Going last at a music and comedy mic
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_e30DwloR8
6m56s Don’t say “it’s not a real thing”
8m29s Change “know what I’m talking about” to “know what I mean” because I said the former ten seconds ago
Part 2
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRz5IdxUkgo
0m52s Change the lines after “my grandma”
1m49s Change “impatient” to “tired of waiting”
Overall: Good for six people being there. I got consistent (but light) laughs throughout.
An open mic
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nauqYa7bXl0
1m14s More emphasis on “that’s”
1m22s Stop treating “it’s really hard to raise a, dog” as a punchline
1m39s End sentence at “in a basement” no need for “for a couple of hours”
3m19s Better delivery on “that’s totally understandable”
3m31s It should be “comedian” not “cop”
4m57s End the joke on “grandma” or change the next twenty seconds
6m14s Try moving my whole arm and not bending at the elbow
Overall: Reworking some stuff, some of it needs work, a lot of it needs cutting.
MCing my Astoria show
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_M3TAcXWIc
1m02s Add “you can actually share your food and we can all get full”
3m14s Try “there was no point to that except for that I wanted to stretch my hand”
6m51s Good job reading the audience
8m18s Try “that’s a shady thing for HER to say”
8m31s Add in “no wonder she doesn’t want to admit to dating you”
Part 2
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xK85BRjMmwI
0m49s I could add in “you’re like, “I can’t laugh because I’m still too shocked that I’m not in a relationship, but I approve”
Overall: Decent hosting. My whole “inept psychic” crowd work bit really hit today. I should try to push that and do it for longer at a time when I’m hosting.
An open mic
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mM0WqSZpD5Y
0m40s It should be “Hey Jenny” not “hey”
1m30s Decent improvised lines
1m51s Try the line as “married people know what I mean”
3m03s Cut this line
4m51s It should be “Enjoy YOUR ride” not “the ride”
5m07s I missed the word “online” before survey
Overall: Keep rewriting the material.
Hosting the writer’s mic
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlPMixXrInI
2m53s Cut the agent line
3m17s Get to “castrate them” quicker
4m23s Change this set up to, “It seems that there’s more gay people now then there ever were. I think guys just…”
6m10s Change “like” to “are into”
6m26s No need for the grandpa line
Overall: Still reworking old jokes with new tags. They’re getting tighter but still need more rewriting.
