The Heckler Who Couldn’t

“Ladies and Gentleman, we’re gonna have a guest “oh snap” contest. Sir, you can finally come up on stage,” says The Legendary Wid

The Heckler gets up on stage. 

“So what’s your name sir? What do you do?”

“I’m just a man doin what I do.” The previously vocal heckler is getting a little gun shy now that the lights are on him. I guess being on stage against the night’s best “oh snap” talker can do that to you.

Vid pipes in, “Okay, you don’t have to give a name. We can just call you Ray Ray.”

Chris, the winner of the contest to date, grabs the mic. “Where’d you get that coat, the army surplus store? You look like a poor man’s Kayne West.”

After two hours of trying to out talk and out jokes every comic, the heckler grabs the mic. The actual spotlight is finally on him. You can see the wheels turning. And turning.

Stutter…

stutter…

he sits down.

 

Last night’s scene at Laff House reminded me of the old Teddy Roosevelt quote:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

Jelly and Jam

Last night, a singer went on at the open mic after me, and asked me (over the mic of course):

Singer: “What’s the difference between jelly and jam?”

Ben: “I don’t know, what is it?”

Singer: “I can’t jelly my dick up your ass!”