbelievable unbelievability.” (49)

“Beware of such “friends.” Yes, you need feedback because the isolation can be debilitating. Just make very sure it’s good feedback from an intelligent, feeling fellow human.” (55)

“Extremes are the best choice we all have.” (60)

“You want to establish your heavy is a monster. For instance, a character is about to rob a bank. Have him, just before opening the bank door, shoot an old lady’s dog. The audience will hate him. Ironically, probably much more so than if he had shot the old lady.” (75)

“The best flaw is obsession. Your hero should want something so badly, he or she will battle any equally obsessed heavy to get it against all odds. That is the supreme conflict.” (76)

“Every classic human heavy has one of two motivations. Greed or power. Period. Don’t look for more than greed or power. That’s it. Villainy emanates from those two motives.” (77)

“When you’re in a corner, always look to your characters to lead you out. They will show the way.” (81)

“People who can really matter in getting your script made may feel that your numbered characters are superficial, and hence that could carry over to the star roles.” (85)

“At all steps along the story way, make sure the scene you’re in was caused by the scene that went before. And the following scene you’re in was caused by the scene that went before. And the following scene is there because of the one you’re in. Keep that rhythm going and you’ll have a damned good story.” (89)

“Anticipation is often as wonderful, or as suspenseful, as the realization of the end result.” (97)

“John T. Kelley wrote: “No matter how little you feel like working, force your mind to continue thinking about the story or idea under consideration. Eventually the wheels will begin to turn. Usually it won’t take more than five or ten minutes at the most.” Jack London said: “You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.”” (98)

“Pick and start with the most passionate, exciting, funny, or tension-filled scene you can find.” (99)

“The audience’s “need to know” should always be in your story mind, but especially in Act One. Withhold as long as you can.” (100)

“Don’t ever rely on the last half of your script being brilliant. Few will get to that section if the first five and ten pages don’t happen and happen strong.” (132)

“Joseph Heller wrote Catch 22 from four to seven each morning, before taking the train into New York for his 9-5 advertising job.” (137)

“Life is when thing happen one after another. Structure is when things happen because of the other.” (162)

“The scenes in question have the couple waiting to learn about their son’s condition, and then being informed he has died. These are two potentially boring, obligatory scenes. I heightened the drama and the interest level by using the third party trick. You see, generally when someone else is in front of your two people, they can’t be so on-the-nose with their dialogue. Restrained subtext is what the scene’s dialogue must contain.” (172)

“A viewer cannot set a movie down. He can set a book down. He can stop, take a break, pick it up later. But when a viewer is bored for more than three or four minutes, the movie is irreparably harmed. The flow is broken.” (180)

“I am generally far more interested in being effective than right, and being effective means selling. During my thirty years of selling scripts I have been inculcated with a David Susskind admonishment about what “they” want: “Happy people with happy problems and happy endings.”” (268)

“Most of Hollywood hates unhappy endings. I recommend the happy, even ecstatic ending to make your script saleable. Later in the process, you can suggest considering the unhappy ending. The purchasing party will probably turn you down but you’ll be pleased you tried.” (268)

“We writers can always write. We may not be getting paid, but we can always work. Not so for anyone else in this collaborative art called filmmaking.” (318)

“Consider Dr. Samuel Johnson’s words to a fellow writer: “Your manuscript is both good and original. The part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good.”” (319)

“Remember, audiences remember characters even more than story. Salt the mine. Make your characters memorable. Here and now.” (325)

“Sooner or later you may have to accept the fact that your ability does not best reside in comedy or drama or action adventure or whatever. It’s all right to lack strong aptitude for certain story forms, but deluding yourself is not alright. Identifying your strengths and weaknesses in writing is as important a self-recognition as you can have as a beginning or established writer.” (329)

“Don’t be an “anything you like I like” writer because you will be as undesirable to those persons able to buy your wares as a writer who won’t listen at all.” (335)

“Many writers who have been working a long time have huge attitudes, yet blame their lack of employment on ageism. Often that’s real, but as often their attitude in meetings is simply insufferable. They’re almost always dealing with people younger and less experienced than themselves. They find it hard not to come off as “the teacher.” Quinn Martin said: “We’re not doing Shakespeare. It’s a game. Play it, enjoy it. If the day comes when you can’t, get out.”” (335)

“If you must say “no,” make sure you’re not destroying your future relationship with that person. You’d rather be effective, and not be replaced by another writer, than be right. In this business of show, you can be “right” but wrong in the long of the haul. Do not be “wrong by being right.”” (336)

“We do not need to like Citizen Kane, most of the Humphrey Bogart characters, or the pedophile Howie in Fallen Angel. We need to understand them. To understand them means to dimensionalize them. To develop the character beyond the stereotype. To make Butch and Sundance more than robbers. To make E.T. Not a monster from outer space, but lovable and loving.” (338)

“Don’t worry about making the character lovable. Worry about the role’s having dimension so that “they” and the audience understand why the character is what the character is. Put in “pet the dog” scenes.” (338)

“UCLA’s John Wooden constantly tried to psychologically condition his team to have as close to the same demeanor when they lost as when they won. He believed if the lows were too low and the highs too high, the slams at each end would be destructive to the team’s season-long morale.” (341)

“Many professors, professionals, and others in the midst of life seem to be locked in the mode of not believing a majority of people have talent.” (344)

As always, if you find these quotes useful, please buy the full book here.

