A friend of mine recently IMed me:
“Look at this picture from our trip to Beth and Justin’s wedding
We took it especially for you.”
Apparently, this is a chain of gas stations around Omaha, Nebraska.
Last night, a singer went on at the open mic after me, and asked me (over the mic of course):
Singer: “What’s the difference between jelly and jam?”
Ben: “I don’t know, what is it?”
Singer: “I can’t jelly my dick up your ass!”