A 9PM Show
httpv://youtu.be/LWO_ssoybzg
0m08s Weird start
1m05s No need for a save line here
1m06s Find the lighting better
1m24s Better to say “you’ll be able to relate to this”
4m03s The hands shaking is good
Overall: Mediorce set at best. I got laughs but no room laughs.
The 8pm show
httpv://youtu.be/9X1HfsF9ZT0
0m23s Try giving a “what the hell” look
1m10s Palm in a weird position, make it seem less robotic
3m43s Say “you’re” at the start of the sentence to be clearer
3m54s Say “it’d be like”
4m17s Emphasize “lifetime” harder
4m22s No need for the “yeah” here
4m38s Might be able to cut the horny line, it’s not working that well
5m44s Good crowd work
5m52s Sell the eye roll even harder
6m03s Smile a little more on this
6m52s Not the right place for this one liner
7m06s The “I’m tough enough” was improvised but might be a decent idea
7m24s Move eyes around more
8m04s Sell the “oh that’s so cool” better
9m12s Shouldn’t have done this bit here, always close with it
10m04s Try having the eyes open a little more
10m52s Should’ve done it with the accent
Overall: I got consistent laughs but it wasn’t as strong or as smooth as it should be.
Opening the 10pm show
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8zyBbylqOI
2m41s The “thanks” steps on the laugh
3m31s Could’ve milked it for even longer
3m59s Sound happier on “baby”
5m10s There’s some sort of AT&T joke here after “no service”
5m30s Could’ve asked why they were being shady about it
6m57s Smile more during this song
Overall: Good for first, couple of places I can edit down
The 8pm show
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIyiON-hyWs
3m34s The eyes should be darting even harder and faster
4m20s Good job reacting to a weird reaction
5m15s Enunciate the “s” at the end of contracts
5m38s Pointing across the body is stronger body language
6m03s Cut everything after the championship
6m52s Fun improvising stuff
8m21s Great audience response
10m16s Prison clown isn’t working
11m16s More emphasis on “I never realized”
Overall: Solid but not spectacular set, but I had fun and did a lot of crowd work in the middle.
Closing the 8pm show
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeoMbJAPlUM
0m35s Address the talking at this point since it occurred twice, otherwise it seems like I’m too robotic
3m38s Milk the kissy face for longer
4m18s Sound happier about the amazing stats right up front
4m42s Cut everything after the threesome championship
5m55s Do the eye roll stronger
6m42s She was talking louder than it sounds
7m13s Good improvised response
8m18s Not sure why the joke fell apart
10m10s Say “I’m kidding” way more playfully
10m44s Gotta have a third save line in the old barrel
Overall: The first 8 minutes were strong, then I dipped for 3.5 minutes but brought it back for a decent close.
