Multiple pro comics I know say that nobody wants to Emcee anymore but that Emceeing skills train you to become very funny very fast and give you the ability to headline quicker. With that in mind, I asked one of the pros I talk to for his tips on how to be a great MC, here is the advice I took away.

1. Come in with super high energy. You want to get the audience’s energy as high as possible
2. Get a couple of rounds of cheap applause (“Clap it up for yourselves”, “Who’s happy it’s a Friday night?)
3. Next go straight into crowd work, asking the standard questions like “Where are you from?”, “What do you do for work”, etc. Try to make jokes about their answers, or joke about the fact that their answers are boring
4. Don’t ask more than 3 tables in a row, or people will hate you
5. Get some more cheap applause
6. Do a couple of your jokes
7. Repeat step 3 through 6 as needed, establish the pattern.
8. Get a final round of applause (“Who’s ready to get this show started?) then bring out the first comic
9. When you come on stage between each comic, make sure to maintain a super high level of energy to keep the audience in their seats and excited about the next comic
10. Most important, the emcee has to be a person. You can’t talk at people, you have to talk to them. (This applies to regular stand up spots as well, but especially if you’re the host.)

A lot of people are scared of speaking in front of large groups. And that’s when you’re not even trying to get them to laugh. At one of the open mics I go to, a newer comedian asked me how I overcame being nervous on stage. (My hands used to shake while holding the mic and I would never pause after punch lines.)

Tip #1: There’s no real shortcut, getting over stage fright just comes with reps. The more you’re on stage, the less nervous you get. If you can get comfortable with complete silence (when neither you nor the audience is talking) you’ll be well on your way. 

Tip #2: Practice deep breathing for five minutes before getting on stage. Focusing on taking deep breaths helps calm the adrenaline and still the mind. Picturing your performancein your mind and hearing the laughs and pauses works well in conjunction with breathing, as long as you can remain positive. 

Tip #3: Read “The Inner Game of Tennis” this will help you with most of everything you do in life, not just getting comfortable on stage. The basic summary of the book is to turn off your conscious, questioning everything mind and to trust your subconscious. This book is basically about how to get in, and stay in, “the zone”. I highly recommend reading it even if you have no intention of getting on stage (or playing tennis). 

Tip #4: Use alcohol or drugs. A pro comic I know said he uses alcohol as his crutch and has been doing it for over 10 years. He mentioned that the first few times he did comedy he was sober and wasn’t funny, so he started drinking, felt more at ease and got funny. He said many pro comics he knows use alcohol, pot or cocaine to get into a good state of mind before getting on stage. I don’t recommend this strategy, as you never know when an entire state can run dry on coke. This tip may also be an issue if you’re overcoming stage fright to present at a work conference at 9am…

Tip #5: Channel the nervous energy in a positive way. Being nervous in and of itself isn’t bad, it’s what you do with the nervousness. There was a recent ESPN article about Tiger Woods who was quoted as saying, “The day I’m not nervous is the day I quit… Of course I’ll be nervous. That’s the greatest thing about it, just to feel that rush.” If the greatest golfer still gets nervous (and he doesn’t even have to speak!), it’s okay if you get feel it too. Just try to turn it into something you can use while speaking.

In conclusion, accept that you’re going to have some nerves. Acknowledge that it’s natural, know you’ve gotten through it before (unless it’s your first time on stage) and this should already make you less nervous. Then when the adrenaline occurs, either turn that nervousness into a positive, or do your best to ignore it.

Reader and aspiring comedian Andrew asks:

How do you go about writing new material? Is it just things that seem funny to you in real life, or do you sit down and try to think up funny situations, or what? 

Hey Andrew,

I always have a small moleskin notebook with me (and an iPhone as a backup) so I write down anything I think, see or hear that’s funny. Sometimes this will lead to me writing a joke on the spot, sometimes it’ll just be a few key words that I later try to write into full jokes. I also try to write on trains or subways through free association. I look around until I find something interesting and start to write about it. (There’s plenty of inspiration in NYC just by looking at people or advertisements, not sure if this holds true everywhere.) 

