Month: December 2011

The 8pm show

httpv://youtu.be/2UmFGwm7NbM

0m17s Tighten those first two sentences

0m32s Pause before “bullshit”

1m49s Say the line smoother

2m28s Make the second one “Halo” or “call of duty” instead of repeating Madden

2m54s Hit the line stronger without jumbling words

3m33s Pause after “12^th century” as that seems to the laugh line

5m24s Nice job being in the room and noticing that

6m48s Add “it’s just a hunch” or “I’d actually guess Denny’s”

7m09s Six pack is funnier than twenty four pack

7m47s It should be “and you’re horny” not “or you’re horny”

9m15s Emphasize “AND”

Overall: Great set. I did a lot of new and newer material and it went over really well. I just gotta smooth out my words in a few places.

Going up around 2am on a music and comedy mic

httpv://youtu.be/hvN87eWN2Sc

1m21s Change up his voice a bit more

2m21s Leave it as “you do” no need to rephrase to “you do”

3m30s Funny improvised line about the sick day, but should probably cut or rework most of this bit

4m39s Make this a conversation with an actual person

4m44s Give the immigrants an accent

6m02s It actually did completely miss and needs a rewrite

8m01s Try yawning on the “you’re so tired” line

8m53s I could’ve improvised a “she wants me to end this too” line based on the material I was doing

9m05s Change “modern art” to “your masterpiece”

11m04s Cut out the word “kitchen”

Overall: The two newer jokes were kinda weak but the Blade bit at the end went well.

The 930 show/mic (no audience, all comics)

httpv://youtu.be/hYGXcHa_8BI

1m00s No need for the negative comment

4m11s Add “shitty” before jobs

4m41s Remember the word

Overall: Good response for a mic, keep working out the new material

Doing a check spot on the 10pm show

httpv://youtu.be/CVmcIcJpe7I

0m59s Do a longer up and down look

2m48s Nice improvised bit here

3m29s Gotta remember the word “over-entitled”

3m59s It should be “super tough film major” not “byzantine dance”

Overall: Ok for checks, but gotta remember the word “over-entitled” and if I’m gonna do a new bit on a short set, do it earlier on so I can finish it.

Closing out the 8pm show

httpv://youtu.be/P-So322DE0k

0m32s Change “we are not” back to “we’re not”

1m26s Handled that curveball decently well

1m43s Restate “I can tell you’ve disappointed your parents” if I go off the cuff before saying “disappointdar”

4m38s My eyes should be looking up almost towards the ceiling

4m48s Don’t over shake the mic

5m18s Good call out

5m28s Could’ve gone into a cell phone bit because I was reminded about it

7m14s Decent place to put that

10m31s Stay in the psychotic character for an extra second after the secret

Overall: Good set but not great.