I recently read “How To Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. Below are the quotes I found most interesting. If you like them, buy the book.
“99 times out of 100, people don’t criticize themselves for anything, no matter how wrong it may be.” (32)
“Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself.” (32)
“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.” (39)
“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. “A man show his greatness,” said Carlyle, “by the way he treats little men.”” (39)
“As Dr. Johnson said: “God himself, sir, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days.” Why should you and I?” (42)
“Principle 1: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.” (42)
“There is only one way under high heaven to get anybody to do an
Ything. Did you ever stop to think of that? Yes, just one way. And that is by making the other person want to do it.” (43)
“The desire for a feeling of importance is one of the chief distinguishing differences between mankind and the animals.” (44)
“Many people who go insane find in insanity a feeling of importance that they were unable to achieve in the world of reality.” (47)
“Schwab said, “There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loath to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.”” (48)
“Principle 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation.” (54)
“The only way to influence people is to talk in terms of what the other person wants.” (57)
“Before you speak, pause and ask yourself, “How can I make this person want to do it?” (58)
“Thousands of salespeople are pounding the pavements today, tired, discouraged and underpaid. Why? Because they are always thinking only of what they want. They don’t realize that neither you nor I want to buy anything. If we did, we would go out and buy it. But both of us are eternally interested in solving our problems. And if salespeople can show us how their services or merchandise will help us solve our problems, they won’t need to sell us. We’ll buy. And customers like to feel that they are buying – not being sold.” (65)
“The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. So the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage. He has little competition.” (66)
“Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.” (70)
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” (74)
“If the author doesn’t like people, people won’t like his or her stories.” (75)
“Every time he went on stage Thurston said to himself “I am grateful because these people come to see me. They make it possible for me to make my living in a very agreeable way. I’m going to give them the very best I possibly can.” He declared he never stepped in front of the footlights without first saying to himself over and over: “I love my audience. I love my audience.”” (76-77)
“Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.” (84)
“He said I was really human when I smiled.” (88)
“Everybody in the world is seeking happiness – and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts.” (89)
“Jim Farley discovered early in life that the average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth put together.” (93)
“Principle 3: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” (99)
“Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.” (108)
“Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.” (112)
“Principle 6: Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.” (123)
“Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with each of the contestants more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely right.” (127)
“There’s magic, positive magic, in such phrases as: “I may be wrong. I frequently am. Let’s examine the facts.” (133)
“From James Harvey Robinson’s enlightening book The Mind in the Making:
“We sometimes find ourselves changing our minds without any resistance or heavy emotion, but if we are told we are wrong, we resent the imputation and harden our hearts. We are incredibly heedless in the formation of our beliefs, but find ourselves filled with an illicit passion for them when anyone proposes to rob us of their companionship. It is obviously not the ideas themselves that are dear to us, but our self-esteem which is threatened….” (135)
“Principle 2: Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say “You’re wrong.”” (141)
“Say about yourself all the derogatory things you know the other person is thinking or wants to say or intends to say – and say them before that person has a chance to say them.” (143)
“If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend.” (151)
“In talking with people, don’t begin by discussing the things on which you differ. Begin by emphasizing – and keep on emphasizing – the things on which you agree.” (157)
“A magic phrase that would stop arguments, eliminate ill feeling, create good will and make the other person listen attentively: I don’t blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do.”” (177)
“A person usually has two reasons for doing a thing: one that sounds good and a real one.” (184)
“Because he had singled out a specific accomplishment, rather than just making general flattering remarks, his praise became much more meaningful to the person to whom it was given. Everybody likes to be praised, but when praise is specific, it comes across as sincere – not something the other person may be saying just to make one feel good.” (221)
“Abilities wither under criticism; they blossom under encouragement.” (222)
Liked the quotes? Then buy the book.