I recently finished reading “Mastery: The Keys to Long-Term Fulfillment” by George Leonard. Here are the quotes I found interesting. As always, if you like the quotes, please consider buying the book here.

“If there is any sure route to success and fulfillment in life, it is to be found in the long-term, essentially goalless process of mastery.” (xiii)

“You have to be willing to spend most of your time on a plateau, to keep practicing even when you seem to e getting nowhere.” (15)

“When your tennis partner starts improving his or her game and you don’t, the game eventually breaks up. The same thing applies to relationships.” (24)

“Unlike the Hacker, we were working hard, doing the best we could to improve our skills. But we had learned the perils of getting ahead of ourselves, and now were willing ot stay on the plateau for as long as was necessary. Ambition still was there, but it was tame.d Once again we enjoyed our training. We loved the plateau. And we made progress.” (44)

““A lot of people go for things only because a teacher told them they should, or their parents,” said Olympic gymnast Peter Vidmar. “People who get into something for the money, the fame, or the medal can’t be effective. When you discover your own desire, you’re not going to wait for other people to find solutions to your problems. You’re going to find your own. I set goals for myself, but underlying all the goals and the work wast he fact that I enjoyed it.”” (45)

“Recognition is often unsatisfying and fame is like seawater for the thirsty. Love of your work, willingness to stay with it even in the absence of extrinsic reward, is good food and good drink.” (47)

“Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is not a man of small ego. I’m sure he loved the money, the fame, the privileges his career brought him. But he loved the sky-hook more.” (48)

“The human individual is equipped to learn and go on learning prodigiously from birth to death, and this is precisely what sets him or her apart from all other known forms of life. Man has at various times been defined as a building animal, a working animal, and a fighting animal, but all of these definitions are incomplete and finally false. Man is a learning animal.” (53)

“If you intend to take the journey of mastery, the best thing you can do is to arrange for first-rate instruction.” (55)

“Even those who will some day overthrow conventional ways of thinking or doing need to know what it is they are overthrowing.” (55)

“It’s particularly challenging, in fact, for a top performer to become a first-rate teacher. Instruction demands a certain humility; at best, the teacher takes delight in being surpassed by his or her students.” (57)

“The essence of the instructor’s art lies in the ability to work effectively and enthusiastically with beginners and to serve as a guide on the path of mastery for those who are neither as fast nor as talented as the norm.” (58)

“In his book Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, Zen master Shunryu Suzuki approaches the question of fast and slow learners in terms of horses. “In our scriptures, it is said that there are four kinds of horses: excellent ones, good ones, poor ones, and bad ones. The best horse will run slow and fast, right and left, at the driver’s will, before it sees the shadow of the whip; the second best will run as well as the first one, just before the whip reaches its skin; the third one will run when it feels pain on its body; the fourth will run after the pain penetrates to the marrow of its bones. You can imagine how difficult it is for the fourth one to learn to run.
“When we hear this story, almost all of us want to be the best horse. If it is impossible to be the best one, we want to be the second best.” But this is a mistake, Master Suzuki says. When you learn too easily, you’re tempted not to work hard, not to penetrate to the marrow of a practice.
“If you study calligraphy, you will find that those who are not so clever usually become the best calligraphers. Those who are very clever with their hands often encounter great difficulty after they have reached a certain stage. This is also true in art, and in life.” The best horse, according to Suzuki, may be the worst horse. And the worse horse can be the best, for if it perseveres, it will have learned whatever it is practicing all the way to the marrow of its bones.” (67)

“Learning eventually involves interaction between the learner and the learning environment, and its effectiveness relates tot he frequency, quality, variety, and intensity of the interaction.” (68)

“If the traveler is fortunate – that is, if the path is complex and profound enough – the destination is two miles farther way for every mile he or she travels.” (74)

“There’s another secret: The people we know as masters don’t devote themselves to their particular skill just to get better at it. The truth is, they love to practice – and because of this they do get better. And then, to complete the circle, the better they get the more they enjoy performing the basic moves over and over again.” (75)

““The master,” an old martial arts saying goes, “is the one who stays on the mat five minutes longer every day than anybody else.”” (76)

“The master of any game is generally a master of practice.” (77)

““How long will it take me to master aikido?” a prospective student asks. “How Long do you expect to live?” is the only respectable response.” (79)