Later, I’ll rewrite my notebook jokes into a GoogleDocs file. (Your hard drive can crash, Google Docs is safer and you can access your jokes from anywhere, including an iPhone / Blackberry.) After that, I’ll either try it out on stage or IM it to a few friends and get their feedback. I’ve found that not looking at a joke for a day or two will help you be a better editor when you rewrite it. And all of my jokes need to be said out loud at least 10 times before they become funny-. 

Also, after trying a joke on stage, if it gets laughs, I try to think about how to add more punchlines to the same topic. You can go setup -> punchline, set up -> punchline, setup -> punchline, or you can try to go setup -> punchline -> punchline -> punchline. 

One goal in stand up is to maximize the laughs per minute. You can do this by talking really fast (which is generally a bad idea) or by having more punchlines and less setup. This is also why you’ll always hear comics say “get to the punchline quicker.” (The other goal in standup is to maximize the intensity of each laugh.) 

I read that Jerry Seinfeld had a long sheet of paper with dates and “X”s on it. For every day he wrote, he’d put an X. His whole mantra is to “keep the chain going”. I’ve been trying this but with three columns: sit ups (I don’t wanna be a fat comic), writing material and performing stand up. I try to do all three daily but don’t always succeed. I keep this paper close by though, so I at least remember and have something to strive towards.

I forget who said this, but I read a quote something like “I only write when inspiration strikes. However, inspiration strikes me every day at 7am sharp.” I’m working towards getting this discipline. 

Reader and aspriing comedian Andrew asks:

How do you react when people don’t laugh? Do you just go straight onto the next bit and pretend that there weren’t supposed to be laughs at that specific point? 

Hey Andrew, 

My answer to this still evolving.  

At first, my natural tendency was to 1) die a little inside if the crowd didn’t laugh at something I thought was funny and then 2) speed up my delivery so people don’t notice that was a failed punch line. 

My current method is to stop talking after what I think is a punch line, stare straight into the audience and wait 2 to 3 seconds. If you’re confident enough and the punch line is somewhat funny, you’ll usually get a laugh. If it doesn’t happen, you still die inside, but you need to move on without speeding up. 

Keep in mind, not talking for one second when nobody is laughing will feel like ten minutes. During a show I’ll think I paused for 10 seconds, but on tape it’s really only 2 or 3 seconds. 

Other times, I’ll also just admit that joke failed, and I get a laugh from that. “Wow, I’m never doing that one again,” “God, I hope the next comic is better than this” or “You’re right, that wasn’t funny.”  

If a joke doesn’t work with a few different audiences, it’s time to cut or rework the joke. The larger an audience is, the more useful their response. It’s a lot harder to get 3 people to laugh (especially if they’re comics) than it is to get 30 or 300 people to laugh. Laughter is contagious. 

I’ve also been playing a little bit with forcing out the laugh even if they don’t want to laugh by just waiting and waiting, after a 5 or 6 seconds, the tension usually gets awkward and they laugh (watch some of my recent videos for examples –I’ve been working on just staring at them until they laugh).

One last method I’ve been playing with is saving half a joke until people don’t laugh. I have a bit about “When someone doesn’t laugh at a joke, I just assume they’re deaf.” I’m now saving the second part of that, “Turn up your hearing aid” for if/when a joke fails.

I try to approach every time on stage as a learning experience and a step towards improving as a comedian. 

I have two metaphors that I try to keep in mind, especially after a bad show. I thought I’d share them as maybe they’ll help someone else get through a tough patch in comedy or any other passion (or job) they have:

1. Every performance is a brick in the wall of what will eventually become an amazing castle. 
2. I’m in the middle of a dense forest and can’t see around me. I have an axe, and instead of worrying about my situation, I need to just put my head down, get to work, and keep chopping. If I chop for long enough, I’ll get out of the woods. (I’m a huge Rutgers Football fan and I borrowed this metaphor from Coach Schiano.) 

As much as I want to kill it at every show, this isn’t realistically possible at this stage of my career (although that’s still my goal every time). Therefore I view each show as a step towards the next one. One bad show won’t make or break my career  – although some shows are much more important than others in this respect.