“The courage of a master is measured by his or her willingness to surrender. This means surrendering to your teacher and to the demands of your discipline. It also means surrendering your own hard-won proficiency from time to time in order to reach a higher or different level of proficiency.” (81)

“The essence of boredom is to be found in the obsessive search for novelty: Satisfaction lies in mindful repetition, the discovery of endless richness in subtle variations on familiar themes.” (83)

“For the master, surrender means there are no experts. There are only learners.” (88)

“Now we come, as come we must in anything of real consequence, to a seeming contradiction, a paradox. Almost without exception, those we know as masters are dedicated to the fundamentals of their calling. They are zealots of practice, connoisseurs of the small, incremental step. At the same time – and here’s the paradox – these people, these masters, are precisely the one who are likely to challenge previous limits, to take risks for the sake of higher performance, and even to become obsessive at times in that pursuit. Clearly, for them the key is not either/or, it’s both/and.” (97)

“The trick here is not only to test the edges of the envelope, but also to walk the fine line between endless, goalless practice and those alluring goals that appear along the way.” (98)

In the words of the ancient Eastern adage: “Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water.”” (99)

“The new black belt is expected to be on the mat the next day, ready to take the first fall.” (99)

“But before you can even consider playing this edge, there must be many years of instruction, practice, surrender, and intentionality. And afterwards? More training, more time on the plateau: the never-ending path again.” (101)

“Backsliding is a universal experience. Every one of us resists significant change, no matter whether it’s for the worse or for the better. Our body, brain, and behavior have a built-in tendency to stay the same within rather narrow limits, and to snap back when changed – and it’s a very good thing they do.” (107)

“If an organization or cultural reform meets tremendous resistance, it is because it’s either a tremendously bad idea or a tremendously good idea. Trivial change, bureaucratic meddling, is much easier to accept, and that’s one reason why you see so much of it.” (112)

“The fine art of playing the edge in this case involves a willingness to take one step back for every two forward, sometimes vice versa. It also demands a determination to keep pushing, but not without awareness. Simply turning off your awareness to the warnings deprives you of guidance and risks damaging the system. Simply pushing your way through despite the warning signals increases the possibility of backsliding.” (115)

Tools for mastery:

1. Be aware of the way homeostasis works.
2. Be willing to negotiate with your resistance to change.
3. Develop a support system.
4. Follow a regular practice.
5. Dedicate yourself to lifelong learning. (114-118)

“A human being is the kind of machine that wears out from lack of use. There are limits, of course, and we do need healthful rest and relaxation, but for the most part we gain energy by using energy. Often the best remedy for physical weariness is thirty minutes of aerobic exercise.” (120)

Getting energy for mastery:

1. Maintain physical fitness
2. Acknowledge the negative and accentuate the positive.
3. Try telling the truth.
4. Honor but don’t indulge your own dark side.
5. Set your priorities
6. Make Commitments
7. Get on the path of mastery and stay on it. (123-131)

“Priorities do shift, and you can change them at any time, but simply getting them down in black and white adds clarity to your life, and clarity creates energy.” (129)

“The gift of an externally imposed deadline isn’t always available. Sometimes you need to set your own. But you have to take it seriously. One way to do this is to make it public.” (130)

“You can’t build energy up by not using it. Adequate rest is, of course, a part of the master’s journey, but, unaccompanied by positive action, rest may only depress you.” (131)

““Never marry a person,” psychologist Nathaniel Brandon tells his clients, “who is not a friend of your excitement.”” (134)

Pitfalls along the path to mastery:

1. Conflicting way of life
2. Obsessive goal orientation
3. Poor instruction
4. Lack of competitiveness
5. Over-competitiveness
6. Laziness
7. Injuries
8. Drugs
9. Prizes and medals
10. Vanity
11. Dead seriousness
12. Inconsistency
13. Perfectionism (133-140)

“It’s fine to have ambitious goals, but the best way of reaching them is to cultivate modest expectations at every step along the way. When you’re climbing a mountain, in other words, be aware that the peak is ahead, but don’t keep looking up at it. Keep your eyes on the path. And when you reach the top of the mountain, as the Zen saying goes, keep on climbing.” (134)

“If you’re always thinking about appearances, you can never attain the state of concentration that’s necessary for effective learning and top performance.” (138)

“To be deadly serious is to suffer tunnel vision. When choosing fellow voyagers, beware of grimness, self importance, and the solemn eye.” (139)

“Even without comparing ourselves to the world’s greatest, we set such high standards for ourselves that neither we nor anyone else could ever meet them-and nothing is more destructive to creativity than this. We fail to realize that mastery is not about perfection. It’s about a process, a journey. The master is the one who stays on the path day after day, year after year. The master is the one who is willing to try, and fail, and try again, for as long as he or she lives.” (140)

“Psychologist Abraham Maslow discovered a childlike quality (he called it a “second naivete”) in people who have met an unusually high degree of their potential.” (175)

